


why am i here :')

by bluecalicocat



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Boys in Skirts, But also, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Homophobia, Humor, Insomnia, Light Angst, Memes, Polyamory, References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Texting, and chan is the parent!, anyway i tagged it now, chan and his chaos children, even though it's there, it's not about the romance, slow burn but like, stray kids family!!, text fic, there is actual plot involved in this one! it actually progresses!, they talk a lot about sexuality and mental health, wHY did no one tell me i forgot to tag seunglix??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 49,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecalicocat/pseuds/bluecalicocat
Summary: chan just wants his friends to get to know each other, but it turns into a chaotic mess... oh well. it's his own fault for making this group chat in the first place.la la llamafun fact: the phrase “ignore it and it will go away” does not apply to the police!beach boithat’s tHE OPPOSITE OF A FUN FACTNOW I’M STRESSEDHYUNJIN WHAT HAPPENED???
Relationships: Bang Chan & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin & Everyone, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin & Everyone, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) & Everyone, Lee Minho & Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Seo Changbin & Everyone, Yang Jeongin | I.N & Everyone
Comments: 334
Kudos: 851





	1. preschool teacher chan

_beach boi_ has added twice fanboy, catdad, and 5 others to the group chat:  
**my friends :’)**

**beach boi**  
before anyone can argue w me on this:  
yes i think this is a good decision  
no you may not leave  
so with that out of the way, i now welcome you to this group chat! :)

 **jisoong**  
hyung why is the smiley face crying?

 **pabbit**  
out of all the things happening here rn, why is that your main concern

 **twice fanboy**  
haha hyung who are all these people  
why am i here :’)

 **jisoong**  
why are all the smiley faces crying!!!

 **catdad**  
why are any of us here, really?

 **beach boi**  
just because it’s 1 am doesn’t mean we have to get existential  
let’s not go there today, okay?

 **pabbit**  
hahhah that rhymed

 **twice fanboy**  
i still don’t know who any of these people are  
get me out of here!  
heeelp!!!  
stranger danger!

 **beach boi**  
calm down child  
i don’t think any of you guys know each other  
that’s why i thought it would be a good idea for you to introduce yourselves

 **pabbit**  
chan hyung  
are you trying to play matchmaker again??

 **beach boi**  
no! but you’re all my children so i figured you should make friends with each other!

 **catdad**  
i am,,, One (1) year younger than you  
i’d like to plead innocent to being your son

 **jisoong**  
bold of you to assume you have any say in it

 **twice fanboy**  
okay so there are eight people in this chat but only five of us are active  
where’s the rest?

 **pabbit**  
maybe they have functional sleep schedules

 **beach boi**  
bold of you to assume :/

 **myday**  
lmao, i’ve been lurking  
didn’t wanna say anything before i understood wtf is going on  
i still haven’t figured it out, but…

 **beach boi**  
hi, welcome!

 **angel**  
uwu i am here now too! channie, what is this?

 **twice fanboy**  
omg a baby!

 **angel**  
ehh,,, No Thanks Sir

 **beach boi**  
hello!  
it’s a group chat for all my closest freinds/children!  
so you can get to know each other!

 **pabbit**  
you misspelled friends..

 **catdad**  
does anyone wanna bet on how long it will take before chan hyung regrets this?

 **jisoong**  
wait  
if you’re a catdad, and chan hyung is your parent,,,  
does that make chan hyung the grandparent of your cat/s?

 **catdad**  
…oh  
i hadn’t thought of that

 **beach boi**  
uuh, did anyone wanna introduce themselves, or…?

 **myday**  
one person still isn’t here

 **twice fanboy**  
omg! someone who knows how to count!  
those people are rare

 **jisoong**  
i wish i could disagree with you, but…

 **beach boi**  
okay let’s all introduce ourselves so the others know your name  
i’m chan, for those of you who still hadn’t figured that out

 **pabbit**  
do you really have to introduce yourself if everyone here knows you already?

 **jisoong**  
rude much  
what does pabbit even mean

 **beach boi**  
hahah, funny story actually…

 **pabbit**  
no stop  
don’t  
let’s go with the introductions instead!!

 **beach boi**  
sure, if you say so :)

 **twice fanboy**  
ion no was goin on...

 **angel**  
samesies

 **myday**  
…did you just say samesies?

 **angel**  
and what about it??

 **beach boi**  
OKAY, so! names, ages, college majors, let’s go!  
pabbit can go first since he was so keen on doing the introductions :)

 **pabbit**  
you know that’s not it hyung,,,

 **jisoong**  
dude just say your name already

 **twice fanboy**  
yeah dude come on!

 **pabbit**  
okay fine!  
i’m seo changbin, 21, fourth year majoring in health and physical education  
is there anything else i should say

 **beach boi**  
no that’s good, thank you changbin!

 **myday**  
why does chan hyung sound like a preschool teacher

 **catdad**  
i mean‚,, he did call all of us children, so  
that’s not too far fetched

 **beach boi**  
minho! your turn to introduce yourself!

 **catdad**  
by what logic???

 **beach boi**  
age order  
except we already kinda screwed that up by putting changbin first…  
well whatever  
just introduce yourself please

 **jisoong**  
*whispers* he’s an exasperated preschool teacher

 **myday**  
lmao, true

 **catdad**  
okay then  
my name’s lee minho, i’m 22 but i’m also a 4th year since i started a year late cause i was liVinG tHat tOuR liFe, yA kNoW??  
anyway  
i major in dance

 **twice fanboy**  
what does liVinG tHat tOuR liFe mean???

 **catdad**  
i was a background dancer on a tour

 **twice fanboy**  
ohmygosh that’s so cool!  
big wow!

 **myday**  
so who’s next?

 **beach boi**  
if we’re doing age order it should be hyunjin  
but i don’t think he’s online

 **la la llama**  
hA  
fooled once again!

 **beach boi**  
oh, you’re here!

 **la la llama**  
i actually just came online but yeah  
anyway what’s happening?

 **beach boi**  
group chat with all my friends, everyone’s doing introductions, it’s your turn :)  
please state your name, age and major

 **la la llama**  
oooh fun!!  
my name is hwang hyunjin and i’m 20 years old! i’m an art major!

 **jisoong**  
i know you!

 **la la llama**  
you do…?

 **jisoong**  
you’re the guy who started a fire in the dorm last week so everyone had to evacuate!

 **beach boi**  
wait wait  
hyunjin, you did wHAT???

 **la la llama**  
hyung it was a long time ago, you can’t blame me for who i was in the past  
i’m a changed boi now

 **beach boi**  
jisung just said it was last week though

 **jisoong**  
oh, uhh  
time is fake  
might have been last week, might have been last year, might have been last night  
who knows?

 **beach boi**  
…kay, i’ll let it go  
For now!

 **la la llama**  
hahah thanks

 **beach boi**  
jisung it’s your turn now

 **jisoong**  
oh man, oh boi, here we go  
i’m han jisung! :D  
also 20, so i’m a 3rd year, major in music

 **beach boi**  
great! good job jisung!  
felix, it’s you now

 **twice fanboy**  
oh okay!!!  
i’m felix lee!  
i’m australian!  
also 20 years old!  
major in creative writing!

 **catdad**  
so many exclamation points, it hurt my brain to read

 **twice fanboy**  
good! it should!!

 **angel**  
okay there’s only two people left now

 **beach boi**  
and you’re the maknae here so you’re going last :)

 **myday**  
that means it’s my turn

 **beach boi**  
yup

 **myday**  
well okay  
i’m kim seungmin, also 20, major in psychology

 **twice fanboy**  
ooh, a smart one!

 **angel**  
cool!  
i wanna go now!

 **beach boi**  
yeah, go

_angel_ has left the group chat:  
**my friends :')**

**beach boi**  
nO! i meant go, as in go on with your introduction!  
ugh

_beach boi_ has added angel to the group chat:  
**my friends :')**

**angel**  
okay FINE i’m yang jeongin, 19 years old, and my major is education

 **beach boi**  
wonderful  
see, we got through that without this chat turning into a mess!

 **jisoong**  
now everyone could share what chan hyung is named in their contacts!

 **beach boi**  
what  
wait, no

 **catdad**  
“glucose guardian”

 **beach boi**  
minho wtf

 **twice fanboy**  
i have him saved as “australian father”

 **myday**  
boomer #2

 **beach boi**  
seungmin…!!!  
i’m not a boomer!

 **jisoong**  
ohh, is there a boomer #1 as well?

 **myday**  
yeah, that’s my older brother  
he’s dating chan

 **beach boi**  
hilarious. absolute comedy gold.

 **pabbit**  
in my contacts he is christiano bagnaldo

 **beach boi**  
this is slander!

 **angel**  
i have him saved as ringmaster!

 **beach boi**  
innie… why

 **angel**  
cause you’re the biggest clown at the circus, chan

 **jisoong**  
lmaooo  
i like this one!

 **angel**  
^-^

 **catdad**  
i wish someone had taken up my offer about that bet bc i can already feel chan hyung regretting this

 **beach boi**  
yeaaah… :/  
i wanted you to be friends  
but i did not consider the consequences of you being friends

 **pabbit**  
hahahhaha you’re gonna regret this so much hyung

 **jisoong**  
but the real question is what our names are in chan hyung’s phone

 **twice fanboy**  
ooh that’s true..

 **la la llama**  
the true mystery.. will we ever know..

 **beach boi**  
i mean, most of you have already offended me  
i wouldn’t mind repaying the favor :)  
but not right now

 **angel**  
why not?

 **beach boi**  
because it is 1:32 am and it would be very irresponsible of me to be the reason you all stay up too late

 **jisoong**  
i’m not sure i wanna know what your definition of “too late” is, considering you made this gc at 1 am

 **la la llama**  
sHIT i have class in the morning, bye everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **beach boi**  
i don’t think hyunjin is the only one who has class  
now go to bed children!!

 **catdad**  
stop calling us your children, it’s weird

 **beach boi**  
well,,, you’re all just a bunch of strays that i essentially picked up and adopted  
strays, children, there’s not much of a difference

 **myday**  
does that mean we’re your stray children?

 **angel**  
eww that doesn’t sound good

 **beach boi**  
i think i’ll just call you my stray kids instead  
that sounds a bit better  
but stop keeping the conversation going and go to bed instead!

 **twice fanboy**  
yes dad!

 **jisoong**  
sure thing dad!

 **beach boi**  
..okay, that’s my own fault  
but i still don’t like it :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where this story is going yet, but it's going somewhere! :D  
> 


	2. the mess progresses

**my friends :’)**

_beach boi_ set the chat name to **my children :’)**

**twice fanboy**  
i thought we were your stray kids!

 **beach boi**  
you are! children is another word for kids, if you didn’t know :)

 **pabbit**  
why does all of chan hyung’s smiley faces feel mildly threatening?

 **jisoong**  
i think chan hyung in general is mildly threatening  
you never know what kinda mood he’s in

 **la la llama**  
hhahah i’ve forgotten who everyone here is

 **beach boi**  
my children,, already forgetting each other,,

 **myday**  
wow this is the most realistic fake family i’ve ever been in

 **angel**  
have you been in other fake families???

 **myday**  
i didn’t say that :)

 **la la llama**  
maybe not, but you implied it…

 **beach boi**  
seungmin please don’t do psychological experiments on your new siblings

 **twice fanboy**  
oh right! he’s the psychology major!

 **pabbit**  
oh man  
are we really gonna define each other by our college majors?

 **catdad**  
yes we are  
it’s the only information we have about each other, aside from these screen names  
(which all suck btw)

_pabbit_ changed their name to changbin

**catdad**  
but now you’re boring :/

 **changbin**  
i’d rather be boring than be named pabbit, tbh

 **jisoong**  
i don’t remember what your major was so i’m having a rly hard time picturing you in my head rn

 **changbin**  
health and physical ed

 **myday**  
oh that’s right!  
i was gonna bully you for your major yesterday, but i forgot!

 **changbin**  
wHAT  
RUDE!

 **myday**  
but health and physical ed is such a het thing to major in

 **catdad**  
lmao that’s true

 **jisoong**  
ahhahah, it really is

 **beach boi**  
guys stop bullying each other!  
i made this chat so you could be friends!  
also stop hating on the hets

 **changbin**  
i appreciate your efforts chan hyung, but you tease me on the daily

 **jisoong**  
hahah same

 **changbin**  
let’s start a petition to put chan hyung down!

 **jisoong**  
yes!  
the benefits of putting him down is we would get teased way less

 **twice fanboy**  
omg  
is that a really poorly executed vine reference? :D

 **jisoong**  
mayhaps it is.. :D

 **catdad**  
wait  
i’m late but,, are there any hets in this gc?

 **beach boi**  
are you wondering to see if you offended anyone earlier, or to see if you can insult them again?

 **catdad**  
:)

 **angel**  
i’m not even out to my parents, do you just expect me to come out to a bunch of strangers in a random gc??

 **beach boi**  
…

 **angel**  
oh  
i just accidentally came out to a bunch of strangers in a random gc...  
oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **jisoong**  
don’t worry  
it happens to the best of us

 **myday**  
are you saying it has happened to you?

 **jisoong**  
no off topic questions  
because i don’t want to  
that’s an off topic question  
you have been stopped!

 **la la llama**  
you know, you could’ve just said no..

 **twice fanboy**  
hahha i like this one!  
i don’t remember your real name so i’m gonna assume jisoong is your real name even though i know it’s not  
jisoong is funny, i like him!

 **beach boi**  
his name is jisung, though you could also call him squirrel if you want to

 **changbin**  
squirrel?

 **jisoong**  
i feel attacked :/

 **beach boi**  
yeah!  
he looks like a squirrel

 **myday**  
wait,, i think i know you jisung!

 **jisoong**  
oh no

 **catdad**  
…why is your first reaction “oh no”?

 **jisoong**  
usually when people say they know me, they bring up something embarrassing they’ve seen me do  
so i don’t have the highest expectations rn :/

 **myday**  
no, nothing like that  
i just think you sang a duet with my brother at a showcase last year

 **jisoong**  
oh yeah!  
i sang a duet with one of the seniors who graduated last year, so i guess that must be him

 **beach boi**  
that senior is also my boyfriend

 **jisoong**  
i know, but i like to pretend that i don’t know :)

 **myday**  
he’s also my brother  
i remember being really impressed by your singing

 **jisoong**  
merry christmas!

 **beach boi**  
…ji, you’re an atheist  
and it’s not even winter  
and christmas has nothing w this convo to do

 **jisoong**  
sorry, i don’t know how to take compliments

 **la la llama**  
lmao relatable

 **twice fanboy**  
A Mood

 **beach boi**  
i mean, you could just say thanks like a normal person

 **changbin**  
i don’t actually know anyone here, but so far no one has seemed very normal  
but that might just be me

 **twice fanboy**  
no, trashbin has a point  
*CHANGBIN

 **angel**  
omg trashbin

 **beach boi**  
trAsH BiN

 **changbin**  
…

 **twice fanboy**  
i swear i was trying to say changbin!  
autocorrect is out to get me, istfg…  
this is dyslexiphobic :/

 **beach boi**  
that’s not a real word

 **catdad**  
lmao  
but yeah he does have a point  
no one here seems normal

 **la la llama**  
wdym  
i don’t think anyone here has been too weird

 **beach boi**  
the first thing you said upon entering this group was “hA, fooled once again!”  
i’d say that’s pretty weird

 **jisoong**  
we’re all friends with chan hyung, so of course we’re weird!  
he attracts weird people

 **beach boi**  
…oookay

 **changbin**  
squirrel boy makes a very valid point

 **jisoong**  
:/

 **myday**  
you also kinda look like young k from day6

_jisoong_ changed their name to younger k

**younger k**  
:D

 **angel**  
why is it that chan tells me not to talk to strangers, but then adds me to a gc with a bunch of strangers at 1 am?

 **twice fanboy**  
omg same

 **beach boi**  
in my defense…  
yeah i don’t have a good defense  
at least it’s not 1 am right now

 **changbin**  
yeah, that’s how time tends to work  
it doesn’t stay the same for very long

 **younger k**  
it keeps moving, forces us to keep moving…

 **changbin**  
always right behind you…

 **younger k**  
as soon as you stop, time will catch up…

 **changbin**  
that’s why you can never afford to stop…

 **beach boi**  
uuhh,,  
do you two need a moment?

 **changbin**  
wait jisung  
you were a music major, right?

 **younger k**  
yup

 **changbin**  
cool, i like making music  
wanna make a song together?

 **younger k**  
wait really

 **changbin**  
yeah  
don’t all the music majors have access to the music studios on campus?

 **younger k**  
that’s right  
so,,, you really wanna meet?

 **changbin**  
i mean, sure  
if you want to?

 **younger k**  
yeah!  
wait lemme switch over to private chat

 **beach boi**  
i-  
i was not expecting that  
this chat? a success  
my parenthood? validated  
binsung? friends in the making

 **myday**  
i love how that implies you had no expectations whatsoever for this group chat

 **beach boi**  
mayhaps i did not

 **la la llama**  
hey no fair  
i also wanna bond with people :(

 **twice fanboy**  
wait what was your major again?

 **la la llama**  
art!

 **twice fanboy**  
oh  
my artistic abilities only go as far as stick figures, i’m afraid :/  
sorry

 **la la llama**  
:/

 **beach boi**  
guys it’s been less than 24 hours since you were first introduced to each other  
no need to stress

 **twice fanboy**  
yeah, just go your own pace!

 **catdad**  
lmao  
wouldn’t it be hilarious if jisung and changbin meet and it’s a mess?

 **beach boi**  
i mean, i know what both their personalities are like on their own…  
i can’t imagine it’s gonna be any better when they’re together

 **myday**  
i sense some regret

 **beach boi**  
oh no, i don’t regret this! :)  
i want you to be friends!

 **twice fanboy**  
sounds exactly like what you would say if you really did regret this

 **angel**  
hmm, that’s true  
i don’t trust chan

 **beach boi**  
but you trust all these strangers?

 **angel**  
yes  
they’re in the same situation as me rn

 **twice fanboy**  
oh yes, let’s relate to each other because of what chan hyung did

 **beach boi**  
what did i do??

 **catdad**  
added us to a random gc  
forced friends  
forced social interaction  
the list goes on...

 **la la llama**  
i don’t actually mind social interaction

 **twice fanboy**  
same! i like people

 **catdad**  
i’m extroverted but i still don’t appreciate chan hyung forcing us together

 **beach boi**  
lowkey,,, i think you’re just salty that i called you a kid

 **la la llama**  
ooh  
catdad getting called OUT!

 **twice fanboy**  
do you just not remember his real name or…?

 **la la llama**  
.. yeah i really don’t

 **catdad**  
i’m minho and i’m leaving  
bye you little shits

 **beach boi**  
minho!  
that’s not how you make friends!

 **twice fanboy**  
i am felix and leaving!

 **angel**  
i jeongin leaving!

 **la la llama**  
hyunjin leave!

 **myday**  
…ok

 **beach boi**  
well,,, this is a mess  
i still don’t regret it though

 **myday**  
oh trust me hyung, the regret will set in soon

 **beach boi**  
that’s ominous, seungmin  
thanks for having faith in me :)

 **myday**  
i don’t

 **beach boi**  
clearly… :/

  
__

younger k, changbin [private chat]

_younger k_ set the chat name to **fwens?? *-***

**younger k**  
hi, it is i

 **changbin**  
yeah i can see that  
why is the chat name so weird?

 **younger k**  
do you not like it? :(

 **changbin**  
it’s disgusting, i actually love it

 **younger k**  
…you say it’s disgusting, but then say you love it  
how am i supposed to take that??

 **changbin**  
moving on!  
do you really wanna meet up?  
cause i was serious about that

 **younger k**  
oh!  
uuuuh, yeah  
i am terrified of strangers and will require ~15 minutes to have a mental breakdown first, but yeah! i wanna meet!

 **changbin**  
…i’m not sure if i should worry about that or just accept it and suggest that we meet by the music studios in 15 minutes

 **younger k**  
it’s a plan!

 **changbin**  
should i be worried about your mental breakdown?

 **younger k**  
hahhaha no  
i’ll see you soon hyung! :D

 **changbin**  
okay then  
see you!


	3. friends

**my children :’)**

**beach boi**  
so how did it go? :)

 **changbin**  
i like jisung, he’s fun  
we’re friends now

**younger k**  
yeah!  
watch out chan hyung!

**beach boi**  
…why am i mildly terrified by that idea…

**catdad**  
it’s only gonna get worse for you the more we all get to know each other

**twice fanboy**  
hey hey hey!  
we know that jisung looks like a squirrel and young k  
but what about changbin!  
jisung, you’re our intel now!

**beach boi**  
you do know that i’ve met everyone in this chat, right?  
you could ask me about anyone

**myday**  
we’ve collectively decided not to trust you

**twice fanboy**  
yeah,,, not after you yeeted us into a gc with a bunch of strangers at 1 am :/

**catdad**  
the correct past tense of yeet is yote, thank you very much  
but yeah he’s right

**beach boi**  
but wait  
those strangers are the other people in this gc  
why are you trusting the strangers, but not me?

**angel**  
don’t question our logic chan

**beach boi**  
but it is highly flawed!

**catdad**  
yeah, we know that

**myday**  
we just don’t care

**beach boi**  
ok.  
back to changbin then, i guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**younger k**  
okay!  
he’s shorter than me!

**changbin**  
i trusted you, jisung

**catdad**  
jisung are you short, or what? why is being shorter than you such a feat

**younger k**  
yes i am! but he’s still shorter! quite the accomplishment if you ask me

**changbin**  
by like a ceNTIMETER!  
stop bullying me like this

**younger k**  
all i did was state facts :/  
if you take it as bullying, that’s your personal problem

**twice fanboy**  
lmao

**beach boi**  
ohmygod i just had a vision of the future  
is this what it will be like when you guys start meeting each other?

**myday**  
yes, i thought we had already established that

**angel**  
this is about to get real chaotic

**beach boi**  
wdym “about to get”?  
i thought it already was

**younger k**  
lmaooo  
if you think this is chaotic, you’re gonna have to think again

**twice fanboy**  
thINK TWICE

**beach boi**  
suddenly i don’t like this :/  
but i like you all individually at least  
so you can take comfort in that

**catdad**  
i’ve tried to get chan hyung to block me before  
so far, i have not found the limit, but i will find it  
maybe now i will have another opportunity

**myday**  
why do you want chan hyung to block you?

**catdad**  
it seems impossible! he never blocks me, no matter what i say or do!  
i HAVE to get him to do it at least once

**younger k**  
ooh  
i will help you with your mission hyung!

**changbin**  
me too, i love annoying chan hyung

**catdad**  
thank you!

**angel**  
how do you even get blocked by chan?  
i’ve never seen him block anyone

**myday**  
actually now that i think about,,, me neither

**catdad**  
that’s exactly why i’ve made it my mission!  
what is the limit, christiano?  
how far do i have to go?

**changbin**  
that is a very logical question

**beach boi**  
have you maybe considered the fact that i don’t wanna block you?  
we’re friends  
why would i?

**myday**  
i block my friends on the daily

**changbin**  
maybe not on the daily, but i’ve done it too

**catdad**  
who hasn’t??

**myday**  
chan hyung, clearly

**angel**  
i haven’t blocked my friends either! :D  
but that’s just cause they haven’t annoyed me enough  
i’m definitely not against blocking them

**beach boi**  
but you’re just an Angel so it makes sense that you haven’t blocked anyone  
that might change after this gc though..

**catdad**  
are you saying we’re gonna get ourselves blocked by him? :o

**beach boi**  
yes, definitely  
not even angels have infinite patience

**younger k**  
i love how chan hyung has no faith in us at all  
not even the small things

**twice fanboy**  
he truly does not trust us, lol

**beach boi**  
i would trust you guys with my life  
however, i would not trust you guys alone in my apartment  
there’s a difference

**myday**  
at this point, is chan hyung the connecting link between us or is he the one thing preventing us from world destruction?  
cause i personally would love to see the world destroyed

**twice fanboy**  
i’  
are  
are you saying we should kick chan hyung out?

**angel**  
we can’t do that!

**beach boi**  
thank you innie!!

**angel**  
he’s the owner of the chat, we don’t have admin privileges so we can’t kick him!

**beach boi**  
…are you saying you would kick me out otherwise?

**la la llama**  
hey everyone i just danced for 3 hours and i feel Exhausted™!  
what’s going on rn? :p

**myday**  
we’re plotting against chan hyung!  
might kick him out of the chat if we figure out how

**la la llama**  
oh okay  
but can’t we just make a separate gc without him in it?  
also why don’t we want chan hyung here?

**beach boi**  
i hate the way you just phrased that  
as if you all share one mind

**twice fanboy**  
maybe we don’t, but we do share about 13 brain cells collectively!

**la la llama**  
brain cell distribution?

**catdad**  
it’s too early to figure that out, we don’t know each other well enough  
we’ll come back to it later

**beach boi**  
what even is this conversation  
why are you all so set on getting rid of me?

**myday**  
you are currently the only thing we have in common with each other

**beach boi**  
that,,, does not explain why you want me gOnE

**catdad**  
losing the one thing in this chat that’s familiar to us would be a great trauma for everyone here to bond over

**beach boi**  
but that trauma would be self-inflicted?  
considering you’d be the ones removing me from the group, i mean

**changbin**  
that’s true, but it doesn’t really matter

**beach boi**  
..o-kay  
then good luck, i guess

**twice fanboy**  
thanks! :)

**beach boi**  
:/  
but wait  
did changbin and jisung really have a successful meeting?  
did you make music together?

**changbin**  
yeah we actually did

**younger k**  
it was fun :D

**beach boi**  
woaaah  
can i hear what you made?

**younger k**  
yeah! wanna meet in the studio?

**changbin**  
all three of us?

**younger k**  
yeah why not!

**beach boi**  
oh okay!

**la la llama**  
woah, look at them go!  
their barely-existent friendship is already more successful than i am with any of my friends lmao

**myday**  
i’m sensing that you also want to make friends here

**la la llama**  
is it that obvious :(

**myday**  
i’m going to the library on campus to study rn  
you wanna join?

**la la llama**  
omg really

**myday**  
no i’m just messing w u  
YES really  
i’m leaving the dorms rn

**la la llama**  
wait i live in the dorms

**catdad**  
go over to private chat! we don’t wanna see you and your awkward attempts at making plans!

**myday**  
okay sure

  
__

**myday, la la llama [private chat]**

_la la llama_ set the chat name to study date? :O

**la la llama**  
we’re really meeting?

 **myday**  
y e s  
i can wait for you outside the dorms if you want

**la la llama**  
omg okay! i’m omw down!  
how will i know what you look like??

**myday**  
i will stare threateningly at everyone who passes  
also there’s no one else waiting here  
most people just walk by so i’m sure you’ll notice me standing still

**la la llama**  
oh okay yeah

**myday**  
wait, you’re an art major  
how does studying at the library help with that?  
i’m guessing you can’t exactly do your projects there..?

**la la llama**  
the library is a really chill place to go if i just wanna sketch some ideas  
but also  
art history is A Thing that also requires studying :/

**myday**  
ah i see, is that what you’re gonna work on today?

**la la llama**  
idk, i’m bringing my sketch pad so i can decide when we get there!  
by the way i’m jumping down the last staircase now!

**myday**  
don’t jump down the staircase, you’re gonna get hurt

**la la llama**  
no i’m not, i’m fine!  
gonna put my phone away now~~

**myday**  
k


	4. bonding

**my children :’)**

**beach boi**  
yesterday is a day that will go down in history  
for the first time in my life, i watched two of my sons interact  
and apparently hyunmin also met but i wasn’t there for that  
did it go well???

 **myday**  
we’re both still alive, so there’s that

 **la la llama**  
yes it went well! it was fun!

 **changbin**  
weren’t you at the library  
how fun can that really be?

 **la la llama**  
stop trash talking the library, it’s really nice!!  
bet you don’t even know where it is

 **changbin**  
i worked there my entire freshman year

 **la la llama**  
oh okay

 **beach boi**  
minho, felix, jeongin…  
you’re the only ones who haven’t met anyone else here now!

 **angel**  
what are you talking about chan?  
i’ve met you

 **beach boi**  
i meant one of the other chaos children :)

 **twice fanboy**  
oh yeah that sounds chaotic!  
i’d love to!

 **catdad**  
i wouldn’t

 **beach boi**  
if seungmin can, you can too  
don’t pretend to be cold

_twice fanboy_ changed their name to flix

**flix**  
can’t believe the same person who taught me not to talk to strangers is now encouraging me to talk to strangers  
smh

 **younger k**  
wow nice name!

 **flix**  
tenks :D

 **angel**  
i read that in the voice of that kid from the avacado vine

 **flix**  
omg really??  
that’s what i was thinking too!

 **beach boi**  
hey sorry to interrupt but minho  
minho please  
please stop

 **changbin**  
huh?

 **myday**  
what is he doing?

 **beach boi**  
sending me links to songs on spotify  
horrible songs

 **catdad**  
i have no regrets :)

 **younger k**  
ohh chan hyung hasn’t blocked you yet?

 **catdad**  
sadly, no  
i sent him a song with a bunch of moaning noises  
i think he’s just ignoring me now

 **beach boi**  
:)

 **changbin**  
i wanna try to help with getting chan hyung to block you!

 **younger k**  
me too!

 **catdad**  
ok

  
__

_catdad_ has added younger k and changbin to the group chat:  
**bang chan antis**

**catdad**  
here we go :)

_catdad_ changed their name to minho

**minho**  
it’s time to be serious

 **younger k**  
don’t hate me but i just misread your name as mango

 **minho**  
:/

 **changbin**  
…  
he says it’s time to be serious, then you say that  
also you should change your name, since we both have our real ones

 **minho**  
or so you think…

_younger k_ changed their name to han

**changbin**  
wAit wHat??  
and that goes to both of you  
have you been lying about your names ???

 **han**  
no  
people have surnames, hyung

 **minho**  
if i have been lying, then that’s not something i would tell you now  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **changbin**  
i-  
i’m not even gonna comment on that  
so how’s it going on your quest to get blocked by chan hyung?

 **minho**  
not good tbh  
it seems his patience is unmatched

 **han**  
he said himself that no one has infinite patience, so we just gotta find out what his limit is!

 **minho**  
easier said than done..

 **han**  
have you tried cowboys

 **changbin**  
has he tried WHAT now?

 **minho**  
cowboys???  
wtf do you even mean by that?  
do i just slide into his dm’s with some pics of a cowboy or what

 **han**  
wait are you trying to get him to block your number or your insta?

 **minho**  
either one would be fine?  
i don’t see what this has to do with cowboys though

 **han**  
just…  
cowboys, man  
yeehaw!  
call him the rootniest tootniest cowboy in the wildest entirest west

 **changbin**  
entirest isn’t a word

 **han**  
i know, but hyung likes correct grammar

 **minho**  
i am doubtful of this method, yet excited at the prospect of annoying chan hyung and playing cowboy  
i will return with the results of this shortly

 **han**  
okay hyung, take your time! :p

 **changbin**  
what the hell did i get into  
where did you even come up with c o w b o y s???

 **han**  
chan hyung, my dude, he has a strange past

 **changbin**  
w h a t

 **han**  
yeah.. :/

 **changbin**  
hey, now i need the full story!  
what kind of cowboys has he encountered? has he BEEN a cowboy??  
this is the greatest mystery since i lost my pet turtle back in 3rd grade!!!

 **han**  
omg hyung what happened to your pet turtle!! :O

 **changbin**  
turns out my sister moved it into her bathtub because she thought i wasn’t taking care of it well enough..

 **han**  
oof that’s rough  
couldn’t be me

 **changbin**  
but what about chan hyung’s past with cowboys??

 **han**  
hahhah you’ll have to ask hyung yourself :)

 **changbin**  
sounds ominous..

  
__

**my children :’)**

**changbin**  
chan hyung, what’s with you and cowboys?

 **minho**  
update!!!  
i just got blocked by chan hyung!!!

 **beach boi**  
i regret e v e r y t h i n g…

 **han**  
oh wow :o  
minho hyung what did you tell him? did it really work?

 **minho**  
yes! i just said yeehaw, then he said please stop, then i said the thing you told me to tell him

 **flix**  
what… did i miss?  
this sounds like prime entertainment!

 **la la llama**  
ohh yes! please feed us the drama!  
also when did your screen name become so boring?

 **minho**  
i had to be serious!!  
it was a very sensitive mission, so i had to change my name to fit the occasion

 **angel**  
okay okay, now tell us how you got chan to block you!  
and why changbin is asking about cowboys

 **flix**  
what did jisung tell you to tell him??

 **minho**  
“you are the rootniest, tootniest cowboy in the wildest entirest west”  
then he blocked me! :)

 **beach boi**  
Please Stop  
..wait  
did jisung put you up to this???

 **han**  
no hyung!  
he asked for help!  
i simply provided it!

 **beach boi**  
:/

 **han**  
chan hyung has some really embarrassing pictures from that time in middle school when he dressed up as a cowboy

 **minho**  
w h a t

 **changbin**  
you knew chan hyung in middle school?

 **han**  
yeah i’ve known him since i was like 5!  
we were neighbors!

 **la la llama**  
i thought chan hyung was australian

 **beach boi**  
i am, but i moved to korea  
clearly, since i’m here now

 **flix**  
yeah mate!

 **changbin**  
wait, are you also australian??

 **flix**  
yeah mate! :D  
that’s why chan hyung adopted me  
he found me lost on the subway

 **angel**  
wow, our backstories are being exposed

 **myday**  
but i mean,,, it’s a bit strange how chan hyung ended up “adopting” seven random kids  
or i don’t really know how he met the rest of you but it sounds weird

 **beach boi**  
it’s not like i just found felix on the subway and said he was my child!

 **flix**  
…isn’t that exactly what you did?

 **minho**  
hahahhah  
i like this chat

_minho_ set the chat name to **expose chan!**

**beach boi**  
i don’t like being the only thing you guys have in common…  
can you please find something else to bond over?  
something that doesn’t make my life miserable, preferably

 **flix**  
okay we’ll make a separate group chat for bonding

 **beach boi**  
wait what?  
no that’s not what i meant

  
__

_flix_ has added han to the group chat:  
**road work ahead?**

**han**  
uUUH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES!

 **flix**  
YESSS! FRIENDS??

 **han**  
YES!! <3

 **flix**  
<3  
so who else should we add to this gc?

 **han**  
man, idk  
wait weren’t we both born the same year?

 **flix**  
2000?

 **han**  
yeah! there were four of us in the gc chan hyung made!  
we should add the other two here!

 **flix**  
okay but who were they?

 **han**  
uuuh  
i only remember la la llama  
he’s the one who set the dorms on fire

 **flix**  
lmao okay

_flix_ has added la la llama to the group chat:  
**road work ahead?**

**la la llama**  
UUH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES!!

 **han**  
soulmates!!

 **flix**  
omg, another one!

 **la la llama**  
wait what is this?  
who’s gonna be in this group?

 **han**  
all the 2000 liners! there were four of us in chan hyung’s group!  
but we couldn’t remember who the fourth one was…

 **la la llama**  
oh i know!

_la la llama_ has added myday to the group chat:  
**road work ahead?**

**myday**  
uh, yeah, i sure hope it does

 **flix**  
SOUL

 **han**  
MATES

 **la la llama**  
oml, we’re gonna be insufferable in the big group chat after this!

 **myday**  
absolutely :)  
but what actually is this group?

 **flix**  
the 2000 liners! we were all born in the same year!  
same age friends!

 **han**  
woo yes!

 **la la llama**  
okay okay okay  
when are your birthdays then?  
i’m march 20th!

 **myday**  
september 22nd

 **han**  
really? mine is september 14th!

 **flix**  
are you fucking kidding me  
i was born september 15th

 **han**  
TWINS <3

 **flix**  
TWINS <3

 **la la llama**  
woaaah  
you truly are soulmates  
hey we should start setting people up from the gc!

 **myday**  
wdym

 **la la llama**  
obviously we haven’t met each other,,,  
but,,,  
it’s never too early to play matchmaker

 **flix**  
oh yeah you have a point!

 **han**  
uhh,,, how bout we don’t

 **myday**  
yeah same  
why would we?

 **flix**  
because it’s fun…?

 **la la llama**  
because of the drama…?

 **han**  
lmao  
half of the people from that gc are in this gc too, though  
and we can’t set each other up

 **myday**  
hmm... he has a point  
there are only four people left in that gc for us to set up  
and one of them is already in a relationship

 **flix**  
that leaves us with only three people to set up…

 **la la llama**  
sounds like a challenge, and i’m lazy  
let’s skip the matchmaking FOR NOW

 **myday**  
wow  
our first conversation, and we immediately start plotting against the others  
i look forward to seeing where this friendship goes

 **han**  
lol same

 **flix**  
lowkey,,, i feel bad for chan hyung  
wait  
i just remembered the time he ate the last of my icecream  
nvm, i don’t feel bad at all

 **la la llama**  
lmao  
good luck to him i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so now minbinsung have a gc together, and there's also a gc for 2000 line :) more chaos will come soon :)


	5. fun facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath of introducing 00 line to each other... also, SO many people change their names in this one, i'm about to be real confused next time

**expose chan!**

**beach boi**  
oh that’s right  
i forgot minho changed the name of this gc

 **changbin**  
omg this chat has been Dead for three days now…

 **minho**  
that’s what happens when you force a bunch of strangers into a room with each other  
we have nothing to talk about, other than exposing chan hyung

 **beach boi**  
then try asking each other some questions?  
start a normal conversation?  
seriously, it’s not that hard

 **la la llama**  
what the FUCK is UP kyle??

 **myday**  
no what’d you say??

 **flix**  
what the fuck dude

 **han**  
step the fuck up kyle!

 **beach boi**  
oh no…  
what have you four DONE

 **angel**  
ohh have you met each other?

 **flix**  
yes, and we also started a group chat together! :D

 **beach boi**  
and here i was, thinking minbinsung were gonna be my greatest enemies,,,  
turns out the 2000-line is what i should have been worried about all along

 **han**  
hyung i think you just mentioned the entire group  
minbinsung + 2000 line, that includes almost all of us...

 **angel**  
actually, yeah  
everyone except me!

 **beach boi**  
jeongin angel confirmed :/  
the funniest part of that is that you’re only an angel when it benefits you  
you’re equal parts angel and demon

_angel_ changed their name to angle

**angle**  
better?

 **flix**  
better

 **beach boi**  
…what

 **angle**  
well i can’t walk around with inaccurate branding  
therefore, i am rebranding  
i am now angle instead of angel!

 **beach boi**  
o-kay…

 **changbin**  
sooo  
did anyone else do anything fun while this gc was dead?

 **minho**  
other than serving the capitalistic system and reenforce oppressive modern day standards regarding the inequality of injustice, then no, not much

 **myday**  
that is so much bullshit in one sentence  
wow  
i’m lowkey impressed

 **angle**  
i… have no idea what that means

 **beach boi**  
don't worry about it innie  
it’s all bs, he just threw a bunch of fancy words together  
at least i think that’s what he did…?

 **minho**  
:)

 **changbin**  
uhm, okay hyung…  
anyone else?

 **la la llama**  
i learned something new!

 **beach boi**  
oh that’s good! what did you learn?

 **la la llama**  
i learned a fun fact!  
fun fact: the phrase “ignore it and it will go away” does not apply to the police!

 **minho**  
lmao

 **beach boi**  
that’s tHE OPPOSITE OF A FUN FACT  
NOW I’M STRESSED  
HYUNJIN WHAT HAPPENED???

 **la la llama**  
stop yelling hyung, i’m fine!

 **myday**  
i mean,,, he got arrested, but he’s fine otherwise

 **beach boi**  
wHAT

 **angle**  
how’d you get arrested  
sounds like you did something dumb

 **changbin**  
and why does the day6 stan know what you did?

 **myday**  
…did you forget my name

 **changbin**  
…maybe

 **myday**  
ok.

 **flix**  
hi guys i just had to send an email, i’m back now! :D  
wait  
are we talking about hyunjin’s arrest?

 **myday**  
yup!

 **beach boi**  
feLIX! yOU KNEW ABOUT THIS???  
i have never been more stressed in my life  
why did so many of you know about this?  
were you involved?

 **han**  
hyung you can relax! hyunjin wasn’t even drunk!

 **beach boi**  
wHAT

 **flix**  
yeah, and we didn’t take any drugs!

 **beach boi**  
WHAT

 **changbin**  
okay i know chan hyung is the parent of this chat but i’m also kinda worried now

 **minho**  
what actually happened?

 **flix**  
so, another fun fact  
the four of us met up for the first time yesterday!

 **beach boi**  
considering it ended in arrest, i’m not sure how fun that fact truly is…

 **la la llama**  
oh no no no! i didn’t actually get arrested!  
as they said, i wasn’t drunk so they didn’t have a reason to arrest me!

 **changbin**  
okay but what happened

 **myday**  
he got pulled over when driving but completely ignored the cops when they walked up to his window, since he was busy arguing with jisung

 **beach boi**  
…

 **minho**  
did you at least settle the argument

 **han**  
it wasn’t an argument! we were just discussing!

 **la la llama**  
it was just a friendly discussion!

 **mydad**  
sure jan

 **flix**  
*sure chan  
it rhymes with jan :)

 **la la llama**  
actually, we did settle it

_la la llama_ changed their name to mona lisa

**angle**  
what

_han_ changed their name to macaroni art

**changbin**  
isn’t this jisung’s fifth screen name or something since this chat was created??

 **macaroni art**  
hi and welcome to my strange addiction

 **mona lisa**  
you’re addicted to changing screen names?

 **macaroni art**  
yes :)

 **beach boi**  
…

_beach boi_ changed their name to father

**father**  
this seems more fitting after everything that has happened  
i’m too emotionally invested in this to NOT call myself father

 **minho**  
daddy...?

 **father**  
nO!!!  
please No!

 **flix**  
now seungmin is the only one who hasn’t changed his name since the beginning of this gc

 **myday**  
ok.

 **flix**  
:(

 **myday**  
ok.

 **angle**  
:(

 **myday**  
oHMYGOSH  
jeongin just sent me a pic of himself pouting in private chat!  
waaaah i give in

 **flix**  
you and jeongin have a private chat? :o

 **myday**  
no he literally made one just to send a pouting selfie

 **minho**  
lmao

 **angle**  
^-^

_myday_ changed their name to seungmo

**seungmo**  
i think we’ll all be confused enough by jisung and hyunjin, so i picked something easy to recognize

 **angle**  
oh, that is true,,,  
i will not remember who they are

 **mona lisa**  
:(

 **angle**  
…i was half joking but i genuinely don’t remember if you’re hyunjin or jisung

 **macaroni art**  
!!!

 **father**  
oh i think macaroni art is jisung

 **angle**  
how do you know

 **father**  
texting habits  
or texting styles? idk  
just the vibes i get

 **minho**  
cool power dude

 **father**  
don’t dude me, i’m your hyung!

 **minho**  
we are all jeongin’s hyungs, yet i have never seen him call anyone hyung  
not even once

 **angle**  
yeah that’s cause none of you have my respect, not even chan!

 **father**  
i’ve accepted it :/  
anyway guys  
don’t most of you have schoolwork to do? :)

 **changbin**  
what kind of psychopath do you have to be to add a smiley after the word homework?

 **angle**  
either a psychopath or a preschool teacher

 **father**  
…aren’t you studying to be a preschool teacher?

 **angle**  
that’s an off topic question  
also i think you’re just trying to get rid of us rn

 **father**  
so what if i am? :)

 **seungmo**  
then we’ll gladly go  
we have other group chats to talk in, anyway

 **father**  
…

  
__

**fwens?? *-***

**changbin**  
hey jisung

 **macaroni art**  
hi hyung!  
how are you?

 **changbin**  
…you do know we just talked in the other gc, right?  
but i’m good! a bit tired only  
actually, do you wanna hang out?

 **macaroni art**  
music studio again? :p

 **changbin**  
sure!  
wanna invite chan hyung?

 **macaroni art**  
yeah! :D  
wait didn’t he just tell us to do schoolwork?

 **changbin**  
…tEchnically, this would be schoolwork for you, since you’re a music major :)

 **macaroni art**  
lol but what about you then?

 **changbin**  
i’m,, helping you study!

 **macaroni art**  
lmao, sure :p  
let’s invite him!

 **changbin**  
oh we should make a gc just for us three

  
__

_changbin_ has added macaroni art and father to the group chat:  
**talantad misicians**

**father**  
uhm, did you mean to say talented musicians?  
also what is this group

 **changbin**  
we made music together a few days ago! it could happen again!  
hence, this new group chat!

 **father**  
okay :)  
but why did you have to spell talented musicians like that?

 **macaroni art**  
lmao  
my dyslexic ass didn’t even notice it was misspelled

 **father**  
…are you sure that’s related to your dyslexia and not just a side effect of you not really reading the gc name?

 **macaroni art**  
well you’ve got me there (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **changbin**  
for fun?? idk  
also i didn’t know you were dyslexic

 **macaroni art**  
please imagine that i’m staring at you with the most deadpan expression right now

 **changbin**  
oookay…?

 **father**  
i think what jisung is trying (and failing) to say is that you two are just getting to know each other  
for example, you don’t even know each other’s birthdays  
you’ll learn more each day :)

 **macaroni art**  
i lowkey got some parental vibes from that sentence

 **changbin**  
yeah same, it kind of terrified me

 **father**  
okay anyway  
did you want anything, or…?

 **macaroni art**  
meet us at the music studio rn? :)

 **father**  
sure :)


	6. CURSED

**expose chan!**

**father**  
i am SICK and TIRED of this chat name  
someone change it please i have no imagination

_seungmo_ set the chat name to **chan hyung go to sleep before 1 am challenge FAILED**

**macaroni art**  
doesn’t that mean you also failed the challenge, since you’re awake too?

 **seungmo**  
yeah but at least i don’t pretend that i have my life together  
you can’t disappoint if you don’t set any expectations :)

 **angle**  
words of wisdom

 **father**  
children! you should be asleep!

 **seungmo**  
^^ you hear that?  
that’s the sound of a hypocrite

 **father**  
offended, but not surprised :/

 **macaroni art**  
ohh, it’s the updated version of disappointed but not surprised!

 **angle**  
dead meme dead meme dead meme

 **macaroni art**  
that’s true, but chan hyung is a dead meme himself, soo…

 **angle**  
lmao i like that

 **seungmo**  
everyone liked that

 **father**  
…seriously  
can we have ONE (1) day when i’m not completely slandered in the gc?  
please?

 **seungmo**  
hmm, we’ll consider…

 **macaroni art**  
and the answer…

 **angle**  
is NO! :D

 **father**  
oh god  
are you three the only ones awake rn?

 **seungmo**  
seems like it

 **father**  
wow that’s pretty good! 4 out of 7 kids are sleeping (as they should be)!  
those statistics aren’t terrible

 **angle**  
on the other hand, 3 out of 7 of us are awake, which we should not be  
OR, 4 out of 8 if we count you too, which we should!  
that’s half of everyone in this group

 **seungmo**  
jeongin is right  
50% of us are awake, and those are bad statistics

 **macaroni art**  
this,,, is WAY too much math

 **angle**  
hahhaha i agree  
just had to prove chan hyung wrong

 **father**  
i love that you’re bonding, but i hate how you’re doing it

 **angle**  
bondage

 **father**  
wHAT THE FUCK INNIE

 **angle**  
you said bonding!

 **father**  
yes, as in connecting with people!  
making friends!  
NOT kinky sexual acts!

 **seungmo**  
oh wow, this took a turn…

 **macaroni art**  
lmao

 **angel**  
i swear i wasn’t trying to be kinky but you said bonding!

 **father**  
that has NOTHING with bondage to do!!!  
where did you even learn that word??

 **angle**  
chan, have you ever been on the internet?

 **macaroni art**  
ooh i’ve been on the dark web!

 **father**  
ji- wHAT

 **seungmo**  
how?? that’s so cool!

 **macaroni art**  
it was an accident!

 **angle**  
omg hyung can you show me?

 **father**  
innie NO!  
also  
why are you suddenly calling jisung hyung?

 **seungmo**  
probably because jisung has been insulting you ever since this conversation started

 **angle**  
seungmin hyung has a point

 **father**  
“hYunG”

 **angle**  
yeah so what?  
they’ve earned my respect :p

 **macaroni art**  
don’t worry chan hyung, i’m probably gonna lose it again within a day  
lmao

 **father**  
well at least you’re self-aware… :/  
can you please try to sleep

 **seungmo**  
who?

 **father**  
all of you  
i know we’re joking but you need SLEEP

 **macaroni art**  
okay hyung i’ll try :p

 **seungmo**  
yeah sure  
goodnight

  
__

angle, father [private chat]

_angle_ set the chat name to **hyungie ^.^**

**angle**  
hi hyungie!  
i hope you’re not actually offended when i try to offend you!  
anyway goodnight! <3

 **father**  
aaw innie,,,  
i’m not, i know it’s a joke, but you’re very sweet for wanting to make sure <3  
sleep well!

 **angle**  
you too ^-^

  
__

**chan hyung go to sleep before 1 am challenge FAILED**

**flix**  
gooood morning america!  
it’s another beautiful day  
another strange chat name

 **changbin**  
another weird way of saying good morning…

 **minho**  
another opportunity to annoy people

 **mona lisa**  
omg  
i think this is the first time a conversation was started by someone other than chan hyung!

 **angle**  
wait who are you again?

 **mona lisa**  
hyunjin

 **angle**  
ah okay  
but also, i think you’re right  
chan hyung always starts the conversations

 **flix**  
is this character development i see

 **seungmo**  
what are you on about?  
oh wait, you’re a writer  
character development, i get it

 **father**  
waaait,,, did jisung just say he’s been on the dark web???

 **seungmo**  
that was a long while ago, hyung… like 8 hours or smth

 **macaroni art**  
seungmin is right, i think we should forget about that :/

 **changbin**  
do you people never have classes  
how can everyone be online?

 **angle**  
i’m in class right now!

 **flix**  
so am i!

 **father**  
felix, you’re literally the one who started this conversation…  
w h y

 **flix**  
sorry daddy, i’ve been bad 😔🙏

 **father**  
CURSED!

 **seungmo**  
hate to do it, but chan hyung is absolutely right  
CURSED

 **minho**  
what’s up with everyone in this chat being so kinky?  
apparently jeongin talked abt bondage last night, and now felix with his daddy kink

 **changbin**  
please don’t talk about kinks in this gc…

 **mona lisa**  
my kink is when people are emotionally available and care about my feelings 🙏

 **macaroni art**  
oof, too much- settle for bondage and daddy kinks like the rest of us

 **mona lisa**  
:/

 **father**  
jeongin is right here…! he’s a child, please don’t taint him

 **minho**  
???  
if you know what we’re like and you wanna keep him pure, then why’d you add him here?

 **angle**  
hyung,,, i’m the one who mentioned bondage last night,,, how pure do you think i am

 **father**  
hush child  
go back to focus on your class

 **flix**  
does that apply to all of us?

 **father**  
is that really a question?  
of course it does!

 **mona lisa**  
but i’m not in class right now!  
ha!  
you can’t stop me!

 **father**  
hush child  
i’m too tired to deal with this gc right now  
bye little shits <3

 **minho**  
bye daddy

 **changbin**  
ohmygod, stop

 **minho**  
make me

 **changbin**  
…

 **minho**  
coward :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me two days ago: hmmm i definitely shouldn't post this skz secret agent au when i already have two ongoing fics, i'll wait until i've finished one of them
> 
> me yesterday: sIKE u thought!


	7. never gonna give you up

**chan hyung go to sleep before 1 am challenge FAILED**

_father_ set the chat name to **dead group chat?**

**father**  
so i just lost my phone for 7 days and ohmygosh i nearly dIED without it!!!  
but aside from that  
apparently this gc has been dead for an entire week?

 **seungmo**  
oh yeah  
without you here, we all just gave up

 **angle**  
lol

 **hyunjin**  
hyung it’s hard to talk to people you don’t know  
plus no one started any conversations

 **minho**  
you changed your name  
it’s boring now :/

 **hyunjin**  
uhh? but so is yours??

 **minho**  
stop defecting

 **father**  
do you mean deflecting?

 **minho**  
yes

 **father**  
cool  
did anyone else change their name while i was gone?

 **cleopatra**  
i did!

 **changbin**  
who are you?

 **the potato chip**  
so did i! we changed together!

 **seungmo**  
lmao

 **father**  
who are you two?  
wait, process of elimination  
it’s jisung & felix  
but who’s who?

 **cleopatra**  
good luck figuring that out ;)

 **father**  
okay, you’re jisung then

 **the potato chip**  
you sure about that? ;)

 **father**  
…i was so confident, since i’ve never seen felix wink over text  
but now i don’t know??

 **minho**  
hahaha i know who’s who 😏

 **changbin**  
how??

 **minho**  
you could know too if you just looked at the gc you, me & jisung have together  
you can see his screen name in that one

 **changbin**  
oh that’s smart!

 **father**  
i guess jilix will just be seen as one entity from now on

 **cleopatra**  
woo! that’s gonna be fun!

 **the potato chip**  
watch us screw it up in less than an hour, lmao

 **cleopatra**  
oh yeah,,, we’ll probably accidentally expose ourselves soon  
lol

 **father**  
ok now that that’s over with  
quick question  
does anyone care for this gc?

 **seungmo**  
what’d you mean hyung?

 **angle**  
yes i really like this place, it’s fun here!

 **father**  
oh okay  
i was asking so that you don’t feel forced to stay just because i added you here  
i know not all of you are comfortable with strangers

 **the potato chip**  
…”i’m in this picture and i don’t like it”

 **father**  
you’re jisung!

 **the potato chip**  
oh yeah i am  
expOsEd…!

 **father**  
yeah but i just want to know that no one feels uncomfortable here or anything  
not that i don’t like this gc!  
but i was just wondering since none of you talked in the past week…

 **cleopatra**  
we did though! me & jisung have a private chat

 **the potato chip**  
considering that we changed our names together, i think they may have figured that out…

 **cleopatra**  
oh right…

 **minho**  
nah chan, we’re just bad at starting conversations  
i like it here

 **changbin**  
me too  
plus, i’ve been talking to minho hyung & jisung in our other gc

 **angle**  
this chat has been dead but i’ve been messaging with hyunjin hyung and seungmin hyung!  
we’re friends now!

 **father**  
oH  
you’re actually making friends with each other  
wow  
my expectations? exceeded

 **changbin**  
your parenthood? validated

 **minho**  
all of us? friends in the making

 **father**  
…yeah  
but anyway, i’m glad you don’t hate each other :)

 **cleopatra**  
we’ll try harder to start conversations in the future!

 **the potato chip**  
uhh  
no offense to anyone here but i absolutely will not

 **father**  
ji that’s fine, you don’t have to!

 **angle**  
do you not like us jisung hyung? :(

 **the potato chip**  
no no i like you! but we don’t know each other super well yet!  
i had no problem when you were still strangers to me but now that i know everyone a bit better, i care a lot more about what you think of me so i can’t start a conversation without my social anxiety fucking shit up :)

 **cleopatra**  
…that smiley does not hide your vulnerability the way you think it does

 **the potato chip**  
are you sure lix? :)

 **angle**  
oh no you have social anxiety? :((

 **the potato chip**  
yeah, love that for me 🙃

 **angle**  
ahh :(((

 **changbin**  
you don’t have to be afraid to start conversations, nothing you say can be too weird when everyone else here is as weird as we are!

 **the potato chip**  
i appreciate you saying that hyung, but it doesn’t really stop my anxiety  
thanks though

 **minho**  
it’s okay jisung  
i’m extroverted and i still didn’t start a single conversation this past week, it’s not a big deal if you don’t feel like you can do it

 **hyunjin**  
exactly, i’m also extroverted and i didn’t either!

 **changbin**  
yeah same

 **cleopatra**  
me either

 **seungmo**  
true

 **angle**  
same!

 **the potato chip**  
omg, chan hyung really said “fuck jisung lives” and put me in a gc with seven extroverts!

 **father**  
…that was not what my thought process looked like when i made this chat  
but to be fair, i didn’t have much of a thought process in the first place

 **hyunjin**  
1 am really makes the best decisions

 **father**  
yeah,,,  
but i guess this chat is alive again now!

 **minho**  
resurrection is great

 **father**  
absolutely :)

  
__

**bang chan antis**

**the potato chip**  
We're no🙅 strangers👥 to love❤️  
You know🤓 the rules📖 and so do I  
A full💯 commitment's🔗 what❓I'm thinking🤔 of  
You wouldn't🚫 get this👅 from any other👬 guy🚷  
I just wanna tell🗣you how🤷 I'm feeling😚  
Gotta make you😅 understand😧  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃 around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 say💬 goodbye👋  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 tell🗣 a lie🤐 and hurt you😭  
We've known🤓 each other👭 for so long📆  
Your heart's❤️ been aching💔 but you're too shy😣 to say💬 it😶  
Inside🐀 we both👭 know🤓 what's🤷 been going on🤔  
We👭 know🤓 the game🎮 and we're gonna play🎭 it  
And if you ask💬 me how🤷 I'm feeling😚  
Don't🙅 tell me🗣 you're too blind🙈 to see👀  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃 around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 say💬 goodbye👋  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 tell🗣 a lie🤐 and hurt you😭  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃 around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 say💬 goodbye👋  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 tell🗣 a lie🤐 and hurt you😭  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give, never🙅 gonna give💁  
(Give💁 you up👆)  
(Ooh) Never🙅 gonna give💁, never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁  
(Give💁 you up👆)  
We've known🤓 each other👭 for so long📆  
Your heart's❤️ been aching💔 but you're too shy😣 to say💬 it😶  
Inside🐀 we both👭 know🤓 what's🤷 been going on🤔  
We👭 know🤓 the game🎮 and we're gonna play🎭 it  
I just wanna tell🗣 you how🤷 I'm feeling😚  
Gotta make you😉 understand🤓  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃 around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 say💬 goodbye👋  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 tell🗣 a lie🤐 and hurt you😭  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃♂️ around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 say💬 goodbye👋  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 tell🗣 a lie🤐 and hurt you😭  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 give💁 you up👆  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 let you down👇  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 run🏃 around⭕️ and desert🌵 you  
Never🙅 gonna🚫 make you cry😪  
haha anyway  
goodnight hyungs! ❤️

  
__

**changbin**  
holy shit how long did that take you?  
wait…  
you sent that today at 5 am

 **minho**  
as much as i appreciate the very romantic gesture, i’m also wondering how long that took

 **the potato chip**  
ahhah not too long!  
i copy pasted the lyrics

 **changbin**  
and the emojis?

 **the potato chip**  
...maybe 30 minutes? ish?

 **minho**  
oh no  
please don’t tell me you’re another chan hyung

 **the potato chip**  
i’m a what

 **minho**  
another chan hyung

 **the potato chip**  
uh, no  
i have no idea what you mean by that, but i’m not chan hyung

 **minho**  
then why were you awake at 5 am?

 **the potato chip**  
OH! you meant that  
i usually sleep well, yesterday was just a special occasion  
i swear i normally have a better sleep schedule than chan hyung

 **changbin**  
that’s a low standard but okay

 **the potato chip**  
you get my point!

 **minho**  
why was yesterday a special occasion?

 **the potato chip**  
i tried to work on an assignment before going to bed and then i got stressed and couldn’t sleep :)

 **changbin**  
wait  
so you were up until 5 am?  
and it’s 9 am now

 **minho**  
yeah he has a point  
how much sleep did you get?

 **the potato chip**  
enough not to faint on the way to my first lecture

 **changbin**  
please go home and sleep

 **the potato chip**  
okay so, first i was gonna text the big gc, the one with all eight of us?  
but then i figured chan hyung would be disappointed that i didn’t sleep

 **minho**  
he wouldn’t be disappointed because of that!  
but he would be disappointed that you didn’t tell him immediately so he could help you

 **changbin**  
hyung makes a good argument

 **the potato chip**  
yeah yeah  
but then i also remembered that there are too many people in that gc and my anxiety was already bad  
so i texted you two instead!

 **changbin**  
…does this lead to you going back to your dorm to sleep?  
cause if not, i’m not sure i want you to keep talking  
no offense

 **the potato chip**  
hyung! i don’t have a reason to tell you this!  
but no i’m not going back to the dorm

 **minho**  
i haven’t even met you before but if you don’t go home, i will find you and force you

 **the potato chip**  
no hyung it’s fine, i’ll just crash in the music studio  
i’m omw there right now  
they have a couch

 **minho**  
okay then  
have you eaten?

 **the potato chip**  
eaten what  
OH  
you’re asking if i’ve had food, like, in general  
oh right  
yeah uhh no

 **changbin**  
…was that a no?

 **the potato chip**  
yeah, no  
no food :)

 **minho**  
changbin, you know where the music studios are, right?

 **changbin**  
yeah  
should we meet by the chinese place right off campus?

 **minho**  
sounds good  
i can be there in 5

 **changbin**  
me too

 **the potato chip**  
uhh,,, What

 **minho**  
jisung, what chinese food do you like?

 **the potato chip**  
uuuuh anything is fine

 **minho**  
great! :)

 **the potato chip**  
…What Just Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i started watching big time rush again yesterday and i've decided to give up kpop to become a full-time btr stan 😔🙏  
> sorry jisung, my ult bias is now logan from btr 😛


	8. welcome to the circus

**dead group chat?**

**cleopatra**  
how to flirt with cute boy?

 **father**  
what

 **cleopatra**  
oh shit  
sorry wrong chat!

 **father**  
…what

  
__

**road work ahead?**

**cleopatra**  
new group chat, same question:  
cute boy, how to flirt?

 **the potato chip**  
throw milkshake

 **hyunjin**  
shake ass

 **seungmo**  
send meme

 **cleopatra**  
wow  
thanks everyone  
if that’s how you usually flirt, i truly have no idea why you’re all still single

 **hyunjin**  
how do you know we’re single?? :o

 **cleopatra**  
…just a hunch

 **the potato chip**  
okay i’m sorry but d e t a i l s please  
cute boy who? where??

 **cleopatra**  
…his whole body?

 **the potato chip**  
i didn’t mean where is he cute  
i meant where is he? where are you rn??  
and who is he?

 **cleopatra**  
oh!  
i dunno

 **seungmo**  
you don’t know?

 **cleopatra**  
yeah! i’ve never met him before!  
but i’m at the campus cafe!

 **hyunjin**  
wait omg! jeongin is there too right now!  
i know because he told me in private chat lol, i swear i’m not a stalker

 **cleopatra**  
omg wow!

  
__

**the world’s best potato chip [private chat]**

**cleopatra**  
hahah i had to switch over here for privacy  
what if jeongin is the cute boy??

 **the potato chip**  
how many others are in the cafe?

 **cleopatra**  
based on my pretty horrible estimating skills, maybe 20 people?

 **the potato chip**  
in that case it’s pretty statistically improbable for him to be your cute boy!  
trust me, i only failed math once!

 **cleopatra**  
no fair i failed it twice :(  
but yeah  
okay yeah  
you have a point  
it’s only 1 in 20

 **the potato chip**  
unless there are girls there

 **cleopatra**  
what

 **the potato chip**  
yeah  
we know jeongin is a boy  
so if there are 10 girls and 10 boys in the cafe, then the chance of him being your cute boy is 1 in 10 instead of 1 in 20

 **cleopatra**  
wHAT

 **the potato chip**  
yeah, it’s just math?  
what’s the big surprise

 **cleopatra**  
thERE ARE ONLY TWO OTHER BOYS HERE

 **the potato chip**  
…oh  
well then  
in that case, the chance of him being your cute boy is 50%!  
i no longer have any words of comfort for you!  
good luck lix!

 **cleopatra**  
okay this is not a big deal  
we’ve talked in the group chat  
chan hyung called him an angel

 **the potato chip**  
chan hyung also called him a demon

 **cleopatra**  
i’m just gonna go up and ask if he’s jeongin!

 **the potato chip**  
…what

 **cleopatra**  
yeah  
bye jisung!

 **the potato chip**  
no no wait  
what if he thinks you’re stalker or something?  
you could get punched in the face  
aaand you’re gone  
ok  
good luck ig

  
__

**dead group chat?**

**angle**  
GUYS help! i’m being chased by an insane person!!!

 **the potato chip**  
i promise it’s not like that!

 **father**  
…jisung, are you chasing jeongin right now?

 **the potato chip**  
NO!

 **angle**  
omg it’s a stranger then  
i’m gonna die

 **the potato chip**  
no no it’s not that bad! you know him!

 **angle**  
i liteerally don’t!!

 **minho**  
aaand this is exactly why i haven’t left this gc yet  
this is the epitome of entertainment right here

 **changbin**  
wait are you really being chased by some random guy right now??

 **angle**  
yes!

 **the potato chip**  
no!

 **father**  
…i hope you realize that those two answer are kinda contradictory  
jisung, since you seem to know the most here, can you explain what’s going on?

 **the potato chip**  
jeongin you can stop running, it’s just felix!

 **hyunjin**  
wait what  
jeongin is his cute boy??

 **angle**  
i’m his wHAT now???  
i’ve never met him before in my LIFE  
but okay, i stopped running

 **cleopatra**  
jeongin :((

 **angle**  
hyung did you really just chase me out of that cafe

 **cleopatra**  
yeah maybe  
but i lost you, where are you now?

 **angle**  
still on campus  
halfway to the dorms  
was trying to escape you  
am out of breath  
0/10 would not do again

 **seungmo**  
felix what did you DO???  
and why did jisung know  
did you two switch over to private chat after telling us in the 00 line chat?

 **the potato chip**  
yeah, lix was worried hyunjin would tell jeongin that felix saw him or smth

 **changbin**  
…as someone who’s not really involved in this situation, i’m having a pretty hard time understanding what that sentence is trying to say

 **hyunjin**  
really? i think it’s pretty clear

 **father**  
for you, maybe  
you were there  
the rest of us have no idea what’s happening :/

 **cleopatra**  
JEONGIN I SEE YOU NOW!

 **angle**  
okay, i promise i won’t run away again

 **father**  
case in point^^

 **minho**  
it seems felix saw a cute boy in a cafe and decided to tell their 2000 liner group chat, then he found out jeongin was in the cafe and instead started talking in his and jisung’s private chat  
then he tried to approach the cute boy (jeongin), who freaked out, and then felix chased him to wherever they are right now  
is that right?

 **cleopatra**  
…uhh, yeah that’s pretty spot on actually

 **angle**  
did you just use all 13 of our brain cells for that??

 **hyunjin**  
if there is a 2000 line, we should have other lines as well  
i suggest a brain cell line!

 **the potato chip**  
who would be in that line?

 **hyunjin**  
the ones with brain cells!

 **seungmo**  
error, no results were found  
did you mean: the ones without brain cells  
cause that’s all of us

 **hyunjin**  
absolutely hilarious seungminnie :/  
but no, i think some of you might be smart!  
minho hyung for example

 **cleopatra**  
seungmin is also smart

 **father**  
actually, i think all of you are smart  
just not always in the most conventional ways

 **hyunjin**  
okay so, brain cell line:  
minho hyung, seungmin, and chan hyung!

 **father**  
that time i watched minho try to stack water bottles from the floor to the ceiling at 4 am would like to disagree,,, :/

 **changbin**  
he did WHAT

 **father**  
he filled water bottles with water and tried to stack them all the way to the ceiling  
mind you, he didn’t close the lid on any of them  
when they inevitably fell down, we had a flood in our room

 **the potato chip**  
you live together??

 **father**  
we used to share a dorm and then we got an apartment together after i graduated!  
i only regret it occasionally

 **minho**  
hyung, you’re forgetting the best part  
the gatorade!

 **father**  
oh that’s right  
you had 9 water bottles and 1 bottle of gatorade  
our living room smelled like chemical sugar for wEEKS after that incident…

 **seungmo**  
cool story bro

 **angle**  
update: felix hyung has freckles and i can’t believe he didn’t share this with me earlier

 **seungmo**  
he has wHAT  
i didn’t know that

 **hyunjin**  
we’ve met him, why didn’t we know??!

 **cleopatra**  
makeup is A Thing™

 **angle**  
:(

 **cleopatra**  
ohmYGOSH HE’S POUTING AT ME IRL  
IT’S TOO MUCH FOR MY WEAK HEART TO HANDLE

 **angle**  
maybe you should’ve thought about that before hiding this info from us all!

 **father**  
well,,, i’m glad you two have met now  
does that mean minho is the only one who hasn’t met anyone else in this gc in real life?

 **minho**  
nope

 **father**  
really? who else?

 **minho**  
no one…?

 **father**  
waaait  
are you saying you’ve met one of the other kids? who???

 **changbin**  
:)

 **seungmo**  
minho hyung has met changbin??

 **the potato chip**  
:)

 **hyunjin**  
AND jisung???

 **minho**  
yeah, that seems to be the case  
we met up two days ago  
had a fight in the e-mart parking lot

 **changbin**  
he’s literally lying omg he was so soft  
also we were in a music studio, not a parking lot

 **father**  
minho? being soft?? sounds fake  
or actually not, but him openly being soft with someone he’s never met before?  
THAT sounds fake

 **minho**  
oh my gosh, all i did was get food for them

 **the potato chip**  
both of you got takeout for all of us without anyone asking for it!  
and then you brought it to the studio!  
and yeah changbin hyung is right, you were really soft

 **changbin**  
do you mean physically or emotionally?

 **cleopatra**  
phYsiCaLLy

 **the potato chip**  
both!

 **changbin**  
ah, okay  
i was just asking cause i know you fell asleep on his lap

 **the potato chip**  
yeah,,, that was Soft

 **minho**  
:/

 **cleopatra**  
omg minho hyung  
that smiley does not hide your inner Soft Boi™  
you’ve been exposed now!

 **father**  
okay but minho is honestly not as edgy as he tries to be

 **changbin**  
i mean,,, the first thing he did when we met was insult my face, but yeah  
Soft Boi™

 **seungmo**  
fake edgy boi

 **father**  
you insulted his face? :/

 **changbin**  
yeah, and jisung sent us both the full lyrics to “never gonna give you up” at around 5 am  
which led to him being sleep deprived, which is what led to us going to get food and visiting the studio

  
__

**minho, father [private chat]**

**minho**  
omg i was trying to flirt  
how do i say “sorry for offending your face, i was trying to flirt” without actually saying that i wanted to flirt with him???

 **father**  
…

  
__

**the potato chip, father [private chat]**

**the potato chip**  
i don’t think they understand what a romantic gesture that was!

 **father**  
sending them the lyrics to “never gonna give you up” at 5 am on a school day,,, is a romantic gesture??

 **the potato chip**  
uh, yes?  
everyone knows that

  
__

**dead group chat?**

**father**  
i pray to whoever is up there that changbin knows how to flirt  
seriously  
otherwise there’s no hope for these idiots

 **changbin**  
what…?

 **father**  
don’t worry about it binnie

_changbin_ changed their name to binnie

**cleopatra**  
wait,,, did jisung just say he sent them the lyrics to never gonna give you up???

 **the potato chip**  
yeah i did 😔🙏

 **cleopatra**  
omg i would marry you on the spot

 **the potato chip**  
soul…?

 **cleopatra**  
mates! <3

 **seungmo**  
i-  
i am? disGUSTED

 **angle**  
the word “disgusted” implies that there’s a word: “gusted”  
it’s the opposite of DISgusted

 **hyunjin**  
ohh!

 **binnie**  
…what has this conversation come to?  
i am so confused

 **minho**  
well, this certainly isn’t a dead group chat anymore

_minho_ set the chat name to **welcome to the circus**

**father**  
fitting, minho

 **minho**  
thanks  
i know :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in conclusion, this is how you flirt: throw milkshake, shake ass, send meme. maybe not in that order.


	9. dicksucker69

**welcome to the circus**

**cleopatra**  
ajkdhsdhflkj  
SEUNGMIN!!!

 **father**  
oh no, what happened this time?

 **hyunjin**  
i told him he shouldn’t do it, but he still did!  
his teacher is mad now!

 **seungmo**  
haha i would do it again

 **angle**  
omg what happened?

 **seungmo**  
i handed in a project and then my teacher emailed me a few questions about it, so i responded, and then she emailed me back and asked the same question again

 **hyunjin**  
this is the part i told him he shouldn’t do

 **seungmo**  
so i replied with “it’s amazing that you can write when you can’t even read!”

 **father**  
sEUNGMIN…!

 **seungmo**  
it was a compliment!  
i was impressed that she could write emails so well when she clearly wasn’t reading my response!  
i also attached a picture of aloe vera

 **hyunjin**  
…why

 **seungmo**  
for the burn

 **the potato chip**  
LMAO

 **minho**  
woah  
you are the kind of student i aspire to be

 **father**  
minho… do i have to expose you again?  
bc you already are that kind of student

 **minho**  
only to the teachers who deserve it

 **seungmo**  
same here  
i wouldn’t have done that to a teacher i like

 **cleopatra**  
woah, imagine having the cOnfidEnce!

 **the potato chip**  
lmao, couldn’t be me

 **cleopatra**  
but on an unrelated note: i have adopted jeongin :)

 **angle**  
…

 **father**  
you can’t adopt your brother! i’ve already adopted both of you!

 **cleopatra**  
hA  
you can’t stop me!

 **angle**  
…do i get a say in this?

 **cleopatra**  
nope!!

 **angle**  
but can someone else at least co-adopt me?  
i don’t trust lix hyung that much :/

 **cleopatra**  
uhh excUSE me!!! i’m the most responsible!!!

 **angle**  
you tried to KILL me yesterday!

 **seungmo**  
first of all, it wasn’t yesterday  
second, he was just chasing you

 **the potato chip**  
i wanna co-adopt jeongin with you lixie!

 **cleopatra**  
yay! :D  
i was gonna suggest we get matching names for this special occasion but then i realized we already match

 **binnie**  
how,,, does cleopatra,,, match with a potato chip?

 **hyunjin**  
not just any potato chip, hyung  
THE potato chip

 **minho**  
is that supposed to make a difference?

 **cleopatra**  
uncultured :/

 **father**  
what kind of family dynamics-...  
jisung, you haven’t even met jeongin yet

 **angle**  
oh that’s right!  
jisung hyung do you wanna meet?

 **cleopatra**  
ooh a family outing! :D

 **the potato chip**  
he’s the only one in this chat i haven’t met  
YES i wanna!  
i’m gonna win then

 **binnie**  
win what?

 **the potato chip**  
the unofficial competition: who can meet everyone in this gc first!

 **cleopatra**  
omg nooo

 **angle**  
okay cool! :)  
are you free rn hyung?

 **the potato chip**  
yup :D

 **minho**  
oh wow it’s like a little sunshine family  
they all use :D way too much

 **the potato chip**  
felix should come too, so it’s a real family outing

 **angle**  
oh wow, i can’t believe i’m meeting my new parents today!

 **father**  
…if this makes me your grandfather, i’m resigning

 **hyunjin**  
bold of you to assume you get to leave  
also, you’re already a boomer :)

 **father**  
…

 **seungmo**  
please change your name to boomer!  
that would be so much fun

 **minho**  
ohh yes, i support this!

 **father**  
the things i do for these kids :/

_father_ has changed their name to boomer

**boomer**  
happy?

 **seungmo**  
oh yes, definitely!

_angle_ changed their name to child

**boomer**  
the sECOND i change my name from father, you suddenly wanna be child  
this is homophobic :/

 **minho**  
chan when faced with the slightest inconvenience: this is homophobic :/

 **boomer**  
minho,,,  
you do the exact same thing

 **minho**  
no i don’t! that statement is homophobic!  
on an unrelated note  
how mad would you be if i changed my name to dicksucker?

 **boomer**  
like, your legal name or your screen name?  
cause i don’t think that would be accepted as a real name

 **minho**  
yeah no, i meant as a screen name

 **the potato chip**  
dicksucker69

 **minho**  
see, this guy gets it!  
that looks real good

_minho_ changed their name to dicksucker69

**boomer**  
nO STOP  
please

 **seungmo**  
well… this group chat is certainly alive  
glad to see you’re all thriving

 **binnie**  
i hope jeongin, felix & jisung are at least having a good time rn  
the rest of us seem to be doomed

 **child**  
you know it! :)

 **boomer**  
good, i’m glad to hear  
for your own sake, i advise you to avoid his gc as much as possible  
have a nice family outing!

 **cleopatra**  
ty hyung ^.^

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

**hyunjin**  
is your IQ decided by how many brain cells you have?

 **child**  
…what

 **seungmo**  
no, it's not

 **hyunjin**  
really?  
are you sure?

 **cleopatra**  
but wait, i thought so too!  
doesn't IQ 143 mean that you have 143 brain cells?

 **boomer**  
no, it doesn't...

 **dicksucker69**  
i pity whoever lives with only 143 brain cells

 **the potato chip**  
the average human has about a hundred billion brain cells!

 **cleopatra**  
woah, how do you know? :o

 **the potato chip**  
i just googled it :)  
it’s not like i would just walk around with that information in my head

 **boomer**  
jisung… your knowledge is so damn selective, i wouldn’t be surprised if you DID walk around knowing that

 **the potato chip**  
wdym, selective knowledge???

 **boomer**  
okay i’m gonna show you what i mean  
jisung, tell me what you know about anglerfish

 **the potato chip**  
they reproduce by a male latching onto a female with his sharp teeth, then he just hangs there until he physically fuses with her and becomes part of her skin and bloodstream!  
one female usually has more than six males on her!

 **child**  
omg that’s so cool!

 **seungmo**  
is it true?

 **boomer**  
yeah i think so  
now tell me jisung, where can you find anglerfish?

 **the potato chip**  
idk, the ocean????

 **boomer**  
see?  
you know how they reproduce, but not basic info such as where they live!

 **binnie**  
selective knowledge

 **boomer**  
it’s even funnier when you have all this detailed information about something, but when i ask you a basic question, like “what’s that animal called?” you have no idea even though you just gave me a detailed description of how it catches its prey or smth

 **the potato chip**  
it be like that sometimes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **cleopatra**  
lmao, love that  
feel free to send me useless facts whenever you want ji

 **the potato chip**  
i hope you understand what you’re signing up for, lix

 **cleopatra**  
sure! i love useless information!  
you can send it to me whenever you want

 **boomer**  
You Will Regret Saying That :)  
haha anyway, have a good day kiddos, i gotta go!  
i have a date with my boyfriend

 **dicksucker69**  
ohh sexy times ;)

 **binnie**  
i see minho hyung is living up to his username

 **boomer**  
i shouldn’t have expected anything else :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skz let chan live in peace challenge FAILED!


	10. are you okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minho talks about his homophobic parents this chapter, and quotes some of the things they've said so be aware of that before reading this. <3

**bang chan antis**

**dicksucker69**  
wooooo, i love getting death threats from my parents! it really makes my day!

 **binnie**  
wHAT

 **the potato chip**  
hyung are you okay???

 **dicksucker69**  
oh shit i thought this was my private chat w chan hyung  
please ignore that

 **binnie**  
sorry but did you just say DEATH THREATS?

 **dicksucker69**  
don’t mind that, it’s not a big deal  
ahh this chat name is confusing

_dicksucker69_ set the chat name to **minbinsung**

**binnie**  
hyung what happened?

 **the potato chip**  
of course you don’t have to tell us if you don’t wanna, but we’ll listen  
and also you’re getting me kinda scared

 **dicksucker69**  
i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you

 **the potato chip**  
no no it’s okay!  
but are you okay???

 **dicksucker69**  
sorry, i can’t handle vulnerability  
please wait 3-5 business days for a response

 **binnie**  
hyung, i swear i care about you a lot, but i can’t take you seriously with that name…

 **dicksucker69**  
oh woops

_dicksucker69_ changed their name to minhoe

**binnie**  
not much better, but sure  
so,, are you okay?

 **minhoe**  
i already replied to that question  
vulnerability isn’t my thing

 **the potato chip**  
it’s ok hyung!

 **minhoe**  
…did you just dm me a cat video on insta?

 **binnie**  
jisung, you know his insta?

 **the potato chip**  
uhh,,,  
i may or may not have harassed chan hyung into giving me minho hyung’s @

 **minhoe**  
oh  
why are you sending me cat videos?

 **the potato chip**  
to help you feel better!

 **binnie**  
how… are you… so pure??  
also that’s smart  
hyung, do you like it?

 **minhoe**  
yeah  
thanks ji

 **the potato chip**  
i have more if you want!

 **minhoe**  
that would be nice  
thank you

_binnie_ changed their name to changbitch

**minhoe**  
binnie,,, why?

 **changbitch**  
if you're gonna be self-deprecating, then so am i  
now we match!

 **the potato chip**  
omg  
a true genius

_the potato chip_ changed their name to jisuck

**jisuck**  
now we all match!

 **minhoe**  
we all look like we hate ourselves now  
alternatively, we all look like playboys

 **changbitch**  
you’re the one who changed first, hyung

 **minhoe**  
i was gonna say something edgy about not liking myself, but you’re both being very sweet rn so i’m not gonna

 **jisuck**  
calling yourself a hoe isn’t nice :((  
are you sure you don’t wanna change it again?

 **minhoe**  
…no, cause we match now

 **changbitch**  
woah,,, Wholesome

 **jisuck**  
all our names are literally the opposite of Wholesome but ok

 **minhoe**  
sorry for changing the topic again but ji  
do you ever regret telling us about your social anxiety?

 **jisuck**  
wdym hyung?

 **minhoe**  
dunno  
i mean, i guess we’re friends now but we’re still not the closest  
doesn’t it feel weird to be so vulnerable with people you’ve only met a few times?

 **jisuck**  
i mean, yeah, but i knew i was gonna tell you about it eventually  
and all of you are good people so i figured you wouldn’t have bad reactions  
besides, it kinda affects how i interact with you so i felt the need to say it early in case i go m.i.a at some point

 **changbitch**  
the way to get closer to people is by being vulnerable

 **minhoe**  
yeah,,,  
okay then  
here’s what happened

 **changbitch**  
you really don’t have to tell us if you don’t wanna!  
it’s okay to go slow!

 **minhoe**  
yeah but i wanna, i was just nervous

 **jisuck**  
it’s ok hyung! we’ll listen  
or read, but like… same thing

 **minhoe**  
okay  
well my parents aren’t the most accepting  
i’m not very big on labels so i never felt the need to come out to them, for a long time i just avoided the topic of dating  
then i came home with a boyfriend in my senior year of high school and they freaked

 **changbitch**  
what do you mean freaked?

 **minhoe**  
after sending him home, they started ranting about bad life choices and religious values and how i was ruining my life  
i pretended to listen, and after that i just never talked about my love life with them again  
me & my boyfriend broke up and then i moved out when i started college

 **changbitch**  
you moved in with chan hyung, right?

 **jisuck**  
oh that’s right, i think you mentioned that

 **minhoe**  
yeah  
he literally introduced himself to me as “a pansexual disaster” so i figured he couldn’t be very homophobic  
not that i’m homosexual  
i’m just  
uhh  
not straight?  
yeah

 **jisuck**  
it’s fine not to have a label  
i mean it’s cool if you find something that fits, but even if you don’t that’s okay too!

 **minhoe**  
yeah so that’s my backstory  
and today my parents apparently saw some instagram posts of me and one of my past partners  
they’re agender and so my parents had some questions  
i told them the person wasn’t a boy or a girl and they got mad at me for some reason

 **changbitch**  
i’m so sorry hyung  
if you don’t wanna tell us it’s okay, but what did they say?

 **minhoe**  
“make up your mind about what you like already” “stop doing things you’ll regret later” “don’t associate with people like that”

 **jisuck**  
i don’t know what to say except that sucks  
i wish you had more supportive parents, hyung :((

 **minhoe**  
and when i tried to tell them that i’m also a bit “like that”, is when the death threats started  
not that i think they were actually serious  
but they said shit like “you need to start acting normal, or you’re gonna end up dead in a ditch somewhere” “we don’t want you to get any diseases just because you can’t behave”

 **changbitch**  
hyung,,, can we come over and hug you  
also, if those were messages they sent, you should screenshot them as evidence and then delete them  
you shouldn’t keep seeing them

 **minhoe**  
how can i both delete them and save them?

 **changbitch**  
send them to me or jisung, or to chan hyung and we’ll save it for you just in case  
but you shouldn’t have those kind of messages where you’ll see them again

 **jisuck**  
hyung is right, that’s not good for you

 **minhoe**  
you’re not wrong but i really don’t think you’ll want that on your phones, either

 **changbitch**  
i would, send them to me  
unless you’re uncomfortable with me seeing?

 **minhoe**  
no no, it’s not that, but i don’t want you to have to deal with that negativity  
it’s rude and if you’re not straight (which idk if you are but…) i don’t want their words to get to you

 **changbitch**  
hyung just send them to me, i can deal with it  
i promise it doesn’t affect me

 **minhoe**  
okay…

 **jisuck**  
so can we come over and hug you?  
unless you’d rather be alone?

 **minhoe**  
i’m in my apartment  
do you know the address

 **changbitch**  
i have chan hyung’s address and you live with him, so

 **jisuck**  
yeah same  
i’ve broken in there at least a few times

 **minhoe**  
you’ve done WHAT now?

 **jisuck**  
uuuuuh  
that’s a story for another time  
we’re coming over to hug you now!

 **minhoe**  
okay  
thanks  
i really appreciate you both

 **changbitch**  
it’s really no problem hyung

 **jisuck**  
and we appreciate you too <3


	11. autocorrect

**welcome to the circus**

**cleopatra**  
as a part off my ongoing battle with autocorect, i have desided to turn it off on my phone :)  
every mispelling from know on is my own and i take full responsibililililiility for it :)

 **jisuck**  
it’s cool bro!  
i probably won’t even notice your misspellings, lmao

**minhoe**  
why do you hate autocorrect?

**cleopatra**  
it tried to corect my keybaaooaooaoaord smash, i just can’t trust it after that 😔🙏

**boomer**  
felix…  
when there’s a word you don’t know how to spell, you don’t have to purposely misspell it beyond recognition :/

**jisuck**  
i’m gonna turn off autocorrect too!

**cleopatra**  
why??

**jisuck**  
solidarity, bro 😔🙏

**cleopatra**  
bro… 😔🙏

**child**  
eww, hets  
*shudders*

**minhoe**  
i can’t be the only one who thinks jisung sorta looks like the fuckboy emoji

**changbitch**  
the WHAT now?

**minhoe**  
the fuckboy emoji  
you know, the squinting one, biting its lip, with a cap on?  
i think it’s throwing up gang signs as well

**boomer**  
this can’t be a real emoji

**minhoe**  
oh, it’s not! but there are pictures of it  
someone made it  
just google fuckboy emoji and you’ll see

**seungmo**  
oh, i just did  
yeah i know what you’re talking about

**child**  
i don’t see the resemblance though…

**minhoe**  
really? but they’re so similar!

**changbitch**  
i don’t think so, hyung :/

**jisuck**  
autocorect? dead to me  
my spelling? probaly inacurate af!!  
felix? my best friend <3

**cleopatra**  
<3

**child**  
both you and felix hyung are misspelling the word autocorrect  
it kinda takes away the effect :/

**minhoe**  
i think it adds to it!

**boomer**  
why did jisung and felix both decide to turn off autocorrect?  
i thought you appreciated it

**jisuck**  
soldy

**changbitch**  
…what

**jisuck**  
fuck, i can’t spell it  
soldy  
soldaiyt  
sollidairiy  
fuck, i give up

**child**  
are you trying to say solidarity?

**jisuck**  
yup that’s it!

**child**  
lmao  
the only reason i got it right is bc of autocorrect

**boomer**  
imma be honest here, we ALL need autocorrect  
why would you chose to turn it off?

**jisuck**  
i allready said why!

**cleopatra**  
yeah! and i did it becase of the disisisisisisicicririsiirimaion

**boomer**  
…what did i just tell you  
you don’t have to do that to words you don’t know how to spell  
i have no idea what that’s supposed to say!

**seungmo**  
discrimination

**cleopatra**  
yes! thank you seungmin!

**boomer**  
…seriously  
just to be clear, i’m not annoyed by your spelling or your dyslexia  
i’m just annoyed that you chose to get rid of a tool that’s supposed to help make your words recognizable :/

**child**  
you know that song from rapunzel, the “mother knows best” one?  
that’s what autocorrect is like  
you try to write something and then autocorrect changes it to something completely different while singing “autocorrect knows best!”

**hyunjin**  
the movie is called tangled, you uncultured swine!

**boomer**  
oh wow, you even managed to summon hyunjin  
you haven’t been writing much in here lately jinnie  
u good?

**hyunjin**  
ahahah yeah  
just been working on a project

**boomer**  
oh no,,, did you go into Lockdown Mode?

**hyunjin**  
no hyung it was fine

**boomer**  
so you did then  
and i didn’t even notice :((

**hyunjin**  
i-

**child**  
owo what’s happening?

**hyunjin**  
hahahah it was fine this time! i haven’t even fallen asleep on the rooftop once!

**minhoe**  
your standard for fine is so low, even chan hyung could probably reach it  
even with his non-existent sleep schedule

**boomer**  
uhh, rUDe

**seungmo**  
but true

**child**  
but what is this Lockdown Mode you speak of?

**boomer**  
it’s what i call it when hyunjin disappears, usually because of a school project  
symptoms include: locking himself in his room, not answering texts, forgetting meals, and falling asleep on the rooftop

**minhoe**  
why the rooftop?

**hyunjin**  
cause i like to go there to get inspiration, or to paint  
or just to think  
it’s a nice place! i recommend! (insert thumbs up)

**changbitch**  
felix and jisung are suddenly being very quiet..

**jisuck**  
typing is to annoing

**cleopatra**  
haha same

**boomer**  
just. use. autocorrect.

**seungmo**  
or you could just use that speaking thing, when your phone types what you say  
that way you won’t have to type  
dictating

**jisuck**  
Genius!

**cleopatra**  
Oh wow I can’t believe some women just stole all the brain cells  
*seungmin  
That was meant to say song mean  
*SEUNGMIN

**minhoe**  
i don’t think it knows names

**child**  
song mean omg that’s great!

_seungmo_ changed their name to song mean

**song mean**  
i actually kind of love this  
absolutely hilarious

 **changbitch**  
wouldn’t it be fun if felix says all our names and then we see what his phone types?

**minhoe**  
ooh we could all change our names then

**boomer**  
do we really have to change the names?  
wait i just realized what i’m called  
yes that’s a great idea!

**song mean**  
he just doesn’t wanna be boomer anymore

**hyunijn**  
but will we recognize the names if everyone changes them?

**song mean**  
i mean  
they’re supposed to be similar to our real names, so probably?  
idk it shouldn’t be too hard

**jisuck**  
Oh OK then let’s go Félix!

**boomer**  
…did you use dictation for that, or did you misspell felix’s name

**changbitch**  
he probably used dictation because i’ve never seen him capitalize before

**jisuck**  
Correct

**cleopatra**  
Here comes our names no no Nana

**hyunjin**  
how much do u wanna bet “no no Nana” is just a little melody he sang after saying that sentence?

**cleopatra**  
Sing it to the tune of here comes the sun  
Anyway  
Thanking, let me know, such as being, one Pandian, Hunji song, lee Felix, young young young

**boomer**  
…what  
is that what your phone made our names???

**minhoe**  
i’m guessing he skipped seungmin’s name since he already has a new one, but yeah that seems to be it

**cleopatra**  
I said our full names in age order  
Except for song mean

**boomer**  
my name is Thanking???

**changbitch**  
yeah it seems that way

**minhoe**  
Thanks jen  
omg i just tried and that’s what i got when i said bang chan

**changbitch**  
Bangin  
lol that’s what i got

**boomer**  
yeah ok this was a bad idea  
please stop :/

_child_ changed their name to young young young

**young young young**  
i mean,,, it’s not very inaccurate? right?  
korean pronunciation guide:  
yang jeongin = young young young

 **changbitch**  
lmao

**hyunjin**  
ooh i’m gonna try to say my name now  
100 100 gym

**minhoe**  
wait hyunjin lemme try  
One human gene

**boomer**  
w h a t

**changbitch**  
Juan Hunjan

**jisuck**  
the accuracy of this thing is insane!  
btw i just turned on autocorrect again  
sorry bro

**cleopatra**  
it’s cool bro, i did too  
but let me just try hyunjin’s name one last time  
Juan Juan Jean  
nope didn’t work

**jisuck**  
Hoang hon Jean

**boomer**  
this just gets worse and worse…

_hyunjin_ changed their name to Hoang hon Jean

**young young young**  
absolutely iconic behavior, hats off to you my good sir

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i could say the same to you chief!  
you’ve done a good deed today, good job!

**changbitch**  
no offense but i definitely won’t recognize you the next time this chat goes stupid

**cleopatra**  
go crazy, go stupid!

**song mean**  
oh, now the three of us kinda match

**boomer**  
so we’ve got minbinsung matching with the rude and inappropriate names, and then inminjin with the stupid spellings  
how fun

**minhoe**  
yeah that’s accurate

**cleopatra**  
wow me and chan hyung are really out here being outcasts, huh  
jisung you broke my heart 

**jisuck**  
i’m so sorry bro, i swear you’re still number one on my snapchat list!

**cleopatra**  
yeah, i better be!

**jisuck**  
my bro, my platonic soulmate, without you i’d be nothing 😔🙏

**cleopatra**  
okay don’t reduce yourself to just being my other half  
but also, yes!!  
my bfbaeitew <33

**minhoe**  
uhh,, what does that stand for?

**jisuck**  
Best Friend Before Anyone Else In The Entire World <3

**boomer**  
glad to see you two have bonded well these past weeks

**cleopatra**  
i mean, we have a child together  
it’d be weird if we’re only now becoming good friends

**young young young**  
yes that’s me!  
also, felix hyung, you could match with channie hyung  
that way everyone has a matching name!

**boomer**  
my aussie bro!

**cleopatra**  
aussie hyung!  
australian bro!  
chan the man!  
omg that should be your name

_boomer_ changed their name to chan the man

**chan the man**  
but what should you be then?  
felix the…  
nothing rhymes with felix

 **young young young**  
no it doesn’t??? nothing doesn’t rhyme with felix

**cleopatra**  
are you really saying i should set my screen name to nothing? :/

**chan the man**  
no no! i’m trying to come up with something that rhymes with felix

**jisuck**  
helix

**cleopatra**  
yeah no thanks  
i think i’ll just be something else

**chan the man**  
freckles

_cleopatra_ changed their name to freckles

**freckles**  
thanks hyung!  
and good job here today everyone!  
see you again soon! 


	12. wow (she's hot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _italics_ mean that they're writing in english!

**welcome to the circus**

**changbitch**  
i now know why i’m gay  
or more like, why i could never be straight

 **chan the man**  
you’re not allowed to complain, it was your idea!!

**freckles**  
wait what

**minhoe**  
i thought he saw a hot guy or something but now i’m not sure

**jisuck**  
we are a disgrace to the entire human race  
on behalf of us all, i apologize

**song mean**  
who did what why? what happened

**chan the man**  
so me, jisung and changbin made another a song together...

**minhoe**  
isn’t that a good thing? why are you apologizing

**changbitch**  
it was sort of like a love song

**freckles**  
??? still waiting for the bad part

**young young young**  
there’s nothing bad about making a love song

**jisuck**  
if you could hear what we just made, you wouldn’t say that  
the lyrics were just us trying to hit on a girl

**young young young**  
okay, so?  
wait aren’t you guys gay

**jisuck**  
that’s the saddest part  
i’m not, so i don’t even have a good excuse for why i created this shit

**chan the man**  
yeah same :/

**song mean**  
chan hyung… you have a Boyfriend

**chan the man**  
yeah?  
i mean, i’m obviously not straight either  
i’m pansexual

**freckles**  
ohh that means he loves pans! 😃

**young young young**  
isn’t that illegal???

**song mean**  
why would it be…?  
and no, that’s not what it means

**freckles**  
then why did i find all these pans under his bed 🤔

**chan the man**  
w h a t  
why were you under my bed…?

**jisuck**  
anyway  
i’m bi  
changbin hyung is the only one who has a good excuse because he just said he’s gay

**chan the man**  
but it was changbin’s idea so it cancels out, which means he’s just as bad as us  
i want to delete the song  
alternatively, i want to delete myself

**changbitch**  
you can call me zookeeper

**chan the man**  
excuse me noona, do you have a boyfriend?

**jisuck**  
you can be fiona, i’ll be shrek

**minhoe**  
i feel like they’re clowning each other  
actually, i think it’s pretty obvious that’s what they’re doing

**freckles**  
i really wanna hear the song though...

**song mean**  
yeah same

**changbitch**  
if that song ever sees the light of day, i will commit a murder

**chan the man**  
please don’t

**jisuck**  
commit a murder?

**chan the man**  
no not that  
i meant please don’t let that song see the light of day  
i don’t care about the murder

**song mean**  
oh wow, it’s that serious?

**jisuck**  
“wOW”

**chan the man**  
nO…!

**changbitch**  
my EYES….!!!!

**minhoe**  
wow…?

**jisuck**  
nO STOP

**changbitch**  
dELETE THAT WORD

**chan the man**  
DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY OR MY LAWYER WILL BE IN CONTACT

**freckles**  
do it baby, i know the law  
teehee  
but seriously, what’s up with you three and wow?

**jisuck**  
nOT THAT WORD

**song mean**  
wait… is that the title of your horrible song?

**young young young**  
oh, wow

**chan the man**  
sToP StoP it!!!

**minhoe**  
i see this as prime blackmail material  
this is an absolute win for everyone who’s not chan hyung, jisung or changbin :)  
but you three need a better name

**freckles**  
that’s true  
we need to be able to refer to you three as one entity

**chan the man**  
we’re the talantad misicians

**young young young**  
too hard to remember and too annoying to type  
pick something better

**changbitch**  
3 hot dudes

**young young young**  
eww, i hated that  
i’d rather drink hot sauce as a shot than type that with my own two fingers

**minhoe**  
you only have two fingers???

**young young young**  
no no no

**chan the man**  
hot sauce, then  
our new group name

**changbitch**  
sounds ugly  
might as well call us sriracha or smth

**jisuck**  
hey that’s actually kinda clever

**chan the man**  
calling ourselves sriracha?

**jisuck**  
no  
but how about 3racha? cause there’s three of us and it sounds like sriracha

**changbitch**  
yo, that’s not bad

**chan the man**  
i like it! 3racha

**jisuck**  
the only reason you like it is because it’s punny and you’re a dad :/  
dad jokes, bad jokes

**minhoe**  
lmao, jisung is calling him OUT!

**chan the man**  
i wasn’t expecting anything else :/  
thanks ji for appreciating me  
but seriously, are we 3racha now?

**changbitch**  
yeah

**jisuck**  
yis!

**song mean**  
okay so can we go back to WOW now?  
you know, the sucky song you just made?

**chan the man**  
Please Don’t

**jisuck**  
we’re too confident in it,,,  
actually no not me, i stuttered in my part  
in my opinion it gets worse with every verse

**chan the man**  
hey! i have the last verse!

**jisuck**  
that is exactly my point

**freckles**  
big oof

**minhoe**  
chan really be out here thinking he's THE shit  
which he is, in a way  
the biggest little shit i've ever seen

**chan the man**  
??? i'm literally older than you  
also what do you mean

**minhoe**  
they way you walk like you're 6ft tall and look like you're two seconds away from winking at a stranger? yeah that

**jisuck**  
chan really is the man

**freckles**  
chan the man

**song mean**  
chan the man

**changbitch**  
chan the man

**young young young**  
chan the man

**chan the man**  
…  
thanks for approving of my screen name ig  
there really was no need to, but thanks

**freckles**  
 _well that just ruffles my feathers!_  
sorry, i don't wanna say it in korean

**jisuck**   
_good for you_

**song mean**   
_jisung i didn't know you speak english?_

**jisuck**   
_no i don't_

**song mean**   
_yes you do  
you're speaking it right now_

**young young young**  
i understood that!

**minhoe**  
wow me too

**changbitch**  
i'm not even gonna bother  
if they have something important to say, they'll switch to korean

**jisuck**   
_yeah okay, i guess i do_

**freckles**   
_half of us speak english? wow that's cool  
let's start planning our world domination!_

**chan the man**   
_...why is that the conclusion you come to when you realize that 4 of us speak english?_

**jisuck**   
_i mean, he has a point!  
world domination makes sense now_

**changbitch**  
wut  
what's going on  
why you speaking english?

**freckles**   
_i sAID HEY...!_

**jisuck**   
_WHAT'S GOING ON?_

**young young young**  
can you switch back to korean

**freckles**   
_*britney spears voice* annyeong haseyo_

**song mean**   
_stop romanizing korean words, it’s disgusting_

**jisuck**   
_*also britney spears voice* saranghaeyo!_

**chan the man**  
thanks but no thanks

**minhoe**  
you’re not even getting a thanks from me  
just no.

**freckles**  
okay, understandable

**jisuck**  
have a nice day!

  
__

**young young young, Hoang hon Jean [private chat]**

**young young young**  
hyung did you go into Lockdown Mode?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no what’d you mean?  
you don’t even know me  
what is this Lockdown Mode you speak of?  
never heard of it

**young young young**  
that sounds an awful lot like you’re trying to avoid the question :/

**Hoang hon Jean**  
you shouldn’t worry about me i’m fine hahahahahaha

**young young young**  
that is the most monotone laugh i’ve ever heard

**Hoang hon Jean**  
??? this is a text conversation

**young young young**  
wait i was gonna say i could hear you laugh in my head but i’ve never heard your laugh…  
wanna meet up?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
why?

**young young young**  
or you could just record yourself laughing and send it to me :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
on second thought, i would love to meet up! :D  
but i’m busy right now  
raincheck?

**young young young**  
i thought raincheck was just for people who are dating?  
but anyway yeah  
raincheck  
don’t forget about me though!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
??? how could i  
and even if i did i’m pretty sure you would remind me and make me feel mildly threatened until i finally agree to meet you

**young young young**  
ah, you already know me too well :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
…the fact that you don’t deny it is worrying to me :/

**young young young**  
good  
it should be

**Hoang hon Jean**  
okay jeongin  
okay…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have reached new levels of procrastination… i have a presentation in about three hours where i'm supposed to talk about two pictures and i haven't even taken the pictures yet. me starting my assignments the day they're due? it's more likely than you think!
> 
> anyway 3racha is a thing now and hyunin have a chat together! :D


	13. chaotic bi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a hot take on bisexuality.

**welcome to the circus**

**minhoe**  
hey can someone tell chan hyung to unblock me?

 **changbitch**  
you have something to tell him?

**minhoe**  
no  
i wanna send him cat videos :)

**song mean**  
if he’s blocked you, how can you still be in this gc together?

**minhoe**  
he blocked me on instagram, not on here

**jisuck**  
omg hyung please send me cat videos!

**minhoe**  
wait…  
you're ASKING me to send you cat videos?  
seriously???

**jisuck**  
yes i live cats!!!  
wait, that was meant to say love  
nvm it still works

**freckles**  
on every level except physical, you are a cat

**Hoang hon Jean**  
if i had a cat, i would name her mia

**jisuck**  
mia, really?  
i wouldn't name my cat mia  
maybe patricia

**freckles**  
patricia sounds more like a houseplant tbh

**chan the man**  
jisung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**jisuck**  
what

**chan the man**  
i’ve been trying to reach you for like two hours  
why didn’t you answer?

**jisuck**  
oh  
i went to my parents’ house today

**chan the man**  
are you okay??  
they didn't say anything, did they?

**jisuck**  
well...  
i'm not going back there again, so to say

**freckles**  
oh no, ji :(((

**minhoe**  
what happened baby?

**jisuck**  
the first they complained about was my clothes  
i was just dressed like your typical eboy and then my mom said "you'll never find a wife if you look like that"  
so i said "good i don't want one"

**chan the man**  
they already knew you're not straight though?

**jisuck**  
i mean i've told them but i think they've just been waiting for me to realize that it's "just a phase" or some bullshit  
they never actually accepted it, they just decided to ignore it  
the fun part about being bisexual is that when you have a girlfriend people think you're straight, and when you have a boyfriend people think you're gay

**song mean**  
that's not how bisexuality works...

**jisuck**  
and it doesn't really matter if you tell them that you're bisexual because in their mind it's just another word for "curious" or "indecisive" and not a real sexual orientation  
and i had a girlfriend back in malaysia, so in my parent’s eyes, i was straight

**freckles**  
do you ever get the urge to just  
break into someone’s brain and force them to understand something important?  
and stop them from being rude because they’re so misinformed about the thing?

**chan the man**  
i don’t think that’s possible buddy, but yeah i get the sentiment

**jisuck**  
lol  
if you could do that and end bisexual erasure, that’d be great

**minhoe**  
please end all inequality while you’re at it

**song mean**  
that’d be great, thanks

**jisuck**  
also, just so everyone knows  
not that it’s really been a topic before, but...  
i don’t think i’m comfortable with calling myself gay anymore???  
like  
i know it can be used as an umbrella term and i’ve used it that way before even though i identify as bi, but i don’t think i wanna do that anymore  
and i’d appreciate it if you don’t do it, either

**chan the man**  
that’s totally okay ji!

**changbitch**  
i respect that

**jisuck**  
i mean you can use gay as an umbrella term for yourself if you’re bi/pan/something else and wanna do that, but please don’t use it for me  
i’m not comfortable with it

**freckles**  
of course we’ll respect that ji

**chan the man**  
you’ve always been a chaotic bi in my eyes sungie :’)

**jisuck**  
ooooh

_jisuck_ changed their name to chaotic bi

**freckles**  
omg  
a rebrand!

 **changbitch**  
noo, our matching names!

**chaotic bi**  
hyung you can be panicked gay!

**changbitch**  
…  
what about minho hyung, then

**minhoe**  
i’ll be the confident gay ;)

**changbitch**  
i thought you didn’t like labels?

**minhoe**  
nah not really, but i still call myself gay a lot of the time  
i’m fine with using it as an umbrella term  
don’t worry though ji, i won’t do it for you!

_minhoe_ changed their name to confident gay

_changbitch_ changed their name to panicked gay

**panicked gay**  
wait,,,  
why did i just admit to being a panicked gay

 **chaotic bi**  
are you implying that there was a chance we would believe you if you said otherwise?  
because you are a panicked gay and everyone knows it

**chan the man**  
yeah jisung is right

**panicked gay**  
:/

**chaotic bi**  
hang on i just realized  
chan hyung, why were you trying to reach me earlier?

**chan the man**  
oh!  
lemme just switch over to private chat

  
__

**that vine where the kid has a knife and the mom f r e a k s**

**chan the man**  
ohh i had entirely forgotten about this chat name…  
but i have to admit, that is an iconic vine  
why did we make it our chat name though?

 **chaotic bi**  
don’t you remember!  
we agreed that i’m the kid that’s running with the knife and you’re the parent that freaks out!  
it describes our relationship perfectly

**chan the man**  
oh right… it really does

**chaotic bi**  
anyway  
what do you want hag

**chan the man**  
excUSE ME?

**chaotic bi**  
oh, sorry  
what do you want hag hyung*

**chan the man**  
i was trying to be considerate and ask you before asking everyone else so you don’t feel pressured to say yes in front of the others, but never mind then :/

**chaotic bi**  
no no i’m so sorry hyung!  
what were you gonna ask?

**chan the man**  
i was gonna suggest that we hang out, all eight of us

**chaotic bi**  
ooh that sounds like chaos  
i like it!

**chan the man**  
should’ve figured :/  
well then i guess i’ll ask the others?

**chaotic bi**  
no hyung wait  
just in case everyone says yes  
can i, like,,,  
idk how to phrase it  
when we meet up (if we decide to do it) i don’t wanna enter a room where there are already seven people

**chan the man**  
huh?

**chaotic bi**  
i mean i don’t wanna face the whole group at once

**chan the man**  
ohh i see  
like, if we decide to hang out somewhere, you wanna be the first person there?

**chaotic bi**  
yeah exactly

**chan the man**  
would it be fine if you, me, changbin and minho meet up before everyone else, if we hang out?  
you seem to trust those two a lot  
and you’ve obviously known me for a long time

**chaotic bi**  
yeah i’d like that  
not that i’m uncomfortable with any of the others!  
it’s just  
i’m not very comfortable in groups, even if i’ve met all of them before  
it’s different in a group setting, you know?

**chan the man**  
i know, that’s why i asked you before everyone else

**chaotic bi**  
thanks hyung  
i appreciate it <3

**chan the man**  
it’s really not a problem  
but you’re welcome <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello wassup, i just heard jisung's new song. i cri :')  
> also, i play piano and i learn songs by ear so i've learned most of the song already ahhahah it's so beautiful


	14. the jeongsunglix door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another chapter because i am On A Roll :D

**young young young, Hoang hon Jean [private chat]**

****

**young young young**  
hi hyung ^.^  
how are you today?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m good, wbu? :p

 **young young young**  
great!  
you haven’t been in the gc a lot lately  
what have you been up to?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
my class had an art exhibition a few days ago  
that’s the project i’ve been working so much on lately

 **young young young**  
ohh that sound fun!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah…

 **young young young**  
or maybe not...  
what happened?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
it’s not a big deal  
i feel like i’m complaining over nothing  
there are bigger issues in the world

 **young young young**  
i mean, you’re right about that, but if you twist your ankle no one is going to tell you to suck it up and walk on it just because there are children starving somewhere in the world  
that makes no sense

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
…weird analogy, but okay  
i see your point

 **young young young**  
so what happened at the art exhibition?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
all the art students usually stay by their artwork for a while so that people can ask questions or talk about their work, and i had worked really hard on my painting so i was very excited to show it off

 **young young young**  
makes sense

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i talked to some of the visitors, but then i noticed a group of girls standing a bit away and staring in my general direction  
so i figured they were interested in the artwork

 **young young young**  
that would also make sense

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
but when they finally came up to talk, they didn’t even look at my piece  
turns out they just wanted to get my number and flirt bc they thought i was handsome  
like, hello??? my painting is RIGHT there and i worked on it for WEEKS and this is an ART exhibition, that’s what you’re hERE for  
anyway  
i’m just tired of working my fucking ass off for people to ignore my entire personality just bc they find me pretty

 **young young young**  
wait  
is your name hwang hyunjin???  
like, THE hwang hyunjin????

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
uhh, yeah i guess…

 **young young young**  
omg i’ve heard about you!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
lemme guess, “the pretty art major”?

 **young young young**  
no not that!  
i’ve seen some of your art and i fucking LOVED it!!!  
also  
i may or may not have visited that art exhibition bc one of my friends is also an art major

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait what

 **young young young**  
yeah  
and i talked to you…

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait WHAT  
we’ve talked??  
and i didn’t even know it????

 **young young young**  
in my defense, i didn’t know it either

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
you knew i’m an art major and that my name is hyunijn!

 **young young young**  
okay look you don’t have to insult my ability to make logical conclusions :/  
but whatever  
i loved your piece so much!!!!!!!!!!! like holy shit  
i don’t know the fancy words but the colors? the shapes? the way they contrasted and balanced each other out so well?  
my mind was blown

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait i think i know who you are!  
you were the really cute guy with dimples who just stared at my painting for a few minutes before asking about it!

 **young young young**  
oh uhhhhh yeah i guess  
sorry i was just really impressed with it! needed time to gather my thoughts, lol

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no no it’s totally fine!  
you were probably the most interesting person i met there

 **young young young**  
“interesting” just stab me in the heart, would you

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
ajsaldhjdslkslak… i didn’t mean it like that!!!  
but like, i could tell your energy was much more genuine than a lot of the other people there

 **young young young**  
thanks! i’m glad you like my energy

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not but yeah, i did like it :)

 **young young young**  
i like your energy too, hyung  
you have nice vibes

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
omg these compliments are getting so weird but thank you!  
wait chan hyung just sent something in the big gc

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

****

**chan the man**  
hi hello my lovely children  
how would you guys feel about all of us hanging out sometime this week?

 **freckles**  
amazing, fantastic, wonderful, never been done before, show stopping, spectacular  
in other words YES!

 **song mean**  
i think you should be asking yourself that question, hyung

 **chan the man**  
why

 **panicked gay**  
how would you feel about all of us hanging out together?

 **chan the man**  
it was my idea, so i’d be fine with it…? isn’t that obvious

 **confident gay**  
oh, you sweet summer child  
your mind is too innocent :/

 **chan the man**  
...i was literally born in october

 **chaotic bi**  
summer child isn’t someone born in the summer  
summer child is a personality trait

 **song mean**  
anyway  
yeah i’d like to hang out

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
same! i’ve already met everyone in this chat aside from minho hyung and changbin hyung though

 **chan the man**  
when did you and innie meet?

 **young young young**  
two days ago, apparently  
and we didn’t even know!

 **confident gay**  
so you saw each other in public but didn’t talk, or?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no, we talked  
we just didn’t know who the other was

 **freckles**  
weird

 **chan the man**  
everyone here is weird so i’m honestly not that surprised about how you met

 **young young young**  
but yeah i’d like to meet everyone!

 **chan the man**  
great!  
so everyone is active in the gc but only three people have answered so far  
what about the rest?

 **freckles**  
chan hyung getting impatient over here

 **chaotic bi**  
hyung you already asked me so you know that my answer is yes

 **panicked gay**  
oh yeah sure i’ll be there

 **confident gay**  
me too  
can’t miss out on a prime opportunity to annoy chan hyung in real life :)

 **freckles**  
i thought you live with him?  
can’t you just annoy him every day?

 **confident gay**  
oh i do

 **song mean**  
do you mean “i do”, as in that you live with him, or “i do” as in that you annoy him every day?

 **confident gay**  
yes :)

 **song mean**  
ok, thanks

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
sure hyung i’ll be there too!  
wait  
where

 **chan the man**  
fun! uhh, i haven’t planned that far  
i was waiting to see if everyone wanted to meet up before deciding

 **confident gay**  
we could invite them over to our apartment

 **chan the man**  
you would do that? really?  
you do know how chaotic everyone here is, right?

 **chaotic bi**  
it’s not like i haven’t broken into your apartment before, hyung

 **freckles**  
same  
us wreaking havoc together is no different than one of us wreaking havoc alone in your apartment

 **chan the man**  
that… does not comfort me in the slightest  
minho are you sure?

 **confident gay**  
just don’t hurt any of my cats and it’ll be fine

 **chaotic bi**  
i could never hurt any of your cats, hyung  
not without crying

 **freckles**  
yeah same

 **young young young**  
mood  
animals are too precious

 **chan the man**  
…fine  
i’m saying yes, but minho  
just so you know  
you will regret inviting these punks into your living space

 **chaotic bi**  
we’ve all been there before

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
??? no we haven’t

 **freckles**  
that’s your personal problem hyunjin :/

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
why is it a problem?  
and i don’t think seungmin has been there either

 **song mean**  
you’re not wrong

 **freckles**  
as i said  
a personal problem  
you should really work on that

 **young young young**  
he should work on the fact that he hasn’t been in hyung’s apartment???

 **chaotic bi**  
exactly!

 **song mean**  
but chan hyung just hasn’t invited me to his apartment  
not that i’m really interested in going there  
i’m just saying i can’t invite myself in

 **freckles**  
yeah you can  
it’s not even that hard  
there’s a tree right outside the living room window

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah and they never keep that window locked  
you can open it from outside

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
…are you saying we should break in?

 **freckles**  
yes?  
it’s not like it hasn’t happened before

 **chan the man**  
wait  
is that how you got into my apartment all those times??

 **confident gay**  
i’m locking the window as we speak

 **freckles**  
that’s useless

 **chaotic bi**  
i already have a copy of your apartment key

 **young young young**  
i don’t :(  
but i’ve also broken in through that window before  
don’t lock it :((

 **panicked gay**  
i have a name suggestion for your window:  
the jeongsunglix door

 **confident gay**  
i’d say the main burglars in our group are jisung and felix, while jeongin is lead burglar  
we’re like a kpop group but with criminals instead of idols

 **chan the man**  
well, it’s accurate

 **confident gay**  
wait  
how come i never met sung, felix or jeongin before this gc, if they’ve apparently broken into our apartment before?  
and how didn’t they meet each other?

 **chaotic bi**  
first of all, i don’t think any of us broke in that many times  
but uhh,,,  
i did meet felix once

 **freckles**  
yeah  
we didn’t exchange names though  
we didn’t even talk

 **chaotic bi**  
but we recognized each other the first time we met!  
or technically the second,,,  
but the first time we actually planned to meet each other! when we went out a few weeks ago

 **panicked gay**  
hang on  
the first time hyunjin & jeongin met, they didn’t know they were talking to each other  
the first time felix & jisung met, it was because they broke into the same apartment

 **confident gay**  
wow, i love this drama

 **chan the man**  
knowing you guys, i’m not actually that surprised  
but what’s the story behind you two breaking in at the same time?

 **freckles**  
i was actually breaking out just as he was going on  
we made eye contact as he was climbing through the window and just nodded solemnly at each other from across your living room

 **chaotic bi**  
it was like a silent acknowledgment that we were on the same side, and that this would remain between us two

 **freckles**  
also a silent agreement to not tell chan hyung

 **chaotic bi**  
oh yeah

 **confident gay**  
the more i learn about you guys, the more your personalities make sense  
if someone else had told me that story i would not have believed it, but felix and jisung?  
yeah that honestly makes so much sense

 **song mean**  
i feel the same way about everyone in this chat

 **young young young**  
lmao  
it makes sense that chan hyung adopted all of us  
he’s also weird

 **chan the man**  
hey :(

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
okay so we’ll meet in chan hyung and minho hyung’s apartment  
does this friday work for everyone? :)

 **young young young**  
waah hyunjin hyung stepping up and making the conversation productive!  
good job chief!

 **panicked gay**  
yeah works for me

 **chan the man**  
same here  
minho says he agrees

 **freckles**  
i’m with jisung rn and we both say yes

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
great! we just made a plan :D  
good job to us!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me at 10:15 pm: oh god, the Exhaustion... it seeps through my bones... i must rest... my eyelids, they're so heavy, oh, how can i stay awake even a moment longer... my body is tired... my heart is heavy... sleep, i must Sleep...
> 
> me at 10:30 pm: energy! omg i'm so energized! this is truly the time to live! Time To Dance! my mind is Sharp! my body is a battery, fully charged! never before have i experienced this energy! i must be productive... let's GO!


	15. individual expression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was feeling philosophical about how i used to joke with my old friends about how close to satan i am, but in my current friend group i'm apparently an angel...  
> yeah that's how this chapter happened :]

**minbinsung**

****

**chaotic bi**  
my high school friends would probably be like "this is our smartest friend, he’s the least emo out of us all" about me, but most of my friends now would be like "this is our dumb emo friend" (in a nice way!) and it just made me realize how we can't define anything without comparing it to something else... cause obviously i'm the same person, but they see me so differently because they're both comparing me to themselves…

 **confident gay**  
okay, but that’s literally how we define things!  
without a point of reference, no one would actually be anything and we wouldn’t really have an identity, since there’s no way for you to define yourself  
if there’s no one dumber, you’re not smart, and there’s no one shorter, so you’re not tall, etc.

 **panicked gay**  
wait, do you mean like  
you’d be both the shortest and tallest person alive, so you can’t call yourself either short OR tall?

 **confident gay**  
exactly!  
you’re the funniest and the most boring person, the tallest and the shortest, the ugliest and the prettiest all at once  
so it’s impossible to say anything about what you actually are since you’re the ONLY thing that exists

 **chaotic bi**  
well,,, this conversation is a trippy trip that i did not imagine i would be taking today

 **panicked gay**  
you started it

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah, because i was feeling philosophical about how we describe things  
then you come out and say that and now my brain is wrECKED  
mind blown? nope. mind GONE

 **panicked gay**  
lowkey same though

 **confident gay**  
anyway  
what brought these philosophical thoughts on?

 **chaotic bi**  
if we normalized individual expression, we wouldn’t feel bad about ourselves

 **panicked gay**  
huh?

 **chaotic bi**  
like  
if every fashion style was seen as normal, and if every body type and all physical features were accepted as pretty, we probably wouldn’t feel bad ourselves  
or i mean, we could still feel bad if we compare ourselves to others, but it would be more because we find their type of beauty more aesthetically pleasing and are jealous of that, and not because we think our appearance is less than theirs according to the general public

 **confident gay**  
what the hell, that’s so deep

 **panicked gay**  
and also so true

 **confident gay**  
woah my mind is still processing  
but like  
that didn’t really answer my question

 **chaotic bi**  
oh! yeah i wanted to wear an outfit but then i stopped myself because i realized people would stare, and then i started to think about why it has to be such a big deal what i wear, even to people that don’t know me  
...and then it kinda spiraled

 **panicked gay**  
ohh what was the outfit?

 **chaotic bi**  
well, not so much the whole outfit, just one item  
a skirt

 **confident gay**  
a sKIRT  
i would DIE if i saw you in a skirt sungie

 **chaotic bi**  
oh…

 **confident gay**  
wHY ARE YOU SAYING OH LIKE IT’S A BAD THING???  
i’m saying you’d be too hot for me to handle

 **chaotic bi**  
OH

 **confident gay**  
YEAH

 **panicked gay**  
highkey same  
i think my balls will burst

 **chaotic bi**  
wHAT

 **confident gay**  
LMAO CHANGBIN

 **panicked gay**  
oh sHIT OH NO  
that was autocorrect! not me!!!

 **confident gay**  
big oof  
but i agree 😏

 **chaotic bi**  
well… 😳  
i’m not sure i wanna wear a skirt anymore  
could you two handle it?

 **panicked gay**  
i mean,,, no  
my brain would short-circuit

 **confident gay**  
and that’s exactly why i think you should do it!

 **chaotic bi**  
okay you know what  
i’ll do it when all of us meet tomorrow, but only if one of you guys also wears something …

 **confident gay**  
sexual?

 **chaotic bi**  
i was gonna say unexpected, but sure  
something you wouldn’t see a white heterosexual conservatist dude wear

 **panicked gay**  
okay but that bar is so low  
i could just wear a choker and call that unexpected

 **chaotic bi**  
hmm well,,,

 **confident gay**  
changbin what unexpected items do you own

 **chaotic bi**  
oh wait you’re both doing it?

 **panicked gay**  
yeah sure, why not?  
i don’t care what people think of my style  
but i don’t own a skirt though

 **confident gay**  
not me either  
but chan hyung has crop tops i could borrow

 **panicked gay**  
i have fishnet pant things  
idk what they’re called

 **chaotic bi**  
omg  
my bisexual ass will combust  
are we sure about this?

 **confident gay**  
well, changbin just said his balls will burst, so…

 **panicked gay**  
it wAs A miStaKe…!

 **chaotic bi**  
i’m really feeling the panicky gay vibes hyung  
also  
don’t try to stop me but i’m gonna dye my hair

 **panicked gay**  
why would we try to stop you?

 **chaotic bi**  
last time i dyed my hair i made everything orange  
i should not be trusted with hair dye  
but you can’t stop me! :)

 **panicked gay**  
do you want help

 **chaotic bi**  
…yes please  
wait  
how do i know you know what you’re doing?

 **confident gay**  
that’s easy  
we don’t know shit  
but we’re great at bullshitting our way through tasks and will most likely not leave you with any permanent damage!

 **chaotic bi**  
well if that doesn’t fill me with confidence…  
but yeah sure

 **panicked gay**  
we can come over and dye your hair?

 **chaotic bi**  
yes :D  
jisung is out rn so i have the dorm to myself

 **confident gay**  
??? but you’re jisung

 **chaotic bi**  
that’s true, but so is my roommate

 **panicked gay**  
your roommate’s name is also jisung?

 **chaotic bi**  
yup, lmao

 **confident gay**  
so anyway  
i’m omw!

 **panicked gay**  
so am i  
or well, i’m getting ready right now

 **confident gay**  
okay yeah, i am too  
not technically on my way yet  
but i will be soon!

 **chaotic bi**  
i feel like you’re both the kind of people who start getting ready at the time you’re supposed to meet

 **panicked gay**  
…

 **confident gay**  
…

 **chaotic bi**  
oh wow  
you two would not be able to make plans together  
no offense

 **panicked gay**  
:/  
but wait, what color is your hair gonna be?

 **chaotic bi**  
blue! i’ve already bleached it so it’s just the color left

 **confident gay**  
ooh that’s gonna be so hot  
also not to change the topic but changbin  
tank top

 **panicked gay**  
huh?

 **confident gay**  
ripped jeans over fishnet pants with a tank top  
just an outfit idea for when we hang out tomorrow :)

 **chaotic bi**  
that felt more like a request than an idea…

 **confident gay**  
ohh okay  
yeah that sounds good

 **chaotic bi**  
min hyung just wants to see your arms binnie hyung

 **confident gay**  
jisung!!!  
i thought we were in this together!

 **chaotic bi**  
10/10 i would work with changbin hyung to conspire against you  
but also 10/10 would work with you to conspire against changbin hyung  
we’re ALL in this together :’)

 **panicked gay**  
ok i’m leaving now!  
send us your dorm number sungie

 **confident gay**  
how much time do we have to dye your hair?

 **chaotic bi**  
idk i think my roommate is staying with his boyfriend tonight  
but i’m going over to felix’s later  
but that’s later  
so we have time to mess up a few times!

 **panicked gay**  
good to know

 **confident gay**  
send us your location and we’ll see you soon ;)

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

****

**freckles**  
loving and appreciating bang chan hours are: open

 **chaotic bi**  
you fool  
you absolute fool  
loving and appreciating bang chan hours are always open!

 **freckles**  
you know what  
you’re right and you should say it

 **young young young**  
it is 6:30 am on a friday, why are you awake?

 **freckles**  
bold words for someone who’s also awake!

 **song mean**  
yeah, but innie being awake is to be expected  
him and his functional sleep schedule, smh

 **chan the man**  
oh shit  
oh crap  
it’s morning already???

 **song mean**  
have you seriously not gone to bed yet?

 **chan the man**  
did jilix ever go to bed?  
it’s weird for them to be up this early

 **song mean**  
fine, ignore my question :/

 **young young young**  
wait  
did none of you go to bed last night?

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah we did!

 **freckles**  
we went to bed several times last night!  
but we kept waking up

 **young young young**  
why?

 **chaotic bi**  
there was a scorpion

 **song mean**  
ah, okay  
wait  
did you sleep together?

 **chaotic bi**  
NO!  
WE’RE BEST FRIENDS

 **freckles**  
NOTHING MORE!  
_GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOUNG SIR!_  
idk how to say it in korean

 **song mean**  
i didn’t mean it like that!!!!  
i meant to ask if you had a sleepover!

 **chaotic bi**  
ohh yeah i guess we did  
but chan hyung!

 **chan the man**  
hi

 **chaotic bi**  
no! you haven’t gone to bed yet!!! :((

 **chan the man**  
from the sounds of it, you haven’t either

 **freckles**  
yes we did  
but we woke up a bunch of times for various reasons  
first we forgot to close a window, then my phone rang, then there was the scorpion…  
but hyung!

 **chaotic bi**  
go to sLEEP!  
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

 **freckles**  
jisung, hitting chan repeatedly with a pillow: go to sleep go to sleep go tO SLEEP…!

 **young young young**  
you’ve said the word sleep so many times, my brain can barely read it anymore  
now it sounds like “sheep” when i read it in my head

 **chaotic bi**  
innie, tell chan hyung to go to sleep!!!

 **chan the man**  
can’t  
i have more work to do today

 **freckles**  
SLEEP…!

 **song mean**  
they’re right hyung  
you really should sleep

 **young young young**  
plus we’re all meeting later today and we don’t want you to fall asleep on us :(

 **chan the man**  
oh no  
it is The Pout

 **freckles**  
hyung, i am breaking into your apartment and forcing you to go to bed!!!!!

 **chan the man**  
don’t you have class

 **freckles**  
idk i think it got canceled for half of us since we already did the presentation  
and i did it last week so i think i’m free

 **chan the man**  
yeah but you don’t have to come over or anything  
i’m fine hahaha

 **freckles**  
yes, i absolutely do have to  
Prepare To Face Me! :)

 **chan the man**  
well that’s ominous

 **freckles**  
I’ll Be There In Ten Minutes! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bang chan black hair? changbin blue?? seungmin purple? hyunjin something light (aakjhskajlh i can't see clearly)? silver sung? silver lix? minho light brown?  
> smh… jeongin is the only one i trust


	16. prepare for chaos!

**annoying roommates**

**confident gay**  
chan, if you’re not asleep when i come back from my morning lecture, you’re getting choked  
and not in the kinky way :/  
because dude, you seriously need to rest

 **chan the man**  
oh, wow  
a bit vielent, dont you think?

 **confident gay**  
that’s the point hyung

 **chan the man**  
hahahhahhaha  
“hyung”  
lol

 **confident gay**  
so what? you’re older than me  
i always call you hyung

 **chan the man**  
lol i’m not chan  
he’s sleeping rn so i have his phone  
also, fuck him.  
he doesnt have autorocoect on  
like, look at that word  
if i had my own phone, it would look god :/

 **confident gay**  
gOD…?

 **chan the man**  
lmao, no  
i’m felix

 **confident gay**  
oh okay  
wait i saw the big gc earlier so i shouldn’t be surprised  
you got him to sleep?

 **chan the man**  
yes  
we talked a bit and now he’s sleeping  
as he should

 **confident gay**  
is he okay? he’s seemed stressed for a while now  
i’m worried

 **chan the man**  
we talked, but idk  
i think it’s work  
his internchip is prety demanding and his own high expecetations dont help

 **confident gay**  
“pretty demanding” yeah definitely  
i think he said something about them wanting five demos from him before next friday

 **chan the man**  
oh wow thats a lot

 **confident gay**  
yeah…  
anyway  
thanks for looking after him ig

 **chan the man**  
he can look after himsefl, i just talked and cudled him ^-^

 **confident gay**  
...he absolutely can not, but sure  
i guess i’ll see you when i come back from my lecture?

 **chan the man**  
oh no, i’m gonna break out soon :)  
i have class

 **confident gay**  
i thought you said you didn’t have class today?

 **chan the man**  
that was just so chan hyung wouldnt feel bad if i miss it bc of him!

 **confident gay**  
ah, i see  
but i’ll still see you later today cause it’s friday :)

 **chan the man**  
uhh,,, why?  
it was friday last week to  
and i didn’t see you then  
why is friday a big deal????

 **confident gay**  
…all eight of us are hanging out later

 **chan the man**  
OH RIGHT  
n e way i gotta go!!!!!  
see u!!!!!!

 **confident gay**  
bye

  
__

**road work ahead?**

**chaotic bi**  
do you remember that time we learned how to flirt?

 **song mean**  
oh wow it’s been a while since we used this gc

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
huh?

 **freckles**  
i don’t think i’ve flirted with you guys…

 **chaotic bi**  
no no!!  
we just gave each other tips  
and learned that the way to flirt is: shake ass, throw milkshake, send meme  
not sure if that was the right order but yeah

 **freckles**  
oh right!  
that was way back when i still thought i wanted to flirt with jeongin  
lmao

 **song mean**  
yeah, what happened with that?

 **freckles**  
i realized i’d rather be his friend :)  
and the best way to friendzone someone is by adopting them, lol

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah cool  
but why are we bringing back the flirting tips now?

 **chaotic bi**  
i’m here to update y’all

 **song mean**  
about?

 **chaotic bi**  
about the effectiveness of these flirting tips ;)

 **freckles**  
oh?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
o h ?  
you’ve used them? :o

 **chaotic bi**  
yup

 **song mean**  
i’m not sure i wanna know who you threw a milkshake at  
or who got to see you shaking your ass

 **freckles**  
we’re meeting up in less than two hours, please don’t tell me you’re covered in milkshake

 **chaotic bi**  
oh no, not me  
i’m the one who threw the milkshake

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
the tea is piping today!  
do we know the person you threw it at?

 **chaotic bi**  
oh yeah definitely!  
not sure if any of you have met him though

 **song mean**  
omg it’s someone from the gc

 **freckles**  
minho hyung?  
changbin hyung??  
definitely not chan hyung cause he’s your dad  
plus he has a boyfriend  
and probably not innie cause you adopted him

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
the rest of us are in this group, so it’s gotta be either minho hyung or changbin hyung

 **chaotic bi**  
i am actually really conflicted rn

 **song mean**  
oh no  
it’s both of them, and you’re unsure about how that’s gonna work out

 **chaotic bi**  
…are you a mind reader or just a genius

 **song mean**  
lol  
just a genius

 **Hoang hon jean**  
that’s okay ji  
you can like two people at once

 **chaotic bi**  
but i really like both of them and i’m not sure if they both like me back or if they both like each other and i really value their friendship and i don’t wanna put any pressure on either of them by confessing

 **freckles**  
those are not the problems i had been expecting you to have

 **chaotic bi**  
like,,,  
regardless of whether they like me back or not, i don’t wanna tell them because that would mean they have to figure out their own feelings and maybe one of them does like me and the other doesn’t or maybe they both like each other or maybe neither of them can imagine being in a polyamorous relationship and then we’ll just be stuck in this really awkward place of liking each other but not being together

 **song mean**  
i hope you know you’re overthinking this

 **chaotic bi**  
i do know that, yeah  
doesn’t stop my thoughts from coming though

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i hope you know the only way to figure it out is by talking to them

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah, and i will  
in a while...  
gotta reflect and overthink for a little bit first :)

 **song mean**  
okay, cool

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait why did you throw a milkshake at them?

 **chaotic bi**  
oh, that  
the three of us got lunch together and minho was like “jisung, throw me the milkshake!” so naturally i threw it at him :D

 **freckles**  
…i think he meant to say pass me the milkshake

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah, i know

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
if you knew that, why did you throw it?

 **song mean**  
chaotic good

 **freckles**  
lmao

 **song mean**  
anyway  
does anyone else wanna confess about liking someone in this group?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yes!!!!!!  
i mean wait what

 **freckles**  
you’re in love with my son :((

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
what why…?  
how’d you know?

 **song mean**  
jisung is already in love with minho hyung & changbin hyung, chan hyung is in a relationship, so jeongin is the only one left  
unless you like one of us, in which case i doubt you’d say it in this gc

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh damn, u SMART smart boi

 **song mean**  
…thanks?

 **freckles**  
so are you gonna tell him?

 **Hoang hon jean**  
oh, no  
no no no nO NO  
nope  
definitely not  
d e f i n i t e l y n o t

 **song mean**  
i think one no would have been enough

 **chaotic bi**  
gotta make sure there are no misunderstandings  
one no simply isn’t enough

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah yeah  
i just wanna be his friend for now  
we barely know each other anyway  
i just think he’s cute and nice and i wouldn’t mind kissing him :((

 **freckles**  
good thing you’re hanging out with him today then :D  
and the rest of us :D

 **song mean**  
i’m not sure how good it’s gonna be for our collective sanity, but yeah sure

 **chaotic bi**  
i’m excited :D

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
me too :D  
i’m meeting up with innie and we’re gonna go there together

 **freckles**  
o H ?

 **chaotic bi**  
cool! i’m gonna be there earlier cause me and changbin hyung are going back with minho hyung  
or well, we’re gonna change outfits in our own dorms first

 **freckles**  
why change?  
oh wait  
milkshake

 **chaotic bi**  
no that was just minho hyung  
but i’m gonna wear a skirt and changbin hyung has a whole outfit planned out by minho hyung

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh? what outfit is so important that minho hyung went out of his way to decide it for him?

 **chaotic bi**  
a r m s !  
oh, and fishnets

 **freckles**  
oh, damn

 **chaotic bi**  
truly :’)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait did you just say a skirt

 **chaotic bi**  
i did, yeah  
why?

 **freckles**  
omg, i should wear a skirt too!

 **song mean**  
please do  
wait shit i didn’t mean to send that…  
please ignore…!

 **freckles**  
ohh seungminnie ;)  
of course i’ll do that!  
for you~~~

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh boy, this will be interesting

 **song mean**  
yeah whatever

 **chaotic bi**  
i bet he’s blushing right now!

 **song mean**  
don’t make bets you’re gonna lose

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yup, he’s definitely blushing right now

 **song mean**  
you can’t even see me :/

 **chaotic bi**  
i can feel it in my SOUL!

 **song mean**  
yeah okay bYE i’ll see you little shits later!!!!!!

 **freckles**  
aww minnie don’t be like that! i like that you like me!  
wait that came out wrong  
i don’t really know how to say it without sounding wrong again  
uuuuuuhhhh

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah… i think we’ll just see each other later, ok?

 **freckles**  
agreed.

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

**Hoang hon Jean**  
prepare for trouble!

 **young young young**  
but make it double!  
no wait triple  
no fait fourthle

 **song mean**  
..that is not a word

 **young young young**  
but there’s no red underline, so i’m pretty sure it is!

 **chan the man**  
glad to see you’re all well :)  
where are you rn?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
me and jeongin are outside your door!

 **chan the man**  
coolio  
changbin, jisung and minho are already inside  
the door is unlocked

 **young young young**  
you didn’t tell us to come in, but i’m gonna take it as an invite! :D

 **chan the man**  
and so the chaos begins…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quarantine activity: cry over seo changbin. even though i can't understand it ("streetlight"), i can feel his emotions through the song. the power of music :')
> 
> oh and also, unrelated but did you know that chan spoiled SLUMP eng version way back in february? lmao i only noticed recently


	17. i am? gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhh they have a bunch of different chats in this chapter and there are time jumps between some of them but i think it'll be clear when that happens?

**that vine where the kid has a knife and the mom f r e a k s**

****

**chaotic bi**  
hahahah i’m bisexual :’)

 **chan the man**  
i know jisung

 **chaotic bi**  
minho hyung is wearing a crop top :’)  
binnie hyung has a tank top :’)

 **chan the man**  
i know jisung

 **chaotic bi**  
my heart is beating very fast right now :’)

 **chan the man**  
i know jisung

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah okay i should go talk to them now

 **chan the man**  
i know jisung  
<3

  
__

**annoying roommates**

****

**confident gay**  
i am? gay

 **chan the man**  
that sounds like it could be an album

 **confident gay**  
then make it an album  
there should be three parts to it  
i am NOT: straight  
i am WHO?  
i am GAY

 **chan the man**  
stop staring at changbin and jisung and go talk to them or something

 **confident gay**  
i will ;)

  
__

**panicked gay, chan the man [private chat]**

****

**panicked gay**  
the gay panic is STRONG today!

 **chan the man**  
i see that

 **panicked gay**  
hyung  
jisungie is wearing a skirt  
A S K I R T  
my screen name is literally panicked gay  
how do you expect me to deal with this?

 **chan the man**  
talk to them? flirt with them? idk  
you’ve hung out with them before

 **panicked gay**  
not like THIS

 **chan the man**  
you’re usually alone with them though  
shouldn’t that be more panic inducing?

 **panicked gay**  
i mean… yes  
but i’m very comfortable with them both, so it’s not

 **chan the man**  
exactly! so go talk to them!

 **panicked gay**  
yeah you’re right

 **chan the man**  
i know i am :/

  
__

**the world’s best potato chip**

****

**freckles**  
i would tell you this in person but monhi hyung is hogging you rn,,,  
anyway, i really like your skirt sungie! :D

 **chaotic bi**  
“mOnhI hYunG”

 **freckles**  
i meant to say minho :/

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah i know  
but thank you! :D  
i really like your skirt too! it goes well with that sweater!

 **freckles**  
thanks you :D

  
__

**panicked gay, Hoang hon Jean [private chat]**

****

**panicked gay**  
hahahha that’s gay

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
uno reverse card!

 **panicked gay**  
hey! i’m not gay! >:(

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
your screen name,,, is literally,,, gay

 **panicked gay**  
ok fine you got me there :/  
but at least i’m not the one trapping the maknae with every single limb i have!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m naturally cuddly and he’s literally Right There!  
how am i supposed to resist that??  
oh and also i hope you know what your arms are doing to minho hyung and ji

 **panicked gay**  
me??? have you SEEN them today???  
the gay panic in me is high

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
then why don’t you join them on the couch? :)

 **panicked gay**  
oh, i’m gonna  
good luck with innie by the way

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m literally in the same room as you rn

 **panicked gay**  
well whatever

  
__

**freckles, song mean [private chat]**

_freckles_ set the chat name to **cutiepies**

****

**freckles**  
seungminnie, where’d you go? :(

 **song mean**  
aww do you miss me?  
and don’t worry, i just went to the bathroom

 **freckles**  
omg nooo!  
i miss you!  
life is so boring without you here :((

 **song mean**  
dramatic  
i can literally hear you and chan hyung laughing all the way over here  
but anyway  
i’m leaving the bathroom now

 **freckles**  
yay! :D

  
__

**confident gay, song mean [private chat]**

****

**confident gay**  
i’d like to get a divorce

 **song mean**  
hey! that’s rude  
but yeah me too  
i literally met you for the first time less than two hours ago

 **confident gay**  
it’s not my fault we’re wearing the same shoes!

 **song mean**  
that has nothing with marriage to do though

 **confident gay**  
well, the rest of these children don’t agree :/  
considering they proclaimed us a married couple they second they noticed our shoes were matching

 **song mean**  
wait, so, should i give one of my shoes to jisung and the other to changbin?  
because obviously you’d like to marry them :)

 **confident gay**  
don’t call me out like this, i’m trying to divorce you!

_song mean_ set the chat name to **divorced line**

**song mean**  
there, done  
now go back and flirt with your crushes :)

 **confident gay**  
i haven’t even flirted with them today :/  
aside from that time during lunch when all three of us literally shared one braincell and started shaking our ass at the exact same time

 **song mean**  
whatever, i’m gonna go back to bothering innie :D

 **confident gay**  
yeah k.

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

****

**confident gay**  
update: we have reached the convenience store

 **chan the man**  
omg is everyone okay?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
very funny hyung  
literally all we did was walk across the street and into the convenience store

 **chan the man**  
exactly  
that’s a big task for you three

 **panicked gay**  
rude!  
but yes  
me, minho hyung and hyunjin all arrived in one piece

 **song mean**  
i thought you were three separate people? how did you arrive in one piece?

 **panicked gay**  
stop being a smartass :/  
anyway we’re gonna get food now

 **chan the man**  
okay good!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait how much tteokbokki sauce should we get?

 **confident gay**  
we’ll get five  
if that’s not enough, let’s eliminate people

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
hyUNG

 **chaotic bi**  
lmao

 **chan the man**  
…please try to return in one piece, as well :/

  
__

**young young young, song mean [private chat]**

****

**young young young**  
what’s it called when you flirt with someone, but like, in a friend way?

 **song mean**  
did you mean: a normal conversation?  
no but seriously, i have no idea

 **young young young**  
no! like, “hi i really appreciate you and i hope we can get closer! i love you (platonically)! let’s be friends!”

 **song mean**  
yeah i don’t think there’s a word for that  
it’s just a normal conversation

 **young young young**  
:/

 **song mean**  
but who do you wanna say that to?

 **young young young**  
everyone here! ^o^

 **song mean**  
o-oh…  
that’s so cute  
say it in the big gc  
or irl  
considering we’re all in the same room, you know

 **young young young**  
hmm, maybe later :D

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

****

**freckles**  
hey where did innie and sungie go?

 **chan the man**  
why are you asking the gc when we’re literally right next to you?

 **freckles**  
i’m hoping they see it, wherever they are…

 **chaotic bi**  
good news hyungs! i’m never leaving your apartment! :D

 **chan the man**  
well that’s a terrifying sentence to hear  
where are you?

 **young young young**  
yeah and i’m also staying here with sungie hyung! :D

 **chan the man**  
i’m getting increasingly more concerned now  
what room are you in?  
this apartment isn’t even that big  
how did we lose you two?

 **chaotic bi**  
my love for cats is greater than my love for people  
sorry guys  
it’s stray cats now, not stray kids

 **confident gay**  
wait you found my cats???

 **young young young**  
more like they found us  
or, two of them did ^-^

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah! we met soonie and dori! :D

 **confident gay**  
you know their names?  
but you’ve never met them before

 **chaotic bi**  
hyung,,, do you have any idea how many pictures you’ve shown me of your cats?

 **panicked gay**  
spoiler alert: A LOT of pictures

 **chaotic bi**  
yeah, so i know all their names now  
i actually think i know everything there is to know about them  
but we don’t know where doongi is :((

 **freckles**  
wait, three cats?  
i thought he had two?

 **confident gay**  
…

 **song mean**  
two? i thought he only keeps one

 **confident gay**  
…

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
HAHHAHAHA  
THE LOOK ON MINHO HYUNG’S FACE RN

 **panicked gay**  
P R I C E L E S S

 **confident gay**  
…i knew it was a good idea to divorce you, seungmin.  
and felix…  
in you i’m just disappointed :/

 **freckles**  
D:

 **confident gay**  
anyway  
if my cats like you, you’re free to visit anytime  
that offer only goes out to jisungie and innie though  
the rest of you are little shits

 **chaotic bi**  
excuse me?  
i am also a little shit and i deserve to be acknowledged as such

 **panicked gay**  
the only reason he didn’t say it was because it’s so obvious, it didn’t even have to be said

 **chaotic bi**  
:D

 **chan the man**  
your screen name says it all, sung

 **song mean**  
well, this has been a mess

 **freckles**  
wdym “has been”?  
it still is, and will continue to be until chan hyung kicks us out

 **chan the man**  
and if i don’t?

 **freckles**  
i guess we’ll just never leave then :D

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
actually, i think minho hyung is more likely to kick us out  
chan hyung is too used to us  
he’s become immune

 **panicked gay**  
…you make it sound like we’re some kind of disease

 **chan the man**  
aren’t you?

 **panicked gay**  
rUDE!  
suddenly i don’t wanna be here anymore

 **young young young**  
why are you guys still typing in the gc?  
everyone except me & sungie hyung are in the living room

 **confident gay**  
you have a point

 **chaotic bi**  
…

 **young young young**  
…  
well i guess they all put their phones away

 **chaotic bi**  
we should too  
i mean, you’re literally looking at me rn  
we’re right next to each other

 **young young young**  
A Point has been made


	18. hyungie ^.^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another chapter? already? yeah, cause i have nothing better to do :D

**wE LoVe dArk**

****

**panicked gay**  
hey hyung, you still up?

**chan the man**  
of course, lmao  
have i ever gone to bed at a reasonable time?

**panicked gay**  
no :/  
but anyway  
how are you?

**chan the man**  
are you asking to be nice or do you genuinely wanna know

**panicked gay**  
i genuinely wanna know how you’re feeling, if you’re up for talking about it  
do you wanna call?

**chan the man**  
i’d rather text if you’re okay with that  
talking is too much rn

**panicked gay**  
yeah okay  
so what’s up?

**chan the man**  
i don’t really know where to start or how to put it  
i guess i’ve just been kind of overwhelmed lately?  
work and everything  
and i guess i’ve been feeling a bit down for a while now

**panicked gay**  
how long?

**chan the man**  
not as bad as when i had depression  
but maybe a few months or smth

**panicked gay**  
oh  
feeling down how?

**chan the man**  
around the time i made this gc is around the time i realized it had been a while since i felt really happy  
i’m not sure how obvious it was to you guys  
i tried not to show it cause i didn’t wanna bother anyone

**panicked gay**  
does that have anything to do with why you made this gc?  
you said you made it because you wanted us to be friends

**chan the man**  
yeah i wanted you guys to be friends  
but i’ve also been kinda lonely since college finished  
or idk  
it’s not that there aren’t people around, i just…  
idk  
haven’t connected with people in the same way since i graduated and started working

**panicked gay**  
the fact that you realized you were struggling and took steps to help yourself is huge, hyung  
i’m proud of you for that

**chan the man**  
thanks binnie

**panicked gay**  
did it help?  
making the group chat?

**chan the man**  
yeah it actually did  
i know i seem annoyed with you a lot of the time, but i love it when you tease me or when you’re bickering with each other  
and i’m really glad that you all seem to like each other as well  
i honestly thought at least one person was gonna leave at the start

**panicked gay**  
yeah,,, we were all strangers but somehow we work really well together  
and it’s all thanks to you for making the gc!

**chan the man**  
you give me too much credit :/  
i made it cause i was feeling lonely and missed hanging out with people regularly, i’m not actually that good of a person

**panicked gay**  
??? hyung, what  
YES you are, and in so many different ways!  
yes, you made a group chat cause you were lonely  
and so what?  
all of us have more friends now  
i think you really made it better for everyone by introducing us to each other

**chan the man**  
that’s just one thing though

**panicked gay**  
do you want a list of why you’re the bestest human being alive? cause i will write you a list

**chan the man**  
no binnie no

**panicked gay**  
too bad, i would have done it

**chan the man**  
i know you would  
anyway  
thanks for listening  
or well, reading, but whatever

**panicked gay**  
you know you can tell us stuff, right? just because you’re the oldest doesn’t mean you always have to put yourself last

**chan the man**  
yeah i know, it’s just hard to remember sometimes  
but i promise i try :)

**panicked gay**  
that’s good  
so are you gonna sleep now?

**chan the man**  
i’ll try  
good night binnie <3

**panicked gay**  
good night hyung <3

  
__

**welcome to the circus**

****

**panicked gay**  
loving bang chan hours are, once again, open

**chaotic bi**  
they were never closed  
<3

**chan the man**  
yeah yeah i love you guys too  
but are we never going to change this chat name?  
it’s been this way for like a month

**song mean**  
this chat has existed for like a month

**chan the man**  
:/

_young young young_ set the chat name to **did you know my old high school has a club for furries?**

**Hoang hon Jean**  
they have a WHAT now

 **song mean**  
innie wtf?

**chan the man**  
as much as i appreciate the effort, no.  
that is not it :/

_chaotic bi_ set the chat name to **chan hyung’s boyfriend just showed me some really embarrassing pictures of him but i’m a nice guy so i won’t expose him**

**chan the man**  
he did WHAT?  
seungmin, tell your brother to stop exposing me!

 **song mean**  
tell him yourself  
you’re the one that’s dating him :/

_confident gay_ set the chat name to **holy shit i completely forgot about that**

**chan the man**  
stop using the chat name to communicate :/

 **panicked gay**  
holy shit you completely forgot about what?

**confident gay**  
That™  
the fact that chan hyung’s boyfriend is also seungmin’s brother  
mayhaps i have horrible memory, mayhaps i don’t listen to chan hyung a lot

**Hoang hon Jean**  
this conversation started with changbin hyung saying that loving bang chan hours are open, yet here we are

**chan the man**  
nah it’s cool  
i know that minho shows me his love by teasing

**confident gay**  
:]

**chaotic bi**  
aww that’s a really cute smiley :]

**song mean**  
so…  
are we just leaving the chat name like that?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah

**song mean**  
okay

  
__

**hyungie ^.^**

**young young young**  
hello hyungie!  
i have returned to our dead private chat to tell you something important

 **chan the man**  
oh okay!

**young young young**  
idk how people normally do it so i’m just gonna say it:  
i like my sex how i like my coffee

**chan the man**  
since when do you drink coffee??

**young young young**  
well, i don’t  
coffee is disgusting  
this is me trying to tell you that i’m asexual

**chan the man**  
oh okay!  
well...  
i embrACE that part of your identity :)

**young young young**  
…

**chan the man**  
sorry i’ll just… see myself out

**young young young**  
...i’ll let it slide this time

**chan the man**  
boi, you literally just came out to me by making a joke about coffee!  
you don’t get to complain about my puns :/

**young young young**  
yes but i embrace the hypocritical parts of my identity  
i’ll keep making bad jokes, but i will not stop complaining when others make them

**chan the man**  
okay wait i just got one question  
are you ace or aroace?  
like, is romantic attraction A Thing you experience?

**young young young**  
uhh, yeah  
i gotta think about it a bit more  
but i think i’m panromantic? and ace?  
if that’s a thing, to be both?

**chan the man**  
yeah sure! and it’s totally fine that you’re not sure right now  
sexuality is fluid, it’s okay if the label you think fits today doesn’t fit forever

**young young young**  
yup! i have crushes on people regardless of gender so that’s why i’m gonna call myself pan  
but i definitely have not experienced sexual attraction and i don’t feel like i will  
but i mean, i don’t know for sure that it won’t change in the future  
i’ve thought about it a lot and asexual feels right

**chan the man**  
that’s good!  
and even if you do experience other forms of attraction, that does not invalidate your asexual identity

**young young young**  
oh damn  
this got deep real fast  
this was not the conversation i was prepared to have when i texted you

**chan the man**  
hahahhaha yeah  
we don’t have to go deep into how you define sexuality and all that  
but just know that i support you and i love you!  
and i’m glad you felt comfortable to share this with me!

**young young young**  
lol thanks hyung  
i might start telling other people soon, too

**chan the man**  
i’m the first? :0

**young young young**  
yes  
please feel privileged

**chan the man**  
oh, i do :)

**young young young**  
…please don’t be insufferable about it

**chan the man**  
oh, i will be :)

**young young young**  
ugh...  
but i guess ily too (when you’re not insufferable, at least)

**chan the man**  
<3

**young young young**  
bye hyung

**chan the man**  
bye innie <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally, i have three different ways of coming out to people (both irl and online):  
> 1\. jokes/memes  
> 2\. mentioning it casually in a conversation  
> 3\. dropping huge hints, but not actually saying it
> 
> and that may or may not be reflected in this story :)


	19. spice kids

**talantad misicians**

****

**chan the man**  
hey you know what we should do

**chaotic bi**  
go to sleep at a more reasonable time?

**chan the man**  
i mean…  
yes, but also no

**panicked gay**  
what did you come here to say hyung?

**chan the man**  
look, binnie is up too!  
he has a functional sleep schedule. occasionally.  
therefore, it’s not that bad to be awake at this time

**panicked gay**  
??? it’s 1 am

**chan the man**  
yet here we are :/

**chaotic bi**  
what were you gonna say chan hyung?  
what should we do?

**chan the man**  
make a song!

**panicked gay**  
nOT ANOTHER WOW!!  
i mean  
uhh  
we’ve made plenty of songs together already, so that’s nothing new  
got something specific in mind?

**chan the man**  
you should make a song  
with me  
in my studio :)

**chaotic bi**  
your  
you  
it’s  
uuh ?

**panicked gay**  
you have a studio??

**chan the man**  
so you know how i’ve been interning with music producers?  
yeah  
that’s no longer an internship :)

**chaotic bi**  
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK  
HYUNG YOU’RE GREAT  
YOU’RE A MUSIC PRODUCER?  
A REAL???

**chan the man**  
calm down child  
but yeah, it seems like i get to stay for real!

**chaotic bi**  
OH DAMN  
i wish i wasn’t sleep-deprived so that i could actually phrase myself well  
but congratulations!! you really really deserve it!!

**panicked gay**  
yeah!!!!  
good job hyung!

**chan the man**  
thanks guys!  
i’m gonna show you around the studio as soon as possible

**panicked gay**  
not right now though  
it’s still 2am

**chan the man**  
yeah, i wasn’t gonna  
i’ve got some common sense :/

**chaotic bi**  
i should be yelling at you to go to bed, but that would be hypocritical since i’m awake too

**chan the man**  
yeah actually...  
why aren’t you asleep?

**chaotic bi**  
i cried for 20 minutes because i realized we had no noodles at home and thinking about going to the convenience store made me very anxious  
after that i couldn’t fall asleep :)

**panicked gay**  
oh no are you okay???

**chaotic bi**  
nah, but it be like that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**chan the man**  
jisung, no…  
it don’t be like that

**panicked gay**  
ha! i know where your dorm is!

**chan the man**  
oh?

**chaotic bi**  
wait what  
it’s 2 am  
you can’t just run over to my dorm because i got a little anxious over something completely irrational and had a mental breakdown in the middle of the night

**chan the man**  
yes he can?

**chaotic bi**  
you’re supporting this???

**chan the man**  
yes i am :)

**panicked gay**  
i will reach you in about 5 minutes

**chaotic bi**  
slightly worried about you running around the streets at 2 am, but grateful that you’re coming over <3

**chan the man**  
oh FUCK no  
istg, that boy has some sixth sense when it comes to you two :/

**chaotic bi**  
huh ???

**chan the man**  
minho seriously woke up  
he must have sensed something was wrong  
now he’s asking who i’m texting

**panicked gay**  
show him your phone  
minho hyung!  
jisungie is sad and having anxiety!

**chan the man**  
ohmygod i can’t believe you didn’t call me immediately!!!  
btw this is minho now

**panicked gay**  
if you run we could get there at the same time!

**chan the man**  
bet!  
//minho

**chaotic bi**  
no shit, i thought chan hyung was typing that

**chan the man**  
:/  
well minho gave me my phone back  
aaaand now he’s out the door  
i’m not sure if he even changed out of his sleeping clothes  
is this what being a parent feels like??

**panicked gay**  
you should be asking yourself that question hyung  
you’re the one with seven children

**chan the man**  
oh yeah, i guess i am  
and i am entrusting you and minho with my first-born for the night  
please take great care of him

**chaotic bi**  
how am i your first-born? i’m not the oldest

**chan the man**  
no but you’re the first child that i acquired

**panicked gay**  
“child that i acquired” that makes it sound like you kidnapped him

**chan the man**  
okay let’s not get technical here  
just go!

**panicked gay**  
wait, are you saying you technically kidnapped him???

**chan the man**  
i’m not saying anything  
go hug jisung instead

**panicked gay**  
yeah i will but i wanna know if you kidnapped him or not

**chaotic bi**  
yes he did, and i will tell you the full story once you get here  
chan hyung is a weird man  
and once upon a time, he was a weird child  
we should be surprised he’s never been arrested

**panicked gay**  
oookay…  
i guess i’ll see you in a minute!

  
__

**holy shit i completely forgot about that**

****

**chaotic bi**  
i love One (1) tiny muscle man <3  
and i also love One (1) taller muscle man <3  
goodnight everyone <3

  
__

**holy shit i completely forgot about that**

****

**song mean**  
i’m gonna jump

**freckles**  
do a flip!

**chan the man**  
no, don’t jump!  
you could die!

**song mean**  
bet  
also, i didn’t even say where i was gonna jump  
maybe i was just gonna stand on the counter in the kitchen and jump down to the floor

**Hoang hon Jean**  
don’t do that!  
i did once and my knee hurt for a week straight afterwards

**young young young**  
now why would you do that

**Hoang hon Jean**  
honestly?  
i was bored and wanted to see if i could reach the kitchen ceiling (i could!)  
and then i wanted to take the fastest way down which meant jumping down from the counter  
which in retrospect was not a good idea…

**freckles**  
oh boy that’s wild  
but seungmo  
why do u wanna jump?

**song mean**  
Stress™

**freckles**  
ah  
sad but relatable

**song mean**  
why the FUCK did i think it was a good idea to study psychology???

**Hoang hon Jean**  
because it’s something you’re interested in?

**song mean**  
yeah that’s right :/  
still stressful though

**freckles**  
do you want help to study?  
i was gonna go to that cafe later today to work on a paper

**song mean**  
can i come with you?

**freckles**  
yeah i’d love that ^.^

**Hoang hon Jean**  
stray kids?  
more like STRESS kids!

**young young young**  
hyung no

**Hoang hon Jean**  
:(  
hey let’s change the chat name again  
i can’t recognize this group chat right now

**confident gay**  
“holy shit i completely forgot about that”  
who even made that the chat name???

**chaotic bi**  
you did, hyung…

**confident gay**  
oh,,, well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_chan the man_ set the chat name to **spice kids**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
HAHAHHAHA

**young young young**  
wow i love that

**chaotic bi**  
everyone loves that!

**panicked gay**  
thanks hyung  
that’s great

**confident gay**  
lmaoooo

  
__

**cutiepies**

****

**freckles**  
does 3pm work for you? :D

**song mean**  
yeah sure  
should we meet at the cafe?

**freckles**  
yeah ^o^  
that good?

**song mean**  
yup :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a couple actually gets together in the next chapter, ahhahah i promise the tags aren't just there for attention :p


	20. a bunch of jisung antis

**road work ahead?**

****

**chaotic bi**  
i am seriously questioning myself right now,,,  
this is not the chat i should come to for this kind of advice but  
how do i ask someone out?

 **freckles**  
OHMYGOD IT’S HAPPENING

 **song mean**  
STAY CALM EVERYONE!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
EVERYONE  
STAY  
FUCKING  
CALM!!!!!!!!

 **chaotic bi**  
…yeah nevermind  
i’ll just ask chan hyung

 **freckles**  
oh no, you won’t!

 **song mean**  
we’re already involved now! you can’t just leave us for chan hyung!

 **chaotic bi**  
watch me

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
hey! we’ve got plenty of good ideas >:(  
jisung

 **freckles**  
jisung?

 **song mean**  
jisung…?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait did he really leave

 **freckles**  
seriously???  
after everything we’ve been through…

 **song mean**  
can you blame him though

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i mean…  
no  
i’m surprised he came to us in the first place

 **freckles**  
yeah same

  
__

**that vine where the kid has a knife and the mom f r e a k s**

****

**chaotic bi**  
i tried to ask 00 line for advice but they just started freaking out  
so i have come to you, my favoritest and most trustworthy hyung ^-^

 **chan the man**  
hello sunshine child

 **chaotic bi**  
o-oh?

_chaotic bi_ changed their name to sunshine

**sunshine**  
^o^

 **chan the man**  
cute...  
so what did you want advice about?

 **sunshine**  
how do you ask someone out?  
or, specifically, two someones

 **chan the man**  
wAIT YOU’RE GONNA ASK OUT MINBIN?  
holy shit i never thought the day would come when one of you finally stepped up

 **sunshine**  
yeah yeah  
so advice?

 **chan the man**  
i am a proud father :’)  
tbh i didn’t think you would be the one to take the first step  
i am pleasantly surprised  
and so so happy about this development

 **sunshine**  
hyung

 **chan the man**  
oh man, you’re really growing up  
i remember meeting you when you were just a tiny little bean  
oh, the memories...

 **sunshine**  
oh for fuck’s sake  
don’t tell me i have to go to minho hyung and changbin hyung for advice

 **chan the man**  
my CHILD  
my CHILDREN, DATING  
I’M IN T E A R S

 **sunshine**  
yeah BYE HYUNG

  
__

**minbinsung**

****

**sunshine**  
istg, everyone in this family hates me :/  
they’re all just a bunch of jisung antis

 **confident gay**  
huh?

 **panicked gay**  
no we don’t! we love you!

 **confident gay**  
yeah!  
and what happened to your name?

 **sunshine**  
00 line have failed me  
chan hyung has failed me

 **confident gay**  
we’re still here

 **panicked gay**  
yes!  
and innie too (probably)  
idk what you’re talking about but we’re here

 **sunshine**  
oh! innie! :D  
i love that little dude!

 **confident gay**  
…are you good?

 **sunshine**  
bye hyungs! :D  
thanks for your help!

 **panicked gay**  
we didn’t do shit, but ok  
good luck (?)

  
__

**sunshine, young young young [private chat]**

_sunshine_ set the chat name to **my only friend**

****

**sunshine**  
innie, everyone else hates me

 **young young young**  
lol same

 **sunshine**  
…

 **young young young**  
hahhaha just kidding ^.^  
what do you want hyungie?

 **sunshine**  
advice  
do you wanna give me advice?

 **young young young**  
oh! people rarely come to me for advice  
but yeah i’d love to help  
so what’s up?

 **sunshine**  
idk if you know this, but i have a crush on minho hyung and changbin hyung

 **young young young**  
boi… everyone and their mom knows that

 **sunshine**  
:/  
okay so anyway  
i wanna ask them out  
like, on a date  
and i tried asking 00 line how to ask someone out but they just freaked  
and then i tried chan hyung but he lost his shit over me growing up

 **young young young**  
you should have come to me from the start!  
i’ve got this  
i may be an ace with no real experience in relationships, but i know i’m gonna be really good at this!

 **sunshine**  
do you mean ace as in asexual or ace as in that you’re acing something? like being really good at it?

 **young young young**  
oh  
i meant asexual but ace is also cool!  
omg i need to make that joke sometime

 **sunshine**  
lmao  
so… advice? :]

 **young young young**  
are you thinking you’re gonna ask them out face to face or over text?

 **sunshine**  
face to face

 **young young young**  
okay!  
step one: set up a meeting

 **sunshine**  
i’m not trying to make a business deal with them…

 **young young young**  
i didn’t mean a business meeting, but like a hangout

 **sunshine**  
oooh that makes more sense  
yeah good

 **young young young**  
step two:  
okay i’m gonna give up on steps cause idk which order this should be done in  
but anyway  
decide what place you wanna be when you ask  
you know, gotta have the right setting

 **sunshine**  
that’s a really good question

 **young young young**  
i have my reasons to believe they’re gonna say yes, but just as a precaution, you should be some place you can leave  
just in case they’d say no, or it doesn’t go smoothly  
not because that’s gonna happen but because you’d feel safer knowing that you can leave

 **sunshine**  
good points  
so, probably not in my dorm?

 **young young young**  
unless you feel better being in a safe place like that?

 **sunshine**  
nah i think i’d rather go out then  
you made a good point

 **young young young**  
are you worried they’re gonna say no?  
like, am i making it worse by pointing out that’s a possibility?

 **sunshine**  
worried? a tiny bit  
but mentioning it doesn’t make anything worse  
it’s good that you’re realistic innie :)

 **young young young**  
thanks hyung ^.^  
so find a location  
doesn’t have to be super romantic, but maybe not a dumpster if you get what i mean?

 **sunshine**  
you’re setting the bar so low…  
but yeah that’s absolutely right  
i think maybe the music studio on campus could be good?  
that’s where i met them both the first time

 **young young young**  
WOAH  
i said it doesn’t have to be romantic but that is so romantic and honestly perfect  
wow, your mind!

 **sunshine**  
hahahha thanks innie  
if i get together with them, i’m giving you 50% of the credit for it happening!

 **young young young**  
as you should!

 **sunshine**  
lmao  
what’s next in your guide?

 **young young young**  
plan it out  
or well, don’t plan it out because things are not gonna go to plan once you actually get there, but have an idea of what you wanna say/do once you see them

 **sunshine**  
that’s cool, i’m better at improvising anyway

 **young young young**  
perfect!  
then i just have some questions  
do you wanna talk a little bit first or get straight to the point with them?

 **sunshine**  
i mean… the sooner the better, but i’m not gonna ignore their greetings and just blurt out “dAtE mE??” before even saying hello

 **young young young**  
good answer  
how are you gonna phrase yourself?  
like, not word by word, but what are you gonna include when you ask?  
is it gonna be a confession or just “do you wanna go on a date”?

 **sunshine**  
oh damn i had not thought about that  
maybe i’ll tell them i’ve been crushing on them both?  
so both a confession and then asking them out

 **young young young**  
yeah that’s good!

 **sunshine**  
and i feel like i should use the word “date” so they don’t misunderstand and think i’m asking them to hang out

 **young young young**  
also very good  
i think you’re ready

 **sungshine**  
innie thank you so much  
i love you <3

 **young young young**  
yeah yeah  
under normal circumstances i would have responded with “eww” but i guess… i love you too hyungie

 **sunshine**  
aww!!!

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**sunshine**  
i don’t care what y’all say  
innie is the real mvp here

 **young young young**  
yes!!! i am!!!

 **confident gay**  
jisungie, i am SO confused right now

 **panicked gay**  
same  
you just showed up in our gc and was like “everyone hates me” and the ran away to go talk to innie?

 **confident gay**  
are you OKAY?  
i’m half concerned, half annoyed with you

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
lmaooo  
good luck explaining this one

 **chan the man**  
come on my child, you can do this!

 **freckles**  
we’ve got you’re back!

 **song mean**  
good luck jisung!

 **panicked gay**  
what the fuck does everyone else know that i don’t???  
or well, me and minho hyung

 **sunshine**  
okay it’s not actually something bad  
i was literally just asking them for advice  
which 80% of them failed to do…  
anyway  
private chat?

 **confident gay**  
sure

 **panicked gay**  
yeah

  
__

**minbinsung**

****

**sunshine**  
can we meet in the music studio in like fifteen minutes?  
i have things to tell you ^.^

 **panicked gay**  
i really appreciate you putting a cute smiley after that sentence  
otherwise i would have been very panicked right now

 **confident gay**  
ahhahhah same  
but yeah i can be there

 **panicked gay**  
me too

 **sunshine**  
good! i’ll see you soon then! :D

  
__

**spice kids**

_confident gay_ changed their name to cat man

_panicked gay_ changed their name to edgelord

**edgelord**  
minho hyung made me do it :/

 **cat man**  
yeah but on another note  
i have more boyfriends than chan hyung now ;)

 **chan the man**  
it’s not a competition, minho  
wAIT  
YOU HAVE BOYFRIENDS???

 **freckles**  
OH WORM?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
jisung really did it??? :o

 **song mean**  
he asked you out?  
oh damn  
i wasn’t sure he’d actually do it

 **sunshine**  
why does no one have any faith in me? :|

 **young young young**  
congrats hyungs, i’m so happy for you!! :D

 **cat man**  
thank you to innie and absolutely no one else!  
jisungie told us the story behind how he asked for advice

 **edgelord**  
i can’t believe no one here had any faith in that us three would get together :/

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
uhh,,,  
have you seen your attempts at flirting w each other?

 **cat man**  
yeah? they were clearly more effective than everyone else here :)

 **young young young**  
OOOOH  
HE RLY WENT THERE

 **freckles**  
hEY

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
Don’t attack us like this!!

 **chan the man**  
i mean… he’s right  
they’re the ones in a relationship rn

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah whatever i’m leaving :/  
good job on your relationship  
i bet you’re gonna be insufferable from now on

 **song mean**  
are you saying they haven’t been insufferable before?

 **freckles**  
A Point  
but i’m happy for you three! ^o^

 **sunshine**  
thanks lix! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeongin best boy, sorry i don't make the rules


	21. pornhub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "pornhub would be delighted to have me!" -hwang hyunjin   
> "we used to have roommates, but we ate them" -han jisung   
> "don't eat your roommates!" -bang chan

**spice kids**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
today my teacher said he doesn’t care how we hand in our work as long as he can read the text  
so i asked if i could submit it through the comment section on pornhub :)

**chan the man**  
…as usual, my expectations when i open this chat are not exceeded :/

**song mean**  
hyunjin, what the fuck

**Hoang hon Jean**  
the funniest part was that he said yes

**young young young**  
there’s a comment section on pornhub? :o  
i did not know that

**chan the man**  
good, you shouldn’t

**song mean**  
what work did you submit through pornhub?  
i thought you were an art major  
please don’t tell me you posted an art project on pornhub…

**Hoang hon Jean**  
no, it was for art history! i wrote a great text  
honestly, pornhub would be delighted to have me!

**cat man**  
that’s sounds so bad out of context

**edgelord**  
i don’t think it sounds much better in context…

**chan the man**  
these are things i didn’t think i would ever hear anyone say  
but thanks to you guys, i hear a bunch of weird shit on the daily

**cat man**  
that’s right!

**chan the man**  
it wasn’t a compliment

**song mean**  
i think we should take a moment to consider the fact that hyunjin’s teacher actually said he was allowed to submit his work through pornhub  
like, what goes on in the art department?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
tons of weird shit, lemme tell you  
submitting work through pornhub isn’t even that special

**song mean**  
i’m not sure i want to know what you mean by that

**cat man**  
lmao  
dance majors are the same  
last week a girl was carrying around a neon pink cardboard box to sit in for all of her classes and no one batted an eye  
she just chilled at the back of the room in a neon pink cardboard box

**young young young**  
is that why all the art/performance majors in this group are the way that they are?  
because of their major?

**chan the man**  
oh no, their weirdness started long before they got to college

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh man  
now i also want a neon pink cardboard box to sit in during class!

**edgelord**  
hyunjin please  
have some dignity

**chan the man**  
exactly! thank you changbin

**edgelord**  
you’re an art major, you can’t show up with a neon pink box  
at least make the design a bit more interesting

**chan the man**  
…

**cat man**  
changbin has a point!  
have some dignity

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh yeah you’re right  
does anyone here have a cardboard box i could paint? :D

**young young young**  
sorry, no

**song mean**  
nope

**chan the man**  
i don’t think so

**edgelord**  
nah

**cat man**  
i live with chan so my answer is the same

**Hoang hon Jean**  
okay :(  
thanks anyway guys

**cat man**  
but not everyone has answered yet

**chan the man**  
hang on a minute…  
there’s been a suspicious lack of jilix in this chat…  
they have no reason to be this quiet,  
not both of them at the same time

**freckles**  
we have plenty of cardboard boxes you could borrow hyunjinnie! :D

**sunshine**  
yeah that’s right! you can come to our dorm whenever and pick one up! :D

**edgelord**  
“we”?

**chan the man**  
“oUR dorm”???  
don’t both of you already have roommates?

**sunshine**  
yeah we used to have roommates, but we ate them

**freckles**  
yup  
it wasn’t even that hard  
only a bit hard to digest

**chan the man**  
don’t eat your roommates!

**sunshine**  
jisung & chenle are better off with each other

**freckles**  
now i won’t have to walk in on them making out again!  
i’ve already been traumatized enough

**song mean**  
chenle? isn’t that felix’s roommate?

**freckles**  
ex-roommate  
i ate him, remember?

**cat man**  
okay so they switched their roommates so chenle & the other jisung (park jisung i think) live together, and felix lives with our jisung (hannie)  
is that right?

**freckles**  
oh yeah i guess it is ahahhaha

**chan the man**  
so you’re telling me that jilix live together now?  
was my stress not already high enough? :/

**sunshine**  
i exist to make your life miserable lmao

**freckles**  
chan hyung ily ^.^  
do not worry, we will be good

**chan the man**  
i do not trust you, but i shall cease my complaints

**Hoang hon Jean**  
!!!

**chan the man**  
no one else is gonna move in with someone from this gc, right?  
i’ve seen you guys together now and it was a mess

**young young young**  
well i’m definitely not moving  
i like beomgyu more than you guys

**Hoang hon Jean**  
beomgyu? :o

**young young young**  
yeah, i share a dorm with him ^-^

**sunshine**  
oh? you like him even more than you like […]?

**young young young**  
noooo i told you that in confidence!  
but i’m not in […] with […]!  
i don’t even have a […] on […]!

**freckles**  
ohohoh

**sunshine**  
then why did you tell me about […]?  
you said […] was your […] […]

**edgelord**  
my brain hurts from all this

**song mean**  
same  
do they even understand it themselves?

**freckles**  
i think i know what they’re talking about ;)

**young young young**  
omg no  
don’t tell anyone

**freckles**  
don’t worry, i won’t tell […] that you […] […]

**young young young**  
thanks hyung  
i’m leaving now

**freckles**  
noo don’t goo  
oh wait chenle just called me  
hahhaha i’m gonna go too! :D

**cat man**  
you literally just moved apart and you’re already going back to chenle  
smh :/

**freckles**  
and what about it  
jisung is hanging out with jisung anyway :(

**edgelord**  
this is so confusing…

**freckles**  
*han jisung is hanging out with **park jisung anyway :)

**chan the man**  
yeah ok whatever  
everyone go away

**edgelord**  
sure, we’ll leave  
hey minho hyung  
wanna hang out?

**cat man**  
sure thing

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh man, i wish i had friends to hang out with :(

**young young young**  
i’ll hang out with you hyung!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
omg okay!  
i’m coming to your dorm :D

**young young young**  
how do you know where that is?  
wait  
i don’t actually wanna know how

**Hoang hon Jean**  
smart choice  
i’ll be there in ten :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the girl in my class who asked our english teacher if she could write her essay on pornhub (and shoutout to my teacher for actually saying yes, lmao)


	22. jk, unless…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't sure if i was gonna post with everything going on but taking a step back is not the same as turning away and i think a lot of people rely on creative content to do that (take a step back/de-stress). but i'm still gonna add links in the end notes for blm. please do what you can to support

**Hoang hon Jean, young young young [private chat]**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
what if we cuddled… while holding hands… sitting under a blanket…  
hahhaha just kidding!  
unless…?

**young young young**  
i’d cuddle you if you asked

**Hoang hon Jean**  
*surprised pikachu face*  
wow okay  
what if we also… ᵏᶦˢˢᵉᵈ each other…  
hahhahhahahhahah i’m joking!!!  
unless…?

**young young young**  
honestly idk about kissing  
i’m still working on the whole boundaries thing

**Hoang hon Jean**  
wait, what boundaries?

**young young young**  
oh shit oh damn oh no  
that’s not what i meant to say  
ummm

**Hoang hon Jean**  
no it’s okay you don’t have to explain yourself  
hahahah i was joking

**young young young**  
oh?  
i wasn’t :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
wait what  
what are you saying right now?  
i’m not following

**young young young**  
well ummm i wanna tell you something that i’ve been kinda…  
not scared, but worried to tell you because it matters a lot to me what you think about me

**Hoang hon Jean**  
innie, at this point i think it’s actually impossible for me to dislike anything about you

**young young young**  
that’s cute ^o^  
okay so anyway  
i don’t know if you’re serious when you talk about kissing me but i maybe kind of like you a bit more than platonically and i’ve been told by Sources that it could be good to tell you that, but i need you to know something first and it’s totally fine if it makes you not interested in me after hahah, i just don’t wanna make things weird between us and i think you should know about if first

**Hoang hon Jean**  
innie you can just say it  
...wait  
you like me??? :o

**young young young**  
yes but i need to tell you something before you respond to that

**Hoang hon Jean**  
okay okay  
tell me

**young young young**  
and it’s totally fine if you’re not interested after this, or if you think it’s weird or something because i like you

**Hoang hon Jean**  
it’s okay, just say it!

**young young young**  
okay hyung  
so, i’m asexual

**Hoang hon Jean**  
that’s what you wanted to tell me?

**young young young**  
yeah

**Hoang hon Jean**  
innie… ohmygod, i love you  
why did you think i would be any less interested after knowing that?  
it’s not like i’m here for the sex, i honestly could not care less about that  
if you like me and i like you, that’s all i care about

**young young young**  
wait seriously

**Hoang hon Jean**  
holy hell you’re adorable and kind of dumb (not to invalidate your insecurities because you have the right to feel however you feel!!!) and i really like you  
no i don’t like you any less now  
and no, i’m not less interested  
hang on i’m coming over so i can tell you this in person

**young young young**  
oh wow  
hahahh yeah i’m sorry it probably seems like a stupid thing to be insecure over  
and i’m sorry if i made it seem like you’re just interested in me for sex

**Hoang hon Jean**  
no no it’s not dumb! and no, you didn’t make it seem that way, don’t worry about it <3  
i completely understand where you’re coming from and it’s a completely valid thing to feel insecure over  
i’m just saying this to let you know it’s not true  
and we’ll have to figure out the whole boundary thing, but i’m okay with that too  
i respect you, and you respect me  
we don’t need much more to make it work

**young young young**  
thank you hyung <3

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m on my way over right now <3  
gotta ask you out in person  
and also tell you how fucking wonderful you are  
(excuse my language)

**young young young**  
omg stop  
your support is overwhelming me

**Hoang hon Jean**  
good ^o^

**young young young**  
oh boy i can’t wait to hug you

**Hoang hon Jean**  
two minutes!

**young young young**  
see you soon :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
<3

_Hoang hon Jean_ set the chat name to **boyfriends <33**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> justice for george floyd: http://chng.it/6Lp4bYYyW2
> 
> ban teargas: http://chng.it/LwGdzTMk5k
> 
> donate for free (by streaming): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgLa25fDHM
> 
> resources: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/


	23. felix protection squad

**spice kids**

****

**sunshine**  
hahah i just misspelled my own name on a test :’)  
i wish to be reverse born

**freckles**  
you wish to be sucked into a vagina? :o

**sunshine**  
no what the fuck???  
i wish to be murdered

**chan the man**  
felix…  
i will stand here and judge you silently

**freckles**  
oh fuck, i did not intend for this to happen

**edgelord**  
moving past that unsettling topic…  
what test? how did you spell your name?

**sunshine**  
a music theory test :’)

**song mean**  
you have tests in music theory?  
lol that sucks

**sunshine**  
yeah i hate it  
there’s always this one part where the teacher plays different melodies and we have to write them with sheet music

**chan the man**  
they expect you to have perfect pitch???

**sunshine**  
no, the teacher is like “write this melody using relative pitch, the first note is a G, good luck figuring out the rest of it hahhaha you dumb fucks”

**song mean**  
so how did you spell your name then  
is it embarrassing?

**sunshine**  
uhm yeah  
i wrote jisuck

**cat man**  
oh damn

**edgelord**  
HAHAHHAHA

**Hoang hon Jean**  
LMAO

**freckles**  
omg  
you actually wrote that? and on a test?

**young young young**  
does your music theory teacher like you, or will it be bad when they see it?  
btw i’m losing my shit laughing  
don’t be fooled by these calm and collected messages

**Hoang hon Jean**  
^^can confirm

**sunshine**  
oh she definitely does not like me  
i can’t wait for her judgmental stare whenever we get these tests back :’)

**freckles**  
big oof  
sounds like my english prof :’)

**sunshine**  
oh damn, i hate that man

**freckles**  
but you’ve never met him though?

**sunshine**  
yeah well  
you’ve ranted to me about him, so that makes me qualified to say that i hate him :)

**chan the man**  
he’s that bad?

**freckles**  
yup, he Does Not like me at all :D

**song mean**  
i’m sorry, what?  
you can’t dislike felix  
that’s illegal

**freckles**  
hhahaha thanks, i appreciate the sentiment

**sunshine**  
i will kick him in the shins!!! >.<  
he can’t just Not like you

**freckles**  
yeah sorry sungie but i don’t he’s gonna like you any more than he likes me

**sunshine**  
huh

**freckles**  
yeah  
once, i was requesting extra time on an assignment and i mentioned my dyslexia  
and he tried to tell me that i wouldn’t have dyslexia if i just applied myself more  
so i don’t think he’ll like you either :/

**chan the man**  
what the FUCK

**sunshine**  
okay  
gimme name and address  
I Will kick him in the shins  
not even worried about it

**song mean**  
i’m with jisung  
i think we should kill him

**edgelord**  
he never said we should kill him though…?

**chan the man**  
seungmin is right  
murder is the only answer  
lix, we need an address

**freckles**  
no guys what the fuck  
don’t murder him!

**song mean**  
i’m sorry, it’s the only logical thing to do here  
he was rude and ignorant to you, so we need to murder him  
now give us the address!

**freckles**  
baby please

**cat man**  
“baby”

**edgelord**  
bAbY

**sunshine**  
BABY

**freckles**  
stfu, i never said that

**edgelord**  
you just did though…?

**freckles**  
oh really? where’s your proof?

**chan the man**  
do you think i can hack the school network to get his address?  
or maybe i could just ask him myself  
i bet i could come up with a believable story to get his address

**freckles**  
what’s with you guys and killing people?  
i’m getting kinda worried

**edgelord**  
same  
i always thought minho hyung would be the first person here to kill someone

**cat man**  
aww thanks babe <3

**edgelord**  
just speaking the truth <3

**Hoang hon Jean**  
eww  
i hate them :/

**young young young**  
boi… you’re literally cuddling me right now

**freckles**  
yes innie! go on and expose his hypocritical ass!  
also  
since when do you accept cuddles  
you push me off whenever i attempt :/

**Hoang hon Jean**  
sorry lix, Boyfriend Privileges :)

**song mean**  
wait, you’re dating him?

**chan the man**  
holy shit  
this is moving too fast  
before i know it, all my children will be in a relationship…  
but i’m happy for you two!

**sunshine**  
congratulations on finally sorting your shit out and getting together!

**cat man**  
^what he said

**edgelord**  
same, but in a nicer way

**young young young**  
thanks guys :D  
and yeah we’re boyfriends now ^.^

**chan the man**  
oh man  
i can’t believe i introduced you guys to each other…

**Hoang hon Jean**  
thanks for helping us get together! ^.^

**chan the man**  
:/  
i can’t believe i accidentally made two relationships happen by making this gc

**sunshine**  
i would thank you, but the only one i’m thankful for when it comes to getting together with minho hyung and changbin hyung is innie  
the rest of your are little shits

**chan the man**  
yeah that’s fair  
but at least seungmin and felix are still innocent!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hyung, we can still be innocent even though we’re in a relationship  
just look at jeongin! a baby!

**sunshine**  
uhh speak for yourself

**cat man**  
be gay, do crime, smoke weed and fuck shit up.  
those are the words i live by  
i have no innocence left in me

**edgelord**  
tbh if anyone smoked weed i would bet on chan hyung  
definitely not minho hyung

**song mean**  
yeah same  
chan hyung has more stoner vibes

**chan the man**  
guys what the fuck

**freckles**  
yeah i agree  
him or changbin hyung

**edgelord**  
excuse you

**cat man**  
yeah tbh i wouldn’t be surprised to know that binnie is constantly high  
or maybe it’s just 3racha in general

**Hoang hon Jean**  
but changbin hyung always seems so put together  
it’s almost like he has his life organized

**sunshine**  
i hope that’s a joke  
if you think changbin hyung is put together, you’ve obviously never seen his powerpoint on why minho hyung is the illuminati

**chan the man**  
his what now

**cat man**  
his powerpoint!  
it’s actually very informative

**sunshine**  
his only source is the oninion?  
fuck  
inion  
why doesn’t autocorrect do its job anymore??????  
the oinoinio

**cat man**  
it’s ok, we know what you mean

**chan the man**  
well… at least we’ve established that you three aren’t innocent  
and i’d rather not see changbin’s powerpoint

**freckles**  
wow, i can’t believe chan hyung thinks me and seungmin are innocent

  
__

**cutiepies**

****

**freckles**  
hahhaha should we tell them?

**song mean**  
no, let’s confuse everyone

**freckles**  
lol okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was trying to write onion but it didn't work so i just let jisung keep the misspellings, lmao


	24. roller skate date

**spice kids**

****

**cat man**  
imagine this:  
you’re at a roller skate rink  
you yourself are a decent skater  
to your left, there’s a scaredy cat who’s skating for the first time and wants to pause every other second, and he moves at the speed of a turtle  
to your right, there’s another boy who hasn’t skated before, but he’s a chaotic boi with no fear and no self-preservation skills and he constantly wants to go faster  
plot twist: they’re both super cute  
plot twist: you’re on a date with them  
you’re in the middle and holding both of their hands as you skate  
how do you deal???

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh man  
y/n is quaking

**freckles**  
wait so is minho hyung y/n?  
or are the other two boys y/n?

**young young young**  
i think minho hyung is

**cat man**  
yeah that’s right  
i’m y/n  
chaotic speedster boi is jisungie  
careful turtle is changbinnie

**chan the man**  
are you three on a date rn?  
wait, you’re not ignoring them, right???

**cat man**  
no no we took a break from skating!  
but yeah we’re on a date

**song mean**  
sounds like it’s a mess  
i wouldn’t be surprised if one you dies, lol

**young young young**  
my money is on jisung hyung  
(no offense)

**sunshine**  
lmao same

**chan the man**  
??? that’s not very reassuring

**edgelord**  
well, jisung doesn’t know how to break, so he just crashes into things when he wants to stop

**cat man**  
he took two chill laps in the beginning when he was still learning, and then started speeding as soon as he got the hang of it

**freckles**  
mood, lmao

**young young young**  
the hospital is also a potential date location

**Hoang hon Jean**  
LMAO

**sunshine**  
we’re not going to the hospital :(  
i’m being careful!

**cat man**  
yeah sure

**sunshine**  
:c

**edgelord**  
don’t worry, we still like you even if you’re hyperactive and have no self-preservation skills <3

**cat man**  
we could always just wrap him in bubble wrap

**chan the man**  
you should

**sunshine**  
oh wow thanks guys  
and binnie hyung, i still like you even if you’re a scaredy cat and skate way too slow <3

**edgelord**  
thank you jisung

**song mean**  
i can’t tell if they’re insulting or complimenting each other  
i’m gonna assume it’s a little bit of both

**freckles**  
yes! the best type of compliment

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i really don’t agree with that, but ok  
you do you

  
__

**road work ahead?**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey! you’re on a date!

**song mean**  
no

**freckles**  
no

**sunshine**  
yeah but don’t ask how i did it  
it was all thanks to innie

**Hoang hon Jean**  
well how did you plan it?  
how did you decide where to go

**song mean**  
…are you looking for suggestions?

**freckles**  
omg are you gonna take innie out on a dATE??  
my SON???

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh damn  
i should’ve known this gc would be entirely unhelpful  
will chan hyung freak out if i ask him?

**sunshine**  
yeah probably

**freckles**  
no he’s nice, he gave me a good answer when i asked

**sunshine**  
wait  
what did you ask him?  
lix

**freckles**  
uhh NOTHING

**sunshine**  
sounds like SOMETHING to me!

**freckles**  
oh man  
seungmin forgive me

**sunshine**  
hey we live together!  
i’m barging into your room in 5  
4  
3  
2  
1

**freckles**  
nO PLEAAKJDHSHFGSERKU

**Hoang hon Jean**  
let’s wear pink at their funeral

**song mean**  
agreed :)  
wait did you come here for advice?  
or date ideas?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
the second one

**song mean**  
oh well  
you could just google cute date ideas

**Hoang hon Jean**  
but how do i know if he’ll like it!

**song mean**  
ask him? maybe  
idk just a suggestion

**Hoang hon Jean**  
but i wanna make it a surprise :(

**song mean**  
oh okay then  
conspire with his friends

**Hoang hon Jean**  
huh?

**song mean**  
ask one of his friends about a place he likes and then take him there

**Hoang hon Jean**  
ohh that’s kinda smart  
but his friends might tell him  
wait  
aren’t you his friend???

**song mean**  
i mean yes, but not before the group chat  
you should ask someone who’s known him longer

**Hoang hon Jean**  
smart!  
but who?

**song mean**  
idk… his roommate?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
ooohhh

  
__

**boyfriends <33**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey are you home?

**young young young**  
no i have class for another hour :(  
why?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh okay good!

**young young young**  
wait what  
why?  
hyunjin hyung  
hyunjin  
hyunjin  
hey???

**Hoang hon Jean**  
chill! it’s not like i’m gonna break into your dorm while you’re in class or anything  
hahahha  
that would be ridiculous  
yeah totally

**young young young**  
hey hyunijn where are you right now

**Hoang hon Jean**  
just chilling  
sorry i gotta go!

**young young young**  
hey no wait  
where are you going

**Hoang hon Jean**  
love you talk to you later bYE!

**young young young**  
hyung nO!

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**cat man**  
luckily, no one died <3

**chan the man**  
hey what the fuck  
i’m shaking what does that mean?  
minho please

**edgelord**  
oh nothing  
he’s just being his usual ominous self

**cat man**  
don’t say it like that, you love it <3

**edgelord**  
i don’t <3

**sunshine**  
i do <3

**cat man**  
aww jisung <3  
grr changbin edgelord  
anyway  
minho just meant that no one died while we were skating  
which is quite the accomplishment if you ask me

**sunshine**  
sk8 bois  
milkshaaake

**chan the man**  
uhh… What?

**cat man**  
we got milkshakes after skating  
not sure why that was relevant but yeah :)

**edgelord**  
stream milkshake by red velvet!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
omg t a s t e!

**edgelord**  
oh yeah  
stream taste by rv too

**song mean**  
ooookay…  
so did innie get out of class yet?  
friday afternoons are the worst time to be in school  
i’m praying for him

**young young young**  
yeah i did but i wish i didn’t

**Hoang hon Jean**  
why? :o

**young young young**  
my roommate is hiding something from me :(

**Hoang hon Jean**  
aww no baby!

**cat man**  
baby

**chan the man**  
minho, why are you calling him baby?  
you don’t usually use pet names and especially not for people you aren’t dating

**cat man**  
oh no i didn’t mean it as a Term of Endearment  
i was calling him a child, like an insult  
baby

**young young young**  
rude!

**cat man**  
well it was a joke

**young young young**  
yeah i know it was  
wait,,, do you know what my roommate is hiding??

**cat man**  
no, why would i? i’ve never even met the guy

**sunshine**  
i know it :)

**freckles**  
me too :)

**song mean**  
based on context, the most logical conclusion is that i also know

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yes you do :)  
as do I :)

**edgelord**  
oh wow that’s so ominous  
i wouldn’t wanna be jeongin right now

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah that’s fun or whatever  
but can we just take a moment to think about how minho hyung and chan hyung have matching screen names?

**chan the man**  
what

**cat man**  
no we don’t?  
oh wait  
oh shit of fuck hELL NO

_cat man_ changed their name to minho NOT chan

**song mean**  
well  
now you definitely don’t have to worry about accidentally matching names

 **edgelord**  
minho what the fuck is your name

**minho NOT chan**  
gotta make sure you don’t get us mixed up  
i don’t wanna associate with people like him

**chan the man**  
we live together though…?

**minho NOT chan**  
your point?

**chan the man**  
ok.

**edgelord**  
hey remember when jisung called minho hyung “mango”?

**minho NOT chan**  
…

_minho NOT chan_ changed their name to mango

**mango**  
the only reason i did this is because it’s easier to read

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
isn’t that red velvet’s main vocalist?  
anyway stop changing the names

**chan the man**  
don’t worry, we’re done now!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
good :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in conclusion stan red velvet
> 
> also the minbinsung date was highkey based on me and my sister when we went rollerskating.  
> my sister: careful turtle  
> me: chaotic speedster
> 
> aLSO I'M SO HYPE FOR THE COMEBACK!! please wear pink to my funeral because i won't survive this!! :D


	25. matchmaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about two hours after i made the decision to avoid teasers this comeback (despite already watching the ones for easy and go…), chan goes live and spoils shit :] but i only got there for the last ~20 minutes or so of the vlive so i missed the spoilers anyway! hah! i'm doing well!

**study date? :O**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey :)  
when are you free?  
btw this chat name is ooold and it sucks

 **song mean**  
i’m free anytime except thursday, why?  
and yeah you’re right about the chat name

_Hoang hon Jean_ set the chat name to **frens 4 lyfe <3**

**song mean**  
that’s even worse :/  
absolutely disgusting

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
aww, love you too seungmo <3

 **song mean**  
…disgusting

  
__

**Hoang hon Jean, freckles [private chat]**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hi when are you free?

 **freckles**  
from what

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
???  
when are you free to do something

 **freckles**  
ooooh that’s what you meant lmao  
yeah uhh saturday i think  
why, do you wanna hang out?

  
__

**Hoang hon Jean, sunshine [private chat]**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
are you free on saturday?

 **sunshine**  
yeah!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no you’re not  
got it?

 **sunshine**  
…what

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
you’re not free on saturday :)  
okay?  
just trust me on this  
i mean it in the nicest way possible :)

 **sunshine**  
sure…?

  
__

**road work ahead?**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey who can hang out with me on saturday? :)

 **song mean**  
i’m free but you already knew that

 **freckles**  
same  
but you knew that too

 **sunshine**  
…i’m not

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh that’s sad :(  
well then how about the three of us meet at the chinese restaurant just off campus then?

 **song mean**  
sure

 **freckles**  
yeah! but what about jisung? :(

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh wait…  
i’m not actually free on saturday :o  
hahah i guess you two just have to go on a date alone then!

 **song mean**  
yeah that’s not suspicious at all

 **freckles**  
i mean…  
i wouldn’t mind hanging out with you

 **song mean**  
oh okay!  
we can still hang out then? even if hyunjin isn’t there

 **freckles**  
yeah :D

 **song mean**  
okay!

  
__

**Hoang hon Jean, sunshine [private chat]**

****

**sunshine**  
lowkey impressed with you, lowkey disappointed that they didn’t even question it

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
well… seungmin kinda did  
but yeah!  
if you ever need some matchmaking done, just call me ^-^

 **sunshine**  
i most definitely will not, but good job!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
well thank you!

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**young young young**  
hey guys  
do you ever think about how 3racha is just soonie dongie and dori in human form?

 **chan the man**  
no  
stop

 **mango**  
wait no please continue

 **young young young**  
what if they’re shapeshifters?  
soonie shapeshifts into chan  
doongie shapeshifts into changbin  
dori shapeshifts into jisung

 **chan the man**  
uhm, no  
there’s no proof of that

 **young young young**  
no no think about it!  
minho hyung, have you ever seen 3racha in the same room as your cats?

 **mango**  
only chan hyung  
but if he can shapeshift, who knows what else he can do?

 **young young young**  
exactly! it might just be an illusion  
you think you’re seeing him next to your cats, but there’s actually only two cats and a chan hyung

 **edgelord**  
the more i read, the more i feel like leaving this gc and never looking back…

 **mango**  
shut up dongie!

 **song mean**  
lmao this is great  
i support this

 **sunshine**  
you know what, this whole chat is just a bunch of radioactive dumpster trash

 **freckles**  
can i quote you on that?

 **sunshine**  
sure :)  
personally, i identify as radioactive dumpster trash, wbu?

 **young young young**  
no, you’re dori!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
hey guys do you wanna know something funny? :D

 **mango**  
yeah sure

 **young young young**  
he’s distracting us from our 3racha as cats agenda >:(

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
it’s for an important cause!  
seunglix are going on a date! :D

 **chan the man**  
wait what really???

 **edgelord**  
a REAL date?

 **young young young**  
:o

 **freckles**  
yeah we’re boyfriends now

 **chan the man**  
wait WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
hang the fuck on  
i had not heard of this  
i only knew about the date because i’m the one who tricked you into going on a date with each other

 **mango**  
wtf hyunjin

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah… don’t ask :)

 **song mean**  
felix i thought we weren’t supposed to tell them?

 **freckles**  
uhh yeah  
idk i just kinda said it?  
should i take it back?

 **song mean**  
well… now they know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
you can’t really take it back

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no wE DON’T  
HOW LONG?  
SINCE WHEN?  
HOW WHO WHAT?

 **freckles**  
yes :]

 **chan the man**  
wait so you’re like ACTUALLY dating?

 **song mean**  
yes

 **young young young**  
for real? :O

 **song mean**  
YES

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
really seriously???

 **song mean**  
YES, STOP ASKING

 **mango**  
lmao  
bitches really do be illiterate

 **edgelord**  
it’s us, we’re bitches

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
but when?  
and how?

 **song mean**  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **freckles**  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **sunshine**  
seunglix…!  
respond to their questions, or i will

 **song mean**  
oh damn is that a threat?

 **sunshine**  
yes, because i will twist the information to make it as embarrassing for you as possible!

 **freckles**  
oh fuck i forgot you knew the story  
uhm yeah we’ll tell you!

 **young young young**  
you better!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
and here i was, trying to set you up  
turns out you’re already dating :/

 **freckles**  
yeah! :D  
isn’t it neat?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m disappointed :/

 **song mean**  
thanks

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
now i don’t get to put my matchmaking skills to the test!

 **sunshine**  
no, look!  
your matchmaking skills were so good that they got together way before you intervened! you didn’t even have to say anything to get them together!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
…i can’t tell if you’re trying to insult or compliment me but i’m gonna say thanks because it’s easier

 **young young young**  
lmao mood

 **mango**  
but can we just appreciate how chan hyung made three relationships happen by making this group chat?

 **song mean**  
he also made 21 friendships happen

 **freckles**  
he also made one adoption happen

 **young young young**  
??? i thought we all collectively decided to forget about that

 **freckles**  
well i’m bringing it back again! :D  
jisung, will you (platonically) marry me?  
it only makes sense, considering we have a child together

 **sunshine**  
omg of course!  
i would marry you (platonically) any day lixie!

 **chan the man**  
what’s going on?  
you were all reminiscing about what we’ve accomplished in this chat and now jilix are getting married?  
didn’t felix just announce that he’s dating seungmin?  
and isn’t jisung dating minho and changbin? why is he getting married to someone else?

 **mango**  
sometimes i wonder if i should worry about jisung’s and felix’s relationship but that worry disappears whenever they start calling each other bro

 **freckles**  
my bro, my man, will you do me the dishonor of offering your hand in the most married marriage ever??

 **sunshine**  
bro man  
i already said yes

 **freckles**  
just making sure :D  
sorry seungmin you’re still my boyfriend but jisung is now my husband

 **sunshine**  
*fiance  
or is it fiancee???  
i can never remember

 **freckles**  
just be what you want to be!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
SEUNGLIX!!!  
you never responded to my questions!  
when did you get together?

 **chan the man**  
^^i wanna know too

 **mango**  
yeah and HOW did you get together?

 **sunshine**  
hide and seek!  
there, i said it

 **edgelord**  
huh?

 **song mean**  
yeah  
when we were playing hide and seek last week

 **young young young**  
wait, when all of us were playing together?

 **freckles**  
yeah  
so you know how we hid with each other in a locker?  
we had a lot of time to talk in there

 **song mean**  
not exactly  
felix just said “omg this is such an awkward position to be in with your crush” before gasping dramatically

 **freckles**  
i didn’t think before speaking so yeah, i accidentally told him about my crush :/

 **mango**  
romantic

 **freckles**  
thanks hyung

 **young young young**  
aww that’s actually cute!  
but how did you get together after that?

 **freckles**  
seungmin was like “…really?” and i was very awkwardly just like “welp it’s too late to say no, so yes it’s true i do have a crush on you ahahha sorry”

 **song mean**  
and then i asked to be his boyfriend

 **young young young**  
wait  
is tHtat why you were both so flushed when i found you???  
you said it was because it got hot inside the locker!

 **freckles**  
i mean  
we kissed inside that locker so it did get kinda hot  
just not the temperature ;)

 **chan the man**  
aaand that’s enough storytime for today!  
but seriously  
i’m happy for you two!  
lowkey bothered by the fact that i started all of this but yeah

 **sunshine**  
chan hyung regretting all his life decisions?

 **freckles**  
it’s more likely than you think!

 **young young young**  
lmao


	26. perfect makes practice- wait that's not it

**minbinsung**

****

**edgelord**  
i am fucking TIRED of working hard only to be described as "talented"  
like, no, i don't think you understand.  
i don't have a single talented bone in my body, i've just worked very very hard to be good at things

**mango**  
wanna rant? or do you want us to say something?

**edgelord**  
rant first

**sunshine**  
sure hyung! we'll listen  
or read, but same thing

**edgelord**  
it's not that i take offense when people call me talented, cause like, i get that it's a compliment and i always take it that way  
but sometimes it's just… weird  
it feels like they're trying to say that i have talent, or that whatever they’re complimenting me on is something i'm naturally good at, which definitely is not the case

**sunshine**  
did something happen?

**edgelord**  
i showed a song i made to some guys in my gym class and they were gushing over it and over-exaggerating their compliments  
i get that they probably just didn't know how to properly express themselves but it felt very weird

**mango**  
what did they say?

**edgelord**  
one of them was like "oh damn, you're both rapping and singing? and you produced this too? is there anything you can't do? wow you're such a natural"  
and i really wanted to tell him the story of how i almost set fire to my computer the first time i tried producing music  
cause i definitely was not a natural  
he should have heard all the sucky tracks i made  
and the worst part about this is that it isn't even a bad thing, what they say. they're literally complimenting me  
i don't know why it makes me feel so weird

**sunshine**  
no, it's not weird, i get it  
it's like they're putting expectations on you based on your best work without acknowledging that the work you've shown them is the result of countless hours of hard work  
which is both invalidating, and quite a lot to live up to, especially if it feels like they're gonna expect you to perform just as well with minimum effort, even if this is the most effort you possibly could have put into it  
saying “you’re talented” is basically the same as saying “i bet this is how good you are naturally” and that’s a lot to live up to

**edgelord**  
what the fuck  
yeah that's exactly what i was trying to say

**mango**  
i think i understand  
it's like in dance class, when people say stuff like "you're so talented/you're such a natural/it looks so effortless" and i'm like, "yes, but actually no"  
cause in reality i spent around thirty hours in total practicing that piece and it definitely did not come naturally to me  
but people don’t see all the hours you spend in the practice room, they only see the final stage

**edgelord**  
ah that was kinda poetic  
“people don’t see all the hours you spend in the practice room, they only see the final stage”  
i get it, but that sucks hyung

**sunshine**  
and that's exactly why it makes sense for you to feel weird about it!  
it feels like you're fake for not being able to do things perfectly without a shit ton of practice first.  
not because people think you're perfect all the time, but because it feels that way when they say you're talented

**edgelord**  
oh, wow, you’re right  
how are you both so smart?

**sunshine**  
no no, don’t get my emotional intelligence mixed up with being smart

**mango**  
emotional intelligence is one way to be smart, though  
just because it’s not academics doesn’t mean it doesn’t count :p

**sunshine**  
okay yeah whatevr

**edgelord**  
jisung: *long paragraphs of detailed thoughts with lots of depth to them, complete with well-written sentences and fancy words*  
also jisung: “okay yeah whatevr”

**sunshine**  
don’t meme me like this hyung :/

**mango**  
haha no  
you will always be memed sungie

**sunshine**  
i thought i was safe from memeing here :((

**mango**  
nope, that was a scam :)

**sunshine**  
oh?

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**sunshine**  
guys, beware of scammers!

**chan the man**  
i mean…  
yes but also wdym?

**sunshine**  
you wouldn't download a car  
don’t let the scammers get to you

**Hoang hon Jean**  
but i would totally download a car though

**sunshine**  
oh… okay then ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
we go vroom vroom i guess

**edgelord**  
where did you get the idea to download a car?  
i get the scamming part, but the car?

**chan the man**  
i don’t get anything  
what’s going on right now?

**mango**  
don’t worry about it chanathan :)

**chan the man**  
sometimes i wonder if you actually know what my name is

**mango**  
oh, i do  
i just like to pretend that i don’t

**young young young**  
hi everyone, who wants to have LUNCH? :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh wow  
innie really said “stfu with y’all’s bullshit and have some damn food instead”

**chan the man**  
he didn’t say that though…

**young young young**  
well yeah, basically  
i need to stop your bullshit before it goes too far  
so, lunch? :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
wait INNIE

**young young young**  
what?

  
__

**boyfriends <33**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hi <3

**young young young**  
uh hello?  
we just talked in the big gc  
why did you switch?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
do you wanna go  
on a date  
with me?

**young young**  
why did you split that sentence into three messages

**Hoang hon Jean**  
for Effect!

**young young young**  
ah i see  
but liek…  
you mean on a Date date™???

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yes, a Date date™

**young young young**  
omg okay!  
where?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
is it okay if i make it a surprise?

**young young young**  
yeah as long as i get food :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
don’t worry, you will!

**young young young**  
yeah okay then!  
where should we meet?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
the fountain on campus?  
as soon as your class finishes?

**young young young**  
yes!  
wait how do you know i’m still in class?  
i thought i was being sneaky with my texting in class :/

**Hoang hon Jean**  
you were not sneaky at all but it’s okay <3

**young young young**  
you're not even in this class??? how do you know???  
but yeah anyway  
i’ll see you soon! :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
see you!! <3

  
__

**cutiepies**

****

**song mean**  
hey lixie <3  
you still haven’t responded to the meme i sent this morning, are you okay?

**freckles**  
oh yeah i’m fine hahah  
sorry for not replaying, i’ve been studying a lot today

**song mean**  
ah i see  
remember to take breaks though!

**freckles**  
hahahh yeah

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**chan the man**  
so it’s been three hours  
did innie get his lunch?

**young young young**  
hetookmeonapicnicdate !!!

**chan the man**  
aww, cute  
hope you had a good time!

**young young young**  
yᵉᵃʰ ᶦ ᵈᶦᵈ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i just had to say that the point of this isn't to say that "you're talented" is a rude compliment or anything. just a reminder that most people aren't prodigies and there's usually a lot of hard work behind whatever you're complimenting!
> 
> in other words i'm just ranting lol


	27. intervention

**cutiepies**

****

**song mean**  
i am three seconds away from an intervention  
lix it’s been two days  
are you OKAY???

 **freckles**  
yeah  
sorry  
just…  
a lot

 **song mean**  
hey, are you okay?  
can i come over?

 **freckles**  
i’m just studying, it’s not a big deal or anything

 **song mean**  
for two days straight?

 **freckles**  
i need it

 **song mean**  
no  
you need to take a break  
probably leave the dorm too  
do you wanna go to the cafe?

 **freckles**  
i mean… i want to, but i still need to study

 **song mean**  
lix, no, you’re not gonna get anywhere if you don’t take breaks  
let’s go to the cafe  
and if you need help when we get back, i can help you, okay?

 **freckles**  
uhm  
sure, yeah  
i’d like that  
thanks

 **song mean**  
it’s really no problem  
how soon can you get there?

 **freckles**  
fifteen minutes?

 **song mean**  
okay!  
i’ll see you there <3

 **freckles**  
<3

  
__

**minbinsung**

****

**mango**  
if i was gonna vore you two, the first thing i would vore is jisung’s cheeks and changbin’s arms

 **sunshine**  
thanks babe

 **edgelord**  
i would vore your thighs hyung

 **mango**  
<3

 **sunshine**  
ooh same  
and i also agree about the arms

 **mango**  
glad to know we’re all on the same page :)

 **edgelord**  
okay just to make sure  
no one’s actually gonna vore each other, right?  
or do i have to lock my door tonight?

 **sunshine**  
bold of you to assume we’d do it when you’re sleeping!

 **mango**  
lmao sungie  
but yeah that’s true  
i would vore you anytime binnie <3

 **edgelord**  
thanks hyung  
same goes for you

 **mango**  
aww thank you <3

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**song mean**  
jisung did you just die

 **chan the man**  
wHAT  
what’s going on??

 **song mean**  
there was a loud crash from his room  
i’m just wondering if he’s dead or not

 **sunshine**  
how do you know that? :o

 **song mean**  
i went home with felix and you live with him so i heard the crash  
did you die?

 **sunshine**  
well… good news, i didn’t die  
but bad news, i might die

 **chan the man**  
jiSUNG WHAT  
please be joking

 **sunshine**  
idk? i got paint in my eye  
not a lot and it didn't go directly into my eye, but it hurts :D

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
THAT’S DANGEROUS

 **sunshine**  
i know!  
that’s why i’m watering my eye in the bathroom rn!

 **song mean**  
hold the fuck on i’m coming to help you  
be glad lix is sleeping, otherwise he would be freaking tf out

 **chan the man**  
damn my kids really are disasters, huh  
jisung you need to see a doctor!

 **song mean**  
we gotta rinse his eye first

 **sunshine**  
going into the shower with clothes on now!  
well this fucking hurts!

 **edgelord**  
hi just letting you know that me & minho hyung are on our way to your dorm  
so we can take you to the doctor

 **song mean**  
i told jisung and he said “cool”

 **young young young**  
omg is he okay

 **song mean**  
i asked him and he said “am i ever???”  
a very good response tbh

 **chan the man**  
well… keep us updated  
i’d rather not see him die today

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
okay so while they’re making sure jisung doesn’t die  
can i ask why lix sleeping at 3 pm?

 **song mean**  
oh…  
idk how much he wants me to tell you  
but you know how he hasn’t really talked to anyone for a few days?

 **chan the man**  
yes we know :/

 **song mean**  
he’s been studying for an english test, even though he already knows the material well

 **chan the man**  
oh

 **song mean**  
yeah  
but he’s been stressing out over spellings and worrying that he won’t be able to finish the test during the lesson

 **chan the man**  
but doesn't he get extra time?

 **song mean**  
i don’t know  
…ah  
i just asked jisung and he said that it depends a bit on the test, but yes, they both usually get extra time

 **young young young**  
because of dyslexia?

 **song mean**  
yeah  
teachers are supposed to give them extra time for that

 **chan the man**  
that’s good  
was there any specific reason why he’s been stressing out over this specific test?  
or maybe he doesn’t want you to talk about that…?

 **song mean**  
maybe you should ask him yourself  
he didn’t really say  
but he does have that bullshit teacher in english :|

 **young young young**  
oh, the one we were gonna murder!

 **song mean**  
yup

 **young young young**  
are we still doing that or…?

 **chan the man**  
murder might be a bit too much  
but i’m working on an email right now!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
ooh what are you gonna say to him?

 **chan the man**  
i’m pretending that i’m the mom of a high schooler who’s thinking about applying to this college but wants to know if it’s good for students with learning difficulties :)  
if i word it correctly, the teacher might realize he’s being an ignorant bitch

 **young young young**  
le gasp!  
chan hyung just cussed

 **song mean**  
well, let’s hope he realizes that he’s an idiot  
but in the meanwhile i think we should trash his house

 **chan the man**  
seungmin no

 **song mean**  
okay fine… i guess i won’t :/

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
don’t worry, i know what he looks like  
i can spill choco milk over him tomorrow!

 **chan the man**  
why???

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
cause i really wanna drink choco milk and i also wanna ruin his clothes

 **chan the man**  
uhm  
i can’t tell you not to do that, but wouldn’t it be more effective if you helped me write the email?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
okay fiiine

 **chan the man**  
great! :)

 **mango**  
update: jisung is not dying

 **sunshine**  
not today at least  
and my eye will be fine it’s just gonna hurt like hell for a bit longer :)

 **chan the man**  
ahh that’s good to know!  
not the part about you hurting but that it’ll be fine

 **sunshine**  
yeah lmao

 **edgelord**  
today has been  
interesting  
i’m glad that it’s over :)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
but it’s not even 4 pm?

 **edgelord**  
I’m Glad That It’s Over :)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seunglix: wholesome interactions, looking after each other, generally cute and sweet  
> minbinsung: "so this is how i would vore you"  
> lmao i can't believe i put both those conversations in the same chapter
> 
> anyway i'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow and it's called "the clown crusade" :)


	28. the clown crusade

**spice kids**

****

**sunshine**  
guys  
i have a tricycle and i’m not afraid to use it

**freckles**  
let’s all dress up as clowns and take a tour around campus!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey that’s not a bad idea! even though i don’t really understand what that has to do with the tricycle

**chan the man**  
“not a bad idea” are you sure about that hyunjin?  
are you absolutely sure about that?

**mango**  
can’t be worse than that time chan hyung fell asleep in class and i got him back to the dorms in a wheelbarrow  
a wandering circus actually sounds fun

**chan the man**  
...on second thought, the clown thing sounds like a great idea!

**freckles**  
great! so i’ve already got the clown costumes and jisung is ready with the tricycle  
everything will be documented and livestreamed on seungmin’s insta

**edgelord**  
lol we should make an instagram account together  
it would be perfect for situations like this

**young young young**  
omg that would be so fun

**mango**  
omg that would be such a mess

**chan the man**  
actually, it’s not a bad idea  
we hang out often enough

**Hoang hon Jean**  
are you sure about that?  
are you absolutely sure about that?

**chan the man**  
stop using my own words against me :(  
but yeah i’m sure  
an insta account for all of us sounds great

**freckles**  
cool! then we’ll make one!  
but now we need to split up the responsibility for our clown crusade

**sunshine**  
i’ll bring the tricycle

**freckles**  
i’m providing costumes + clown noses for everyone

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i can do everyone’s makeup!

**freckles**  
oh yes that’s good

**chan the man**  
i can bring snacks and i’m volunteering minho to be in charge of drinks  
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINKS !!!

**mango**  
aww i was about to suggest vodka  
but fine i guess  
i’ll get us all water

**edgelord**  
i have 30+ kazoos in a jar under my bathroom sink

**freckles**  
…we won’t ask why  
but please bring them! they might be useful! :)

**edgelord**  
yup

**song mean**  
i’m responsible for social media updates + high quality pics of our crusade

**young young young**  
yeah!  
and i’ll bring Good Vibes and Fresh Energy

**sunshine**  
thanks jeongin  
you’re unvaluable to us <3

**chan the man**  
…isn’t that a bit rude to say?

**sunshine**  
what why?  
i thought unvaluable meant something good, like his worth is too great to be measured in words???

**chan the man**  
oh i think you mean “invaluable”

**sunshine**  
oops… yeah that’s what i meant, sorry innie :D

**young young young**  
lol i also thought unvaluable was the same thing as invaluable so it’s fine

**freckles**  
okay so summary of our responsibilities!  
me - costumes  
jisung - tricycle  
hyunjin - makeup  
seungmin - camera  
chan - food  
minho - water  
changbin - music  
innie - Good Vibes

**song mean**  
yes, now we’re thoroughly prepared!

**edgelord**  
wait is this a joke or are we actually doing it?

**chan the man**  
binnie, if you think this is a joke, you don’t half of these people half as well as you should

**edgelord**  
…that was a confusing sentence but i think i get your point

**mango**  
so we’re actually having a clown crusade?  
when and where does it start?

**freckles**  
everyone, come to mine and jisung’s dorm this sunday at 1 pm to get fitted for you clown costumes! :D  
we’ll start the crusade as soon as everyone has a costume and hyunjin has finished our makeup

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yay! i can’t wait!

**young young young**  
i can’t believe this is happening, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense and i’m surprised it hasn’t happened earlier

**song mean**  
lol same

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**freckles**  
he said  
“son, when you grow up  
would you be the savior  
of the broken, the beaten and the damned?”

**sunshine**  
he said,  
“will you defeat them  
your demons and all the non-believers?  
the plans that they have made?  
because one day, i’ll leave you  
a phantom to lead you in the summer  
to join the clown crusade”

**chan the man**  
the fact that it actually fits with the melody is very amusing to me  
also, the fact that crusade rhymes with parade

**edgelord**  
thanks for ruining another iconic song from my emo phase  
i can never listen to black parade again now :/

**mango**  
your emo phase is still ongoing though

**freckles**  
so did everyone have a good time today at the clown crusade? :D

**song mean**  
you were there, you should know  
but yeah it was fun

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i had a Super Mega Ultra Very Great Time!!!  
i think some girls from my class finally realized that i actually have a personality cause i saw them staring when we were walking past the arts building! :D

**chan the man**  
wait what do you mean

**Hoang hon Jean**  
they usually flirt with me because of my face and never care about what i have to say, but i think seeing me dressed as a clown may have made them realize that my personality is not a blank canvas!

**young young young**  
oh wow  
it sucks that they think that but i’m glad you’re happy <3

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah i am <3  
and it was very fun to walk around dressed as clowns with you guys!!  
10/10 would do again

**edgelord**  
yeah but next time, minho hyung and felix won’t get to have kazoos

**freckles**  
what why D:

**mango**  
binnie wdym?  
we are innocent!

**edgelord**  
no you’re not  
you both kept playing ‘wow’ the entire time  
i don’t even know how you heard that song!!!

**freckles**  
that’s not true!

**mango**  
exactly!  
we actually took a break from ‘wow’ and played ‘domestic banana’ for a little bit

**chan the man**  
that wasn’t much better

**young young young**  
i prefered domestic banana!  
it sounded great on the kazoos

**freckles**  
thanks innie! :D

**chan the man**  
i don’t know why everyone is always clowning ‘wow’  
it’s almost like you’ve never heard hip fuck sin

**edgelord**  
heard WHAT now

**chan the man**  
wAIT YOU HAVEN’T????

**sunshine**  
CHAN HYUNG NO

**young young young**  
what is hip fuck sin?

**mango**  
this sounds like potential new blackmail material!  
please tell us about it

**sunshine**  
NO  
IT’S NOTHING

**chan the man**  
hahha i’m not a menace to my friends so i won’t expose him  
i’ll just say i’ve never heard jisung cuss that much ever before…

**sunshine**  
it was a long time ago :/  
i was fourteen ok???

**freckles**  
ah, we all have our dark pasts  
i guess we should respect yours

**sunshine**  
thanks lix <3  
but i can’t really picture you having a dark past

**chan the man**  
isn’t the clown crusade part of his dark past?

**freckles**  
hyung no! i loved the clown crusade!  
it was a bit embarrassing that some of my friends saw me, but we were walking on campus so i guess i should have expected that

**song mean**  
same lmao  
i can never show my face in public again  
no regrets though

**edgelord**  
we should have another clown crusade after graduation this year!  
i mean i’m graduating so i don’t really care how many people see me

**mango**  
ooh same!

**chan the man**  
actually… that’s a great idea  
i support this absolute clownery

**freckles**  
a great!  
we can make more plans later cause there’s still a while left until then

**mango**  
graduation is pretty soon though

**edgelord**  
oh damn  
the circus is leaving town

**song mean**  
the circus = you & minho hyung  
town = college  
i mean you’re still gonna be around, and you’re still gonna be clowns

**mango**  
that is very true

**Hoang hon Jean**  
next time we dress up as clowns we need to get wigs too!

**freckles**  
oh yea  
that’s right!

**chan the man**  
we’ll fix that later  
but all in all, the clown crusade was a great success :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i currently crave unconsciousness because Everything Physically Hurts and i just want sleep hahahha. can't walk without hunching over because period pain is a bitch like that. but i hope everyone else is having a good day <3
> 
> also stray kids really should answer that indonesian master chef on twitter, he seems very determined to know about the soup lmao


	29. god 4 u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm back with my clown agenda today again! <3

**boyfriends <33**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
you know what i hate? :/

**young young young**  
eggplants!!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
…you’re not wrong, but that’s not what i was thinking about

**young young young**  
well then what do you hate hyung? :]

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i hate when we’re giving each other constructive criticism in class!!!  
i mean it’s a good thing cause it’s supposed to help us improve, but i don’t think i’ve ever gotten g o o d constructive criticism???

**young young young**  
ohmygod  
i hate that i can relate to this

**Hoang hon Jean**  
like, i guess it’s beneficial to those who are struggling with their projects and are paired with someone who gives good advice like “try working on blending the colors!” (i’m talking abt art class btw) but for everyone else it’s almost like this is just an opportunity to compliment each other

**young young young**  
y e s !!!  
and you know what’s even more annoying

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh no, what?

**young young young**  
when i specifically ask someone for feedback on a project and all they do is compliment it

**Hoang hon Jean**  
o h my g od i HATE that so much!!!  
it’s always so awkward cause i’m there like “yes thank u that’s so sweet but i’m aware that my shadowing is great, i was asking cause i wanna know what area i could improve? the coloring seems a bit off to me but idk what’s wrong so i’m asking for help because i want actual help, not compliments”

**young young young**  
and they’re like “no no no, it’s good! you don’t have to change anything, i think it’s perfect!” and i’m like NOOOO I’M ASKING bc i want to improve my work, not because i’m insecure and need validation!!! if i wanted validation, i would not have phrased it as “gIVE mE consTrUctive criTiCIsm!!!!!!”

**Hoang hon Jean**  
y e s that is so true !!!  
and if you try to give me feedback but can’t come up with something i should improve, at least say that so i know you tried!!!  
“it’s perfect!” just sounds like you’re not putting any actual effort into helping me improve :/

**young young young**  
exactly!  
it’s not hard to just say “hmm i’m not really sure what you could improve” or something like that, and at least i would know that you tried to help me and i can go on to ask someone else or smth!!!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
ugh so true  
and if you don’t have the time/energy/or you just don’t want to give me feedback, you can say that too  
it’s more helpful than saying “it’s good! everything’s perfect!” without even looking at my project :/

**young young young**  
facts™  
oh wait  
big gc is notificationing me

**Hoang hon Jean**  
is that even a word…? lol

**young young young**  
probably not but i don’t care! :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hahhaha okay :p

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**freckles**  
not to sound conceited, but i am a comedic connoisseur 😤

**mango**  
yeah, that doesn’t sound conceited at all

**sunshine**  
not that i disagree, bc i don’t :)  
but what did you do?

**freckles**  
wdym?

**sunshine**  
??? i’m asking what you did that made you a comedic connoisseur

**freckles**  
oh no i just meant like in general!  
i’ve always been a comedic connoisseur  
(also can i just say, i hate that word. very annoying to type)

**mango**  
cool

**edgelord**  
good for you

**chan the man**  
hi guys i just wrote a song! :)  
what’s going on here?

**young young young**  
oh a new song! love music!  
i just learned a new song on piano!

**chan the man**  
nice innie! what song?

**young young young**  
i can pley 4 kord to a beanie eyelash song <3

**sunshine**  
congrats

**freckles**  
god 4 u

**song mean**  
“god”

**freckles**  
omg i accidentally wrote god instead of good!  
look at me go, being the comedic connoisseur i’ve always been destined to be  
i can’t believe i’m really out here being god’s favorite :]

**chan the man**  
bro  
are you oaky?

**freckles**  
what’s oaky

**chan the man**  
*are you okay?  
i meant okay

**freckles**  
lmao yes!!!  
never better! :D

**song mean**  
i’m with him right now and lix is pretty hype  
he just had coffee

**chan the man**  
no! don’t give him coffee!

**song mean**  
too late ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**freckles**  
do you need an education to be a clown?  
i wanna be a clown  
how much do they earn a year?

**chan the man**  
lix please  
spare some of my brain cells at least

**sunshine**  
if you wanted brain cells, you shouldn’t be friends with us! we’re gonna steal them :D

**chan the man**  
thanks jisung

**sunshine**  
anytime <3

**young young young**  
in the meantime i’ll just steal chan hyung’s laptop

**mango**  
yeah!  
let’s delete all the tracks he has on it!

**sunshine**  
YES! i wanna help with that!

**young young young**  
no! we need to post them to spotify or something  
not delete them!  
how else are we supposed to enjoy wow?

**edgelord**  
guys please, no more wow

**song mean**  
it’s the wow!

**freckles**  
it’s the wow!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
^^i think they used the same brain cell for that  
lmao

**song mean**  
yeah, it’s the fanboy brain cell  
it’s only ever used to make day6 references

**Hoang hon Jean**  
not true! i use it to make got7 references all the time!

**freckles**  
“Specific educational qualifications are not required in order to pursue the career of a clown”  
guys look! i could be a clown! :D

**young young young**  
i’m happy for you lixie hyung!

**sunshine**  
the average salary for a circus clown is $67655  
can someone translate that to korean won please

**chan the man**  
not translate  
convert

**edgelord**  
that’s around ~81 997 953 won according to some random site on google

**freckles**  
damn that’s pretty good! and no education!  
why am i not a clown right now

**Hoang hon Jean**  
there’s nothing stopping you from being a clown!

**freckles**  
actually… you’re right :D

**chan the man**  
if this is really your dream, then i support it  
but please finish college first at least

**freckles**  
:(

**chan the man**  
why are you pouting?  
i literally said i support it

**freckles**  
:(

**song mean**  
ok bye  
me and felix are gonna go run around the streets naked or something

**chan the man**  
nO!!!

**freckles**  
see you guys later! :D

**mango**  
don’t worry hyung, they’re not actually gonna do that  
i think  
maybe  
…  
well i hope he was joking at least

**chan the man**  
yeah ok :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every time i try to say what my favorite song from the new album is, i just end up listing all of them so i won't even try lmao


	30. Health hazard

**annoying roommates**

****

**chan the man**  
do you think people can be bad for each other without noticing it themselves?

**mango**  
hello to you too  
and uhh,,, i guess the short answer would be yes?  
but it really depends on the situation  
why are you asking?

**chan the man**  
lol sorry  
sometimes i think i’m doing well but then i write a song where i call myself a “health hazard” and realize that hmm… maybe i’m not doing too well  
i don’t even know where that came from

**mango**  
ah… that shit…  
feeling bad and having no idea why

**chan the man**  
exactly!  
shit just hit the fan and i still don’t even know what’s wrong ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mango**  
did you write any other positive lines in that very positive song you just mentioned?

**chan the man**  
“you should probably avoid me  
the only way to be happy”  
like yes  
i am a danger to you  
get the fuck away before i hurt you

**mango**  
is that how you feel? or is it what you think?

**chan the man**  
definitely not what i think but apparently it’s how i feel  
or idk, i’m still trying to understand where that came from

**mango**  
well, even if you feel like that right now, i hope you know that it’s wrong  
you’re not a danger to people around you  
it doesn’t hurt us in any way to be friends with you

**chan the man**  
thanks min

**mango**  
no, it’s just the truth!  
i don’t know what made you feel this way but you should know that it’s just a feeling  
there’s no logic behind it  
of course your feelings matter, but they’re not being very logical right now. we all love and appreciate you a lot more than you can imagine  
you’re not a health hazard and you’re not a danger to us.  
it doesn’t matter that you struggle sometimes, everyone goes through bad times  
and of course we feel for you, but you’re not hurting us by showing that

**chan the man**  
that’s  
i’m  
…thank you min  
seriously

**mango**  
we’re there for you the same way you’re always there for us when we struggle <3  
do you want cuddles maybe?  
i’m in my room right now

**chan the man**  
ok i’m coming! <3  
and thank you again

**mango**  
<3

  
__

**spice kids**

****

**young young young**  
so you guys know how i’m asexual?

**song mean**  
no

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yes

**edgelord**  
no

**chan the man**  
yes

**freckles**  
no

**sunshine**  
yes

**mango**  
no

**young young young**  
…  
well now you know!  
anyway i just made another pun about it :D

**freckles**  
i’m so proud of you innie <3

**chan the man**  
i really appreciate you keeping us updated on your puns  
it makes me happy to know that you’re always out there, making jokes and making people laugh :)

**edgelord**  
aww that’s actually so sweet hyung

**chan the man**  
shUsh

**Hoang hon Jean**  
innie we need to know what the pun was!  
please tell us!

**young young young**  
well we had a group project and someone wanted me to change the colors i used for my powerpoint  
so i said “no, don’t ruin my acethetic!”

**chan the man**  
nice one!

**freckles**  
we love to see it

**Hoang hon Jean**  
ooh good job innie! good pun!

**young young young**  
yeah so anyway :D  
what’s up with y’all?  
i heard channie hyung was sad so i had to share my pun before asking cause i thought maybe it could entertain him a little bit <3

**chan the man**  
innieeee  
you’re so sweet

**young young young**  
so are you sad hyungie? :(

**chan the man**  
i don’t really know?  
my feelings aren’t the clearest at the moment but i’m okay  
thank you for caring <3

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hyung we all care about you a lot!  
you can talk to us if you want!  
obviously you don’t have to but we’ll always listen

**freckles**  
yeah hyung! you’re always there for us when we’re struggling, and you always find ways to help  
and we would do the same for you!

**edgelord**  
remember than time chan hyung flashed his abs in front of the entire cafeteria?

**chan the man**  
binnieeeee  
god no, please…  
we were having such a wholesome time  
you know i did that as a dare  
why did you have to go bring it up :/

**edgelord**  
look, i actually have a point i’m making with this!  
you were really embarrassed afterwards  
and yeah it was funny to see, but do you remember why you did it?

**chan the man**  
as a dare?  
i’m pretty sure it was a dare

**edgelord**  
no, not exactly

**song mean**  
hang on i remember this  
changbin hyung was about to go on stage and he was really nervous so you said something like “would you be less nervous if people weren’t staring and talking about you?”

**edgelord**  
and when i said yes, you just got up and did That™  
you really helped me that time hyung, and you didn’t even think that much about it  
you just acted because you thought it might help me be less nervous  
and that’s just one of the reasons you’re amazing

**chan the man**  
guys please you’re gonna make me cry, i’m sensitive

**Hoang hon Jean**  
good!  
or well not good that you’re crying, but you deserve to be appreciated!!!!!!  
we love you!!!!!!!!

**chan the man**  
an excessive amount of exclamation points but thanks jinnie  
i love you too <3

**freckles**  
damn this is wholesome! we should meet up so we can hug

**song mean**  
a great idea

**young young young**  
omg i was just about to have ice cream  
we could meet at the ice cream place!

**sunshine**  
yes! chan hyung deserves hugs!!

**mango**  
a good point  
everyone, get to innie’s favorite ice cream place in 30 minutes or less!  
y’all know which one it is

**Hoang hon Jean**  
we really do know

**chan the man**  
hahhah thanks guys  
i love you all

**edgelord**  
and we love you too

**young young young**  
^o^

**freckles**  
<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahah the health hazard thing is from real life, i actually wrote a song like that
> 
> anyway. this week i'm waking up at 5:30 am every day (haha… yeah) and i get home around 6:30 pm which absolutely sucks! i have too little time to do the things i want to! yay! and my brain cells are fried at the end of each day so me working on fics is Not Happening right now :D


	31. meemee

**spice kids**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hey there demons

**freckles**  
it’s me  
ya boi

**Hoang hon Jean**  
!!! cultured !!!  
so anyway  
how far do you think i have to go to get banned from mcdonalds? :)

**chan the man**  
please don’t

**edgelord**  
please do!  
i’d like to know too

**mango**  
oh!  
i see the god of sanity has arrived :)

**chan the man**  
changbin? sANE???  
are you sure we’re talking about the same person

**sunshine**  
lmao binnie has no sanity at all

**edgelord**  
hey!  
at least call me hyung when you insult me :/

**mango**  
is it really an insult if it’s true?

**chan the man**  
yes  
certain things are just insults by default

_edgelord_ changed their name to god of sanity

**chan the man**  
…well at least he’s proud of it

 **god of sanity**  
i am: NOT  
but i decided that i needed a new fresh name :)

**mango**  
“fresh”

**sunshine**  
i’m 3 6 5 so f r e s h…!

**freckles**  
i know you’re singing the song by triple h  
but all i can think is  
“fre shava ca do”

**Hoang hon Jean**  
!!! more culture !!!  
oh wait  
i forgot what i came here for  
lmao

**chan the man**  
did you have something to say jinnie? :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah!  
i retook the 16 personalities test or whatever it’s called and i got a different result this time  
i’m jisung’s friend now! :D

**song mean**  
the personality test told you that you’re jisung’s friend…?

**sunshine**  
ooh! introverts unite!

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yesss! unite!!!

**chan the man**  
oh  
that’s what you meant  
i was v confused for a moment  
you’re both introverts, i get it

**song mean**  
actually, we’re not split into introverts and extroverts  
people can be different in different situations and at different times  
\+ ambiverts, you know

**Hoang hon Jean**  
get out of here with your logic and science!

**sunshine**  
yeah!  
this is a brainless household!  
stupidity ONLY!

**chan the man**  
“stupidity only” that honestly makes so much sense if you look at this chat…

**mango**  
actually, we’re pretty smart  
just not in the most conventional ways :)

**freckles**  
true true  
last week, me and jisung jumped out the window without getting hurt! that was a pretty smart move

**chan the man**  
you dID WHAT???

**sunshine**  
he literally just said that we didn’t get hurt

**freckles**  
yeah! because we were so smart and careful ^.^

**mango**  
knowing you two…  
i doubt that’s it

**Hoang hon Jean**  
maybe if i get a job at mcdonalds  
and then fuck up super very much  
then they’ll never allow me back there again!

**chan the man**  
why though  
why is this a goal of yours?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i need to know  
what is the limit?  
how far do i have to go?

**god of sanity**  
omg remember moana?  
how far i’ll gooOoOoOoOoOooo

**mango**  
a great movie!

**god of sanity**  
oof i kinda wanna watch it again

**mango**  
me too  
jisungie?

**sunshine**  
yeaaaah movie taeime!!!!!!!

**chan the man**  
…is that meant to say time?

**sunshine**  
it literally says time?  
why are you even questioning my spelling, it was perfect

**freckles**  
that looks like french  
a word with a bunch of vowels, of which you only pronounce like 2  
lol

**Hoang hon Jean**  
my favorite word in french is oiseaux  
five vowels, and no letter is pronounced the way you think it should be :)

**mango**  
oh i love words like that!

**sunshine**  
my head hurts just looking at it

**freckles**  
same  
i’m so glad i’m not french

**chan the man**  
i mean, it’s good to be grateful,,,  
even though that might be a p weird thing to be grateful for  
but you do you i guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mango**  
i wish i was french  
i love the guillotine <3

**sunshine**  
good fucking news guys! i hate french :D

**freckles**  
y e s, me too  
just look at that word  
“guillotitneoien”  
i was gonna copy paste it but then i decided to make an honest attempt  
and i think it proves my point very well

**sunshine**  
exactly!  
fuck the french and their french fucking spelling

**chan the man**  
you’re korean  
stop being upset over french spelling

**sunshine**  
but what if i move to france in the future?  
i would not make it  
they would have to bury me on french land and i wouldn’t even be able to understand what my own gravestone says

**song mean**  
i don’t think that’s what would happen…

**god of sanity**  
calm down jisung  
you would be dead, so you wouldn’t have to read your own gravestone :)

**chan the man**  
that’s not what you should be telling him…  
he’s not even gonna die in the first place  
stop entertaining these ideas…  
wait  
he’s not gonna move to france either

**mango**  
how do you know?

**young young young**  
HI I’M HERE NOW  
i sensed that some complete bs was going on but i had to wait for my class to finish  
anyway i’m here now to bring some sanity to the gc <3

**god of sanity**  
too late

**young young young**  
who are you  
no one here has any sanity so i’m guessing your name is ironic

**god of sanity**  
…

**song mean**  
oof  
knocked down by the maknae  
tough luck to him ig ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**freckles**  
pUNCH KNOCKOUT

**Hoang hon Jean**  
~cause we KO every single fight~

**chan the man**  
nice song lyrics  
now i’m gonna go to sleep :)

**song mean**  
it’s like 4 in the afternoon?

**mango**  
lmao do you really think chan hyung slept tonight?

**song mean**  
ah, a valid point

**Hoang hon Jean**  
innie makes the impossible happen  
he gets jilix to shut up with their bs, gets chan hyung to go to sleep…  
i respect you so much baby uwu

**young young young**  
haha you should

**song mean**  
oof-  
that was brutal

**Hoang hon Jean**  
obliterated  
by my own boyfriend  
i can’t believe this :(

**mango**  
i can

**god of sanity**  
yeah  
i was kinda expecting it tbh

**Hoang hon Jean**  
well thanks to absolutely no one here!  
you all suck and i will not be leaving a good review on yelp  
only 3 stars

**young young young**  
3 stars out of 3!  
thanks hyung <3

**Hoang hon Jean**  
you know that’s not what i meant :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna say something here but i just got a notif that skz posted a video so i guess not lmao! bye i gotta go watch the video!!!


	32. perfomance

**spice kids**

****

**god of sanity**  
where are minho hyung and jisung?  
i haven’t seen them in like three years  
i miss my boyfriends :(

**chan the man**  
i haven’t seen minho much either, and i live with him 

**freckles**  
there’s a showcase coming up so all the performance majors are in the middle of rehearsals!  
i guess they’re stressing out over that rn 

**song mean**  
we literally went on a clown crusade with them last weekend though?  
what do you mean, you haven’t seen them in three years?  
the crusade was less than a week ago 

**god of sanity**  
minor details  
still miss them :( 

**chan the man**  
yeah they’re probably pretty busy  
but both of them are very good at not knowing their own limits and overworking themselves  
so we should keep texting them :) 

**god of sanity**  
yeah i talked to min hyung this morning but idk, he was pretty tired 

**chan the man**  
oh okay  
i’ll text minho rn! 

**freckles**  
i’m gonna text sungie :D 

  
__

****

**annoying roommates**

**chan the man**  
hey minho, here’s your friendly reminder to drink water & take breaks when you’re practicing! :)  
and if you don’t, i will steal your studio blip so you can’t practice :)

**mango**  
“studio blip” chan it’s called a key 

**chan the man**  
oh hello!  
are you taking a break right now? 

**mango**  
no i’m dancing and texting -.- 

**chan the man**  
don’t dance and text! 

**mango**  
haha, just kidding  
i’m a responsible adult  
i would do no such thing 

**chan the man**  
that time you hurt your knee last year would like to disagree 

**mango**  
ooops… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**chan the man**  
so anyway how’s it going?  
you have a solo, right? 

**mango**  
i mean…  
it’s going 

**chan the man**  
on a scale from “everyone in the audience should wear a blindfold” to “i could do this with a blindfold”, how well is it going? 

**mango**  
around a “wear sunglasses so you can’t see me properly”  
i’ve got the moves down but there are so many details to work on still 

**chan the man**  
ah i see  
don’t overwork yourself though!!!  
you won’t be able to dance well if your muscles are dead and your brain is mush 

**mango**  
that is very true!  
feel free to drag me out of the dance studio if i try to spend more than 4 consecutive hours in here 

**chan the man**  
oh i will  
i’m telling the kids, too 

**mango**  
the kids? 

**chan the man**  
yeah, in the big gc!  
i think binnie especially would be very willing to drag you out of there :) 

**mango**  
lmao okay  
i gotta practice again  
bye 

**chan the man**  
good luck! 

  
__

****

**the world’s best potato chip**

**freckles**  
you didn’t come home last night bro :/  
are you good?  
 _delivered._

**freckles**  
are you still practicing?  
sung it’s 7 pm  
i haven’t seen you since yesterday morning  
_delivered._

**freckles**  
are you seriously that caught up in practice or is there something wrong?  
_delivered._

**freckles**  
ok that’s it i’m coming to the music studio  
prepare to meet me  
_delivered._

  
__

****

**spice kids**

**chan the man**  
minho update: feel free to drag him out of the dance studio at any point, especially if you’re going to have food  
or that may not have been exactly what we agreed on but that’s what i think and he’s not allowed to complain about it :)  
just drag him out whenever you want

**young young young**  
okay! i will do that! 

**freckles**  
hi everyone!  
i’m with jisungie rn and he said i should tell you that if he doesn’t respond to your messages atm, it’s nothing personal against you! 

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh no is he okay? 

**freckles**  
i don’t know! we’re dealing with it though! don’t worry! 

**chan the man**  
i hope you know that i’m still worrying…  
what’s going on? 

**freckles**  
we’re in one of the music studios and talking right now  
will update you later but we’re dealing with it so it’s okay! 

**chan the man**  
can i come?  
i wanna make sure he’s okay 

**freckles**  
he is Not Keen On Seeing People at the moment but i’ll ask!  
ok he said yes  
you can come 

**chan the man**  
omw! 

  
__

****

**minbinsung**

**sunshine**  
hi

**god of sanity**  
sunshine!!! 

**sunshine**  
yeah i’m back  
sorry for going m.i.a… 

**god of sanity**  
are you okay?  
are felix and chan still with you? 

**sunshine**  
not really but i’m getting there  
and yeah me and felix are going back with chan hyung to his and minho hyung’s dorm for the night 

**god of sanity**  
that’s good 

**sunshine**  
and i feel like i should kinda explain myself? cause i’ve seen that you messaged me but obviously i wasn’t responding and i don’t wanna seem like i’ve been ignoring you 

**god of sanity**  
if you want to tell me what’s going on that’s okay, i'll listen, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! <3 

**sunshine**  
no i want to  
so, i’ve been practicing for the performance but i may have stressed myself out too much and it kinda got to the point where i hadn’t talked to anyone in a day and just looking at the notifications on my phone made me feel  
idk  
it got harder to breathe and my legs got weak and i was just generally feeling like shit both physically and mentally.  
like, not really a panic attack but probably could have spiraled into one 

**god of sanity**  
that’s awful sungie… i’m so sorry that happens to you  
is there anything we can do to help when that happens? 

**sunshine**  
the panic thing or the situation in general? 

**god of sanity**  
both  
i wanna know how to help you 

**sunshine**  
uh, well yeah i guess  
with the panic thing it kinda depends but i’m usually coherent enough that i can tell you what i need in the moment 

**god of sanity**  
so if i ask what you need you can tell me? 

**sunshine**  
yeah  
like if i need you to distract me or if i need to step away for a minute etc 

**god of sanity**  
okay, that’s good  
actually  
can i see you? 

**sunshine**  
u mean now? 

**god of sanity**  
yeah 

**sunshine**  
come over to chan hyung and minho hyung’s apartment!  
i want a hug 

**god of sanity**  
i will!  
wait maybe i should ask hyung first 

**sunshine**  
nah just break in, it’s not like it hasn’t happened before :)  
i can leave the door unlocked for you 

**god of sanity**  
thanks sungie <3 

**sunshine**  
np <3  
and thanks for caring about me 

**god of sanity**  
you don’t need to thank me for that 

**sunshine**  
no but i do!  
so thank you  
ohmygosh that rhymed 

**god of sanity**  
see you soon <3 

**sunshine**  
<3  
oh btw chan hyung is dragging minho hyung with him home 

**god of sanity**  
as he should 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not responding to comments last chapter but i'm back from whatever mental state i've been in the past week now! :D


	33. chinbin? changchin?

**spice kids**

****

**young young young**  
important question:  
is it chinbin, or changchin?

 **song mean**  
...what

 **freckles**  
chinbin!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i think changchin

 **sunshine**  
both if you're not a coward :)

 **mango**  
i will abstain from voting

 **god of sanity**  
its nEITHER  
INNIE S T OP

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i don’t know if that says “innie stop” or “innies top” but i’m choosing the second one because it’s funnier :)

 **god of sanity**  
nO  
NO TOP  
i SAID STOP

 **song mean**  
why is the i small  
the i is the only letter that’s supposed to be big  
why’d you only make that one small?

 **freckles**  
it be like that sometimes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **mango**  
wait this is unrelated but  
why is it that whenever chan sleeps, i always assume he’s dead?

 **young young young**  
you didn’t say hyung

 **mango**  
…what

 **young young young**  
you didn’t say hyung  
you only said chan, not chan hyung

 **mango**  
yeah well he’s asleep so it’s not like he’ll notice

 **chan the man**  
thanks minho!  
i’m glad to see you respect me behind my back as well as to my face :)

 **mango**  
hyung!  
i thought you were asleep!

 **chan the man**  
i was :)  
not anymore :)

 **mango**  
that’s too many smileys  
i feel threatened

 **chan the man**  
Good :)

 **young young young**  
so anyways  
what are you all up to on this fine day?

 **freckles**  
lmao  
why is it that whenever someone tries to start some bs, jeongin steps up and is like “hey i’m here to end this mess before it can start”

 **chan the man**  
innie stop pretending you’re not just as chaotic as the rest of us

 **young young young**  
actually, i’m not

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
actually, you definitely are!

 **young young young**  
well whatever  
what’s everyone doing?

 **chan the man**  
looking for minho  
he woke me up so i need to throw something at him

 **mango**  
i’m cuddling w binsung right now :p

 **chan the man**  
…on second thought, throwing something at minho can wait

 **freckles**  
lmao  
i’m playing games on chan hyung’s computer!

 **young young young**  
omg can i join?

 **freckles**  
yeah sure!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wait why is everyone in chan hyung’s apartment?  
i also wanna be where everyone else is

 **song mean**  
well, i’m not there either

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
you could be :)

 **song mean**  
but it’s chan hyung’s apartment  
and he hasn’t invited me

 **sunshine**  
ohmygod  
what’s up with everyone needing permission to enter someone else’s house?  
just break in  
it’s not even that hard

 **chan the man**  
…jisung, stop encouraging people to commit crimes

 **mango**  
be gay do crimes  
it’s really that simple

 **chan the man**  
…minho, stop supporting dumb ideas

 **god of sanity**  
minho hyung is a chaos enabler  
we been knew

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m coming over to chan hyung’s apartment now!

 **mango**  
why do you people never acknowledge that i live here as well?  
why can you not say chan hyung’s and minho’s apartment?  
this is homophobic :/

 **song mean**  
literally no one here is straight  
and you’re not even homosexual

 **mango**  
and?

 **song mean**  
…uhh, nothing, i guess

 **chan the man**  
well,,,  
if everyone is coming over, we can have lunch together!  
do you guys want that? :)

 **freckles**  
mmm food!

 **young young young**  
yes! nutrition!

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
if innie says yes, you know everyone else is coming too :p

 **chan the man**  
honestly, that’s kinda true  
he’s like the spokesperson for everyone  
so much for being the youngest…

 **young young young**  
maknae on top

 **god of sanity**  
^^truly

 **young young young**  
does anyone have something else they need to do today or can we do something fun together after lunch? :D

 **chan the man**  
are you implying that having lunch together isn’t fun…?

 **young young young**  
idk, what do you think? :)

 **song mean**  
o o f

 **mango**  
i mean  
i was gonna go to the dance studio  
but based on the way chan hyung is looking at me right now…

 **chan the man**  
take a day off, minho  
please  
no more practice right now

 **mango**  
fine :/

 **sunshine**  
i’m guessing i’m not allowed to go back to practice either?

 **god of sanity**  
no you’re not  
you’re gonna rest

 **sunshine**  
wait i have therapy later today  
at like 1 pm  
but after that, we can do something together!

 **young young young**  
yay!

 **mango**  
oh by the way  
you’re all invited to the showcase  
both me & jisung are gonna perform :)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oooh cool!  
when is it?

 **sunshine**  
…soon?

 **chan the man**  
very specific!  
thank you jisung!

 **sunshine**  
anytime :D

 **mango**  
it’s next saturday  
be there or be square

 **god of sanity**  
i hate the mental image that puts in my head  
“be there or be square”  
what does that even mean???

 **mango**  
it means be there or i will rip your legs and arms and head off, leaving only your chest, which is supposed to look a bit like a square

 **chan the man**  
thAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS

 **young young young**  
seems kinda violent…  
not sure how i feel about it :/

 **freckles**  
“be there or be square” is nothing compared to the mental image of the phrase “i’m all ears”

 **sunshine**  
if you google that phrase, i’m warning you  
don’t look at the images  
i’ve been traumatized already

 **freckles**  
i did that too, and lemme tell you  
i cannot hear that phrase the same way anymore

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
well now i HAVE to google it!

 **sunshine**  
good luck jinnie  
you will be missed :(

 **chan the man**  
it can’t be that bad…?

 **freckles**  
all you need is an overactive imagination, and then anything can be pretty damn terrifying  
and a person who’s all ears is very terrifying

 **mango**  
i just googled it and omg!  
looks fun :)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

 **god of sanity**  
^^two types of people  
i’m guessing they both googled it

 **mango**  
yup! found some nice images :)

 **chan the man**  
…i’ll see you all soon i guess  
let’s hope jinnie makes it

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
due to personal reasons, i will be passing away  
please give my dog lots of kisses from me

 **freckles**  
goodbye sir  
you will be missed :(

 **sunshine**  
thank you jinnie for your sacrifice!  
even though you definitely didn’t have to google that, you still did

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh yeah  
remind me to never again do the things jisung and felix tell me to do

 **freckles**  
uhh???

 **sunshine**  
we literally told you not to do it???

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
:/

 **sunshine**  
okay  
i see how it is :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unrelated to the chapter but i make way too many jokes about cannibalism for someone who doesn't even eat meat :/


	34. rant time again

**spice kids**

****

**sunshine**  
okay, but can we talk about the phrase “no one’s gonna love you until you love yourself” and other variations of it?  
like, fUCK THAT SHIT

**freckles**  
Y E S  
FUCK THAT

**song mean**  
i agree  
it’s the biggest bullshit ever made

**sunshine**  
i mean, if you really think about it  
what you’re telling people who hate themselves is “it’s impossible to love you right now”  
and that’s not an interpretation  
that’s literally what you’re saying.  
you’re telling someone it’s impossible to love them

**Hoang hon Jean**  
when you put it that way, it sounds so rude

**god of sanity**  
i think the worst part is that when people say it, they’re trying to motivate others to love themselves but saying shit like that is most likely just gonna have the opposite effect

**mango**  
oh damn i’ve never thought about this

**chan the man**  
“no one loves you right now, so you should love yourself!”  
is sounds stupid if you put it like that, but it’s the same thing as saying “no one’s gonna love you until you start loving yourself”, just a different phrasing

**young young young**  
waah  
that’s actually so dumb

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh damn  
i think i’ve said that before but i’m definitely deleting that phrase from my vocabulary now

**chan the man**  
it’s never too late to unlearn a bad behavior! :)

**mango**  
i mean… i see what people are trying to accomplish by using that phrase, but it’s almost never helpful to hear

**sunshine**  
exactly!

**chan the man**  
wait a moment  
isn’t your showcase starting in like an hour?  
why are you in the chat

**mango**  
yup! it is  
we’re currently backstage and preparing :)

**sunshine**  
actually, i’m on the stage

**mango**  
oh i’m SO sorry for not stating your exact location

**god of sanity**  
…why can i hear the sarcasm in your voice?  
but yeah i’m wondering same thing as chan hyung

**sunshine**  
well there’s not much to do right now so i’m just trying to distract myselff

**mango**  
lowkey same

**sunshine**  
why does it have to be lowkey?  
own up to your nervousness!

**mango**  
you’re right!  
i’m nervous as fuck right now and i’m only on my phone because i want a distraction!

**sunshine**  
hell yeah!

**mango**  
but also…  
the argument you were making with the “loVe yOurSelF” thing was very true

**sunshine**  
thanks i know

**freckles**  
…are y’all okay?

**sunshine**  
yeah i’m great! :D

**mango**  
never better! :)

**freckles**  
…ok  
btw, we’re all coming to your showcase :D

**mango**  
yeah we know :)  
i’m gonna go find sungie now

**sunshine**  
noise  
pls cuddle me

**mango**  
i will

**young young young**  
ahh… wholesome™  
jinnie hyung can you please cuddle me  
i crave cuddles

**Hoang hon Jean**  
!!! omw

**chan the man**  
oh wow, innie is asking for cuddles?  
is this character development?

**freckles**  
no it’s not  
he’s always been this way but only to hyunjin  
blatant favorism :/

**young young young**  
it’s called selective affection™

**god of sanity**  
is it really called that, or did you just make it up?  
sounds fake

**Hoang hon Jean**  
just because he made it up twenty seconds doesn’t mean it’s fake!

**god of sanity**  
ah, a valid point  
anyway goodbye!!!  
i’ll see you all at the showcase

**chan the man**  
see you there children!


	35. i love you 2000

**minbinsung**

****

**mango**  
changbin where do you live

 **god of sanity**  
you know that i live in the dorms  
right?

 **mango**  
well i’ve never been there :)  
and also  
where are you gonna live after graduation?

 **god of sanity**  
idk???  
right now it looks like i’m gonna move back in with my parents cause i haven’t found an aparmtnet

 **sunshine**  
aparmtnet

 **god of sanity**  
shush you!!  
anyway… yeah that’s the situation :)  
why do you ask?

 **mango**  
cause chan hyung is turning into a professional producer and isn’t home much  
also we have a guest room  
do you see where i’m going with this…?

 **god of sanity**  
oh!  
but what about jisungie?  
won’t he feel left out if his two boyfriends live together and he’s still in the dorms?

 **mango**  
i’ve thought about this!  
you can fit two beds in the room  
or a double bed  
so in other words, you could share a room

 **sunshine**  
but what about my husband

 **god of sanity**  
what about him?

 **sunshine**  
i’ll miss him :(  
i mean, not that i don’t wanna live with you!  
but we’ve been dating for like  
…a minute

 **mango**  
did you forget when we started dating…?

 **sunshine**  
no lmao i forgot what month it is now  
but anyway!  
i spend a lot of time in chan and minho hyung’s apartment even though i don’t live there  
so i have no problem with you two living there while i stay in the dorms  
it’s just one more year until i graduate anyway

 **god of sanity**  
are you sure about that?

 **sunshine**  
yes i am :)

 **mango**  
okay  
but if you change your mind, of if you start feeling bad about it, please tell us!  
i don’t wanna do something that makes you upset

 **sunshine**  
it really doens’t!  
and unless we break up, i’m gonna want to move in with you later  
:)

 **mango**  
okay then  
we can decide more later then  
but you have a home for after graduation now binnie ;)

 **sunshine**  
wait…  
when is graduation?

 **god of sanity**  
lmaooo  
do you really not know?

 **sunshine**  
no…?

 **mango**  
less than two weeks

 **sunshine**  
oh damn that’s soon  
my boyfriends are leaving me :(

 **god of sanity**  
we’re just graduating, but ok

 **sunshine**  
now who’s gonna force me to sleep on the couch in the music studio whenever i make bad life decisions and stay up until 5 am? :(

 **mango**  
felix  
hyunjin  
honestly, even innie or seungmin would do it if someone told them

 **sunshine**  
oh yeah that’s right lmao  
in that case, i only have one more thing to say!

 **god of sanity**  
and what’s that?

 **sunshine**  
it’s unrelated to everything else we just talked about  
but i’m getting medication for my anxiety  
(oof that felt heavy to type)  
my therapist told me to think about it last time i was there and yeah..

 **mango**  
that’s good!  
or wait is it? are you happy about that?

 **sunshine**  
i mean, yeah i guess…?  
or i hope it’s gonna be good  
when i first started seeing my therapist they didn’t think i would need meds but it’s kinda been getting worse lately  
just thought i’d update you on the situation, cause you know  
yeah  
i’d like you to know

 **god of sanity**  
i’m glad you’re getting help sungie <3

 **mango**  
yeah me too  
and i don’t know how much we can do, but we’ll always try to help if there’s anything

 **sunshine**  
thank you guys <3

 **god of sanity**  
love you guys less than three

 **mango**  
i love you too less than three

 **sunshine**  
NOoo  
it was wholesome until you ruined it :/

 **god of sanity**  
:)

  


****

**road work ahead?**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
guys!!!!!!!

 **freckles**  
what

 **song mean**  
what

 **sunshine**  
what

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
wow thanks for the enthusiasm :/  
but i just realized!!!  
i think we’ve only used this chat to thirst and talk about flirting…?

 **song mean**  
oh damn you might be right about that

 **freckles**  
!!! this needs to be fixed immediately  
quick someone!  
say something unrelated to crushes and love and boyfriends!

 **sunshine**  
if i had a gecko i would name it spyro

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
omg  
are you gonna buy a gecko?

 **sunshine**  
no :(  
i’m just saying that if i had one, his name would be spyro

 **freckles**  
well why don’t you?  
you love geckos

 **sunshine**  
i love lots of animals  
but you’re right  
i really want a gecko :(  
but i can’t claim ownership of a gecko  
the gecko is its own person and will only ever own itself

 **freckles**  
jisung!  
i just had an idea  
what if we had a kiddie pool in our dorm?

 **sunshine**  
!!!  
this is why i married you

 **freckles**  
<3

 **sunshine**  
<3

 **song mean**  
…what  
what just happened?  
weren’t they just talking about a gecko?

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
idk buddy ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
but i actually have another question for you

 **song mean**  
sure, can’t be worse than those two

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
if you put enough water in it, is ramen a soup?

 **song mean**  
…never mind  
i take it back

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
:)  
also i have a reference to make

_Hoang hon Jean_ set the chat name to **i love you 2000**

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i just felt like it was time for a change

 **song mean**  
ooooh  
i might forgive you for your stupid question now :)

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
!!! thank you Good Sir !!!

 **song mean**  
…i am very close to taking it back

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
no! don’t!  
would you really do this to your bestest friend in the widest entirest world? :(

 **song mean**  
yup i definitely would

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh… :(

 **song mean**  
or wait  
i mean… maybe not?  
i guess you can be decent at times

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
oh? :)

 **song mean**  
yeah that’s the closest to a compliment you’re getting from me today

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i’ll take it  
and seungmin?

 **song mean**  
what

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
i love you 2000 :)  
and felix and jisung, if you scroll up whenever you get back here…  
i also love you 2000!

 **song mean**  
aww  
wholesome  
i love you 2000 hyunjin

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
:D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm (probably, hopefully) gonna post a 2000 line-centric fic today cause i wrote the first chapter back in may and recently decided to finish it so i can post it :D  
> apologies in advance to hyunjin jisung felix and seungmin (also jeongin but like,,, lowkey) cause they go through some shit in that one but dw it gets better :)


	36. diapers on my body

**spice kids**

****

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i’m rich!

**song mean**  
i’ve got diapers on my body

**freckles**  
i’m rich!

**sunshine**  
i smell like beyonce

**mango**  
…what

**chan the man**  
ah, our lovely 2000 liners  
i almost forgot about them

**Hoang hon Jean**  
hE forGOT abOut US :(((

**chan the man**  
no not like that!  
i meant that i forgot how chaotic you four are together

**song mean**  
you should never forget

**chan the man**  
that’s true, i shouldn’t  
so what’s up with you guys having diapers on your body and smelling like beyonce? :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
felix misheard the lyrics to a song on tiktok and that’s what he heard instead

**song mean**  
the original lyrics are  
“I’m rich  
diamonds on my body  
I’m rich  
smelling like versace”

**freckles**  
diamonds on my body = diapers on my body  
smelling like versace = i smell like beyonce

**mango**  
that’s cool

**young young young**  
i like your version better!

**freckles**  
thanks innie! :D

**mango**  
guys i have something to say

**god of sanity**  
oh? what is it hyung?

**mango**  
in an alternate universe, i have adopted jisung felix & seungmin.  
chan has adopted changbin hyunjin & jeongin.  
then i start dating chan and suddenly we’re all one big family <3

**chan the man**  
…what

**mango**  
it’s an alternate universe hyung!  
jisung has been my best friend since i was five years old but there are no romantic feelings between us in that universe, cause i’m dating chan and jisung is dating hyunjin  
oh and jisung is deaf

**chan the man**  
…w h a t a r e y o u t a l k i n g a b o u t

**sunshine**  
ohmygosh hyung, keep up!  
he just said it was an alternate universe

**young young young**  
i once had a dream that we were all thrown into a group chat together by an oracle who said we were meant to be friends and help each other!  
and all of us were something supernatural, like a fairy or a vampire

**mango**  
ooh who was the oracle?

**young young young**  
i never found out :(  
they left the group chat without telling us anything about their identity  
oh! and all our lives were based on fairytales

**freckles**  
omg fantasy! i love it!

**young young young**  
yeah!  
but i guess the fairytales were pretty dark, cause like, rapunzel had been locked in a tower for 19 years and snow white’s mom was trying to kill him…  
so yeah :/

**sunshine**  
oh no! which one of us was rapunzel and who was snow white?

**young young young**  
tbh i don’t remember who was who  
i think i was sleeping beauty? or maybe i was beauty from beauty and the beast  
i just remember living in a castle ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**freckles**  
okay but most fairytales are very dark  
sleeping beauty was r*ped in one version of the story

**Hoang hon Jean**  
wHAT

**freckles**  
yeah, and she gave birth to twins while she was still unconscious  
then she woke up and was like “?? tf happened here”  
there was also some almost-cannibalism, and then she lived happily ever after with her r*pist and their two children

**chan the man**  
that is so disgusting, holy fuck

**freckles**  
yeah :/  
anyway does anyone wanna change the topic before it gets ever darker? :)

**mango**  
i have something to say about straight people

**chan the man**  
oh no  
is this the same thing you said today at breakfast?

**mango**  
similar :)

**chan the man**  
oh no

**mango**  
look, i don’t hate straight people  
i just hate the ignorant straight people who don’t wanna hear about anyone else’s sexuality, but it’s very important for everyone to know that THEY’re straight and would NEVER engage in any homesexual activities  
no sir  
not in this Heterosexual household where we do Heterosexual things as Heterosexual individuals :) but you can be gay if you want! just don’t talk about it

**god of sanity**  
“you can be any sexuality you want, i just don’t want it shoved in my face” *proceeds to aggressively shove heterosexuality in everyone’s face*

**Hoang hon Jean**  
lmao  
i love this

**freckles**  
it seems the heteros are upseteros

**sunshine**  
HAHAHHAHAHHA

**mango**  
my mom: you need to start liking more manly things!  
me: starts liking men  
my mom: *surprised pikachu face*

**Hoang hon Jean**  
LMAO

**song mean**  
being straight sounds so weird  
but tbh, being gay also sounds weird  
like,,, as a pansexual, i really don’t see how you can just find one gender and be attracted to it??

**freckles**  
honestly same except i’m bi  
it’s like, how do you NOT experience attraction to any other gender? how can you be so sure you like this one???

**song mean**  
yes!!!  
and i don’t mean to, like, invalidate anyone being gay or straight but i just don’t get it

**god of sanity**  
lmao  
the Straights™ try to accuse bisexuals of being “confused” about their own sexuality but the only thing they’re confused about is hetero/homosexuality

**freckles**  
exactly!  
bi/pansexuality is the only thing that makes sense to me  
i’m confused about everything except my own sexuality :)

**song mean**  
not trying to say that homo/heterosexuality isn’t real cause it obviously is, i’m just saying i don’t understand it

**freckles**  
same!!!  
but just because i don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t real or that i’m gonna go discriminate against people who identify as straight/gay  
i’m confused but that doesn’t give me the right to discriminate

**young young young**  
omg, homophobes could never…!

**chan the man**  
lmao innie makes a good point  
homophobes are like “i cAn’t UndErsTanD sAme sEx aTtraCtiOn…!”  
and it’s like… you don’t have to?  
literally the only part you have to understand is that it happens. that’s it

**freckles**  
yeah that’s a good point  
if you can understand and accept that non-straight sexualities are a thing™, there’s not really anything else to it

**song mean**  
unless you wanna educate yourself on lgbtq+ issues to be a good ally, or understand the lgbtq+ experience, then there’s really nothing complicated about the concept

**young young young**  
yeah! some people are not straight, and that’s all there is to it :)  
or, that’s all there SHOULD BE to it..  
but because of social structures and oppression, there’s a lot more to it :/

**chan the man**  
if you think about it, the Straights™ (read: homophobes) are the reason lgbtq+ experiences are so different from how heterosexual people experience life, love, growing up, acceptance, etc.  
if we truly were treated equally, our experiences wouldn’t be any difference from each other

**sunshine**  
a Hot Take that i did not expect i would be hearing today, but i am not disappointed to hear it :)

**Hoang hon Jean**  
woah…  
can you believe this whole conversation started with us singing about diapers and smelling like beyonce

**god of sanity**  
honestly, it makes a lot of sense

**mango**  
yeah  
knowing the people in this chat…  
it really does :)

**freckles**  
ohh does anyone wanna learn tiktok dances with me? :D

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i do!!!

**freckles**  
great! come over to my dorm!!!

**sunshine**  
ohh i also wanna make tiktoks!

**young young young**  
me too!

**freckles**  
you’re all invited! :D  
except jisung

**sunshine**  
:o

**freckles**  
because you already live here and i can’t invite you to your own dorm, that makes no sense

**sunshine**  
ooh okay  
ngl i was ready to fight

**chan the man**  
sung, i love you but you would not win in a fight against felix

**sunshine**  
??? i never said i would

**chan the man**  
…

**god of sanity**  
why would you fight him if you know you wouldn’t win?

**sunshine**  
but fighting isn’t about winning tho???

**mango**  
you don’t get into fights if you know for sure you’re gonna lose  
that’s just common knowledge

**god of sanity**  
^^unless it’s to protect someone

**mango**  
yeah, true  
that’s the only exception

**sunshine**  
i would like to politely disagree with you  
i’ll fight anyone i want to, thank you very much :)

**freckles**  
okay whatever let’s just make some tiktoks!

**sunshine**  
yes!

**Hoang hon jean**  
yay!

**young young young**  
let’s go ^o^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the alternate universes they were talking about are text fics i might post in the future :p


	37. plans

**spice kids**

****

**chan the man**  
if you can’t beat them, join them

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
what did jisung and felix do now?

 **chan the man**  
actually, this time it was minho and changbin :)

 **sunshine**  
guys… :(  
it isn’t always me and felix that do weird things!

 **freckles**  
yeah!  
why do you always assume it was us? :(

 **god of sanity**  
because a good 80% of the time, it is you two  
so our assumptions make a lot of sense

 **mango**  
we have the statistics to back it up

 **song mean**  
you don’t have any statistics  
i mean, you’re right about jilix being chaotic, but there aren’t any statistics to prove it  
(not that we actually need statistics to be sure)

 **mango**  
yes there are!  
we have diagrams!  
jeongin and i made a powerpoint together

 **song mean**  
that doesn’t count

 **young young young**  
hey! :(  
yes it does!

 **freckles**  
personally i’m more interested in knowing what minho hyung and changbin hyung did  
and why chan hyung would join them

 **sunshine**  
ooh that’s right  
we let ourselves get distracted again

 **song mean**  
okay but… are you surprised?

 **young young young**  
yeah, we always get distracted :/  
it’s very distracting

 **mango**  
you’re getting distracted again

 **freckles**  
!!! chan hyung please tell us what happened

 **chan the man**  
nothing happened (yet)  
we just made some plans, is all :)

 **song mean**  
a foreboding smiley…  
i do not trust you

 **young young young**  
oooh what plans did you make?

 **chan the man**  
for graduation!

 **sunshine**  
ooooh

 **mango**  
i said we should buy alcohol and get wasted  
but chan hyung turned that idea down :(

 **chan the man**  
they both had some unrealistic ideas  
but idk i think we should open it up for a group discussion

 **god of sanity**  
oh yeah! what are we gonna do after graduation?

 **young young young**  
get drunk!

 **freckles**  
shots! shots! shots! shots!

 **chan the man**  
okay..  
any other suggestions?

 **freckles**  
anything is fine if we’re together ^-^

 **mango**  
holy shit that’s so sweet..  
it’s too sweet, my teeth hurt

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
AWWWW

 **chan the man**  
that’s a really cute answer  
and i agree!  
it doesn’t really matter what we do, if we’re doing it with each other <3

 **mango**  
so…  
alcohol?

 **chan the man**  
NO

 **mango**  
but we’ll be drinking together!  
isn’t that what you wanted?

 **chan the man**  
minho stop  
someone else, please come up with a suggestion!

 **sunshine**  
we could just crash chan’s and minho’s apartment again and play games or something, idk

 **Hoang hon Jean**  
omg yes! can we play twister??

 **freckles**  
i can bake brownies :D

 **young young young**  
yeaaaaasss!!!  
i just wanna chill and play games and eat food <3

 **god of sanity**  
that actually sounds really good

 **mango**  
yeah that’s true  
i agree with this plan!

 **song mean**  
sounds good to me

 **chan the man**  
ohmygod  
did we actually… make a plan…?  
i can’t believe it :o  
anyway, it’s decided!  
and just fyi, it’s binnies apartment now as well :)

 **young young young**  
omg i forgot about that  
omg  
people are graduating :(

 **mango**  
yeah but we’ll still be here to annoy you <3

 **god of sanity**  
you won’t have to miss us for even a second <3

 **young young young**  
…i’m sure i won’t miss you at all :)

 **mango**  
rUDE

 **sunshine**  
hey guys  
i have another thing i wanna discuss  
this one is unimportant but whatever  
crackles or no crackles? :)

 **song mean**  
…what

 **sunshine**  
do you bone crack or do you not bone crack?

 **song mean**  
are you asking if we crack our bones or not?

 **sunshine**  
yeah!! :D  
is that not what i just said?

 **song mean**  
your phrasing was a bit off  
i’ll give you 7 out of 10 stars cause you still got your point across somehow  
but also, no  
no bone crack please

 **freckles**  
it depends!  
if someone else does it, i think “No Thanks Sir”  
but when i do it, it’s Fantastic! Haha! Listen to that sweet cracking skeleton! Beautiful crackles from the crick crack man! It’s singing a song for you!

 **chan the man**  
feLIX PL EASE  
DON’T SAY THAT

 **mango**  
bone crack YES

 **god of sanity**  
i politely disagree  
don’t crack your bones

 **Hoang hon jean**  
the sound kinda scares me  
what if your bone breaks?  
also is it really called cracking your bones?  
that sounds so weird

 **song mean**  
yup

 **young young young**  
if you like cracking your bones you’re either a sadist or a masochist  
sorry i don’t make the rules

 **chan the man**  
INNIE NO  
THAT’S NOT TRUE

 **sunshine**  
what if you’re both a sadist and masochist

 **young young young**  
Cracking deluxe™

 **freckles**  
Extra crackles™  
with extra spiciness

 **chan the man**  
…

 **song mean**  
thanks for that  
i hate all of you now

 **freckles**  
:o

 **song mean**  
…except felix

 **freckles**  
^o^

 **mango**  
we manage to make one (1) coherent plan, and then everyone loses their shit completely :/

 **chan the man**  
i’m not surprised tbh  
anyway i’ll see you all later :)

 **mango**  
farewell


	38. congratulations

**spice kids**

****

**mango**  
weeee are the chaampiooons my frieeend

**god of sanity**  
I AM FREE

**song mean**  
minho is like, gently celebrating the fact that he’s graduated college by singing we are the champions  
then changbin just comes in and yells about being free

**young young young**  
he yelled the same thing irl too

**song mean**  
i know  
i heard it :/

**young young young**  
i think everyone on campus heard it…

**mango**  
yeah :)  
it was pretty hard to miss

**chan the man**  
guys!!!  
please gather at the bus stop by the road  
i just lost all of you :(

**Hoang hon Jean**  
guys i just got lost!  
where’s the bus stop?

**mango**  
…how did you get lost at the college you’ve been at for the past three years?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
i don’t KNOW, okay???  
it can happen to the best of us!

**young young young**  
don’t worry hyung!  
i think your lacking sense of direction is endearing!

**chan the man**  
i’m glad someone thinks so… :/  
guys, i’m just trying to get you all back home alive  
where is everyone?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
if i could tell you, i would

**sunshine**  
hyunjin you’re tall  
can’t you see something from where you’re standing?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
yeah i can!  
lots of things  
too many things…  
i’m overwhelmed!!!!

**chan the man**  
deep breaths jinnie  
just find the bus station

**Hoang hon Jean**  
oh wait i’m standing right by it!!!  
lol

**chan the man**  
…that’s good i guess :)  
what about everyone else?

**freckles**  
me and jisung are running to your apartment!  
we’re gonna get there first!!!

**mango**  
haha good luck, the door is locked

**god of sanity**  
that hasn’t stopped them before :/

**mango**  
damn…  
you’re right :/

**chan the man**  
ANYWAY  
a quick summary:  
i’m proud of minho & changbin for graduating <3  
you’re all my children <3  
let’s meet in the apartment cause there’s too many people here  
okay?

**Hoang hon Jean**  
but i’m lost :(

**chan the man**  
okay then i will find you and we can walk there together!  
everyone else, go to our apartment :)

**song mean**  
okay dad!

**young young young**  
sure thing dad!

**freckles**  
love me a responsible father figure!

**chan the man**  
…ok  
goodbye, good luck  
i’ll see you in like 5 minutes <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole week i had to wake up at 5:30 for work again :/  
> just one more week and then i'm free. wooooo!
> 
> ANYWAY this fic was gonna end after graduation but then i decided that nope, i'm writing two more chapters and they're taking place a year/two years later cause i wanna show what they do in the future. probably won't post them until next weekend but who knows? not me lmao
> 
> anyway (again). i hope everyone reading this got to smile today <3


	39. a year later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone doesn't read chapter titles, this is a year later. most of them have changed screen names so here are the new ones:
> 
> chan - chan the man  
> minho - minmin the first  
> changbin - changbinnie  
> jeongin - aien aka innie!!!
> 
> and then there's hyunjin, jisung, felix and seungmin… yeah i'll let those four be a surprise :)

**spice kids**

****

**chan the man**  
we have good news and bad news

 **chan the man**  
wait what the actual fuck

 **chan the man**  
the good news are that my ass looks great in these pants ;)

 **chan the man**  
no! those aren’t the good news!  
but i will admit, your ass looks pretty good

 **minmin the first**  
wait how many chans are there right now?

 **chan the man**  
guys please  
what the fuck  
why are you me???

 **chan the man**  
you mean why are YOU me?  
i am so confused right now

 **chan the man**  
confusion is me

 **chan the man**  
i’m confusing

 **chan the man**  
confusion fusion

 **changbinnie**  
…the fuck

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
sometimes you gotta watch the bullshit go down and say to yourself “nope. i am not dealing with that today.”

 **changbinnie**  
so wait  
our 2000 liners all changed their screen names to chan the man, right?  
or am i misunderstanding this?

 **minmin the first**  
congrats changbin and jeongin!  
we’re the only ones who aren’t chan today!

 **chan the man**  
chan is the only chan

 **chan the man**  
chan is the only man ever

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
yeah i’m not listening to you right now  
sorry

 **minmin the first**  
noooo!  
seungminnie :(  
we used to have matching names :(  
what happened to minmin the second?

 **chan the man**  
sorry minho hyung  
you know i had to do it to em

 **chan the man**  
NO THAT’S NOT ME  
(this is seungmin btw)  
I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT

 **chan the man**  
i am… so confused right now

 **minmin the first**  
well, i don’t think seungmin is the one who said “you know i had to do it to em”  
it just doesn’t sound like something he’d say

 **chan the man**  
exactly!

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
this is a mystery but honestly i don’t care who’s who

 **chan the man**  
but what if they flirt with you  
you will think it’s me and flirt back  
what if you accidentally flirt with felix?

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
it’s your own fault for having the same name as felix

 **chan the man**  
sIKE! I’M FELIX!

 **chan the man**  
THAT MEANS NOTHING  
YOUR NAME IS STILL THE SAME AS OURS

 **chan the man**  
WELL IT MATTERED FOR THAT ONE MESSAGE

 **chan the man**  
NO WHAT THE FUCK  
NO ONE KNOWS WHO’S WHO

 **chan the man**  
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIGURE IT OUT

 **chan the man**  
tbh i love this  
i thrive in chaos :)

 **changbinnie**  
^^that could be either jisung, felix or seungmin

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
WAIT  
what were the good news someone started this conversation with?  
and what were the bad news?

 **chan the man**  
you already know about the bad news  
the bad news are our new screen names :)

 **changbinnie**  
and the good news?

 **chan the man**  
i already said it was my ass! :D  
m y a s s

 **chan the man**  
NO STOP

 **chan the man**  
the good news are that we’re not dead!

 **changbinnie**  
WHAT

 **chan the man**  
so, you know how hyunjin, felix & seungmin recently graduated college?

 **minmin the first**  
yeah  
that was literally yesterday

 **chan the man**  
and you know how we all went roller skating afterwards to celebrate?

 **changbinnie**  
yes, we know  
we were there

 **chan the man**  
well, we didn’t die after!

 **chan the man**  
…good for you?  
by the way, i’m the real chan  
i’m so confused rn  
i have to do something about this

_chan the man_ changed their name to bang chan

**bang chan**  
there we go!  
now you know who i am at least

 **minmin the first**  
but we still don’t know jisung felix hyunjin or seungmin…

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
they’re the same person to me at this point

 **chan the man**  
gASP  
but innie!  
i’m your boyfriend!  
felix and jisung are literally your parents...  
you’re saying that i’m like your parent :o

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
not really what i’m saying, but ok

 **chan the man**  
innie!!!

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
yes?

 **chan the man**  
next year it’s only gonna be you and me in college! :)

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
omg no  
jisung hyung…  
why did you have to take a year off?  
now i’m stuck with you even longer :(

 **chan the man**  
several reasons  
1 mental health  
2 music production internship!!!  
3 just so i can annoy you in school for another year :)

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
:/  
that’s it i’m dropping out  
i don’t need an education to be a preschool teacher

 **chan the man**  
yes you do

 **chan the man**  
yes you do

 **chan the man**  
yes you do

 **chan the man**  
yes you do

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
well hyunjin hyung is gonna be an interior designer  
he could provide for me  
i’d make a lovely housewife!

 **chan the man**  
innie no…  
or i mean yeah you would, but no.

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
yes!

 **bang chan**  
glad to know you have ambitions

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
marry rich, marry young, be happy :)

 **bang chan**  
???  
sure, if that’s what you wanna do, go for it  
i support your dreams but i thought your dream was to become a preschool teacher?

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
yeah i guess… :/  
i suppose i’ll stay in school for one more year

 **bang chan**  
great  
that’s one disaster avoided  
now for the screen names

 **chan the man**  
i will never change

 **chan the man**  
i wanna be myself

 **chan the man**  
what if everyone changed their name to chan the man though?

 **chan the man**  
omg yes!  
that would be hilarious!

 **minmin the first**  
you know what

_minmin the first_ changed their name to chan the man

**chan the man**  
this feels great! :)

 **bang chan**  
miNHO NO

 **changbinnie**  
hyung i’m sorry  
i gotta support my boyfriends

_changbinnie_ changed their name to chan the man

**bang chan**  
binnie… i thought you loved me…

 **chan the man**  
i do!  
but annoying you is so much fun!

 **bang chan**  
innie  
please don’t do what these guys are doing

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
i thought the hyungs were supposed to be the responsible ones  
aren’t they supposed to set a good example for the maknae? :/

 **bang chan**  
yes! exactly!

 **aien aka innie!!!**  
well they didn’t, so you can’t blame me for turning out the way i did! :D

_aien aka innie!!!_ changed their name to chan the man

**chan the man**  
SIKE

 **chan the man**  
I’m having a great time :)

 **chan the man**  
omg who was that?  
who just capitalized in this holy group chat of all lowercase letters?

 **chan the man**  
KILL HIM

 **chan the man**  
omg no don’t kill him

 **chan the man**  
kill me

 **chan the man**  
stop murdering!!!

 **bang chan**  
…sometimes i wonder if i made a bad decision by adding you all to this group chat

 **chan the man**  
why waste your time wondering that?  
isn’t the answer obvious? :)

 **bang chan**  
yeah, i guess it is :/  
but it’s kinda tragic because i still care for you all  
i wish i didn’t :/

 **chan the man**  
aww, he loves us!

 **bang chan**  
at least some of the time… :/

 **chan the man**  
hEY!

 **chan the man**  
THAT’S RUDE!

 **chan the man**  
watch out or i’m gonna come into your room at 4 in the morning and blast all star!

 **bang chan**  
…is that minho or changbin?

 **chan the man**  
SIKE  
it’s felix!

 **bang chan**  
oh no  
oh crap  
i regret everything

 **chan the man**  
as you should

 **bang chan**  
thanks guys  
you’re so funny  
such comedians, very clowns

_bang chan_ set the chat name to **stray clowns**

**bang chan**  
bye i love you all  
i won’t open this chat again until your names are changed so i guess it might be a few weeks before we talk again <3  
i have no regrets though <3

 **chan the man**  
but we live together…?

 **bang chan**  
See You In A Few Weeks <3

 **chan the man**  
…œk.

 **chan the man**  
as a former linguistics major, i hate that i know how to pronounce that

 **chan the man**  
…ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sIKE I LIED! or well i didn't know i was gonna finish this chapter so fast so yeah i'm posting it today instead of next weekend like i said i would. but the final chapter will be up next weekend. also i'm gonna start a new text fic sometime during next week idk when but i already wrote a few chapters for it :p
> 
> unrelated but!!! i forgot to mention last time that i probably have two biases in skz now so yay!!! i'm honestly surprised it took this long for it to happen :]


	40. because FRIENDSHIP! :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's an absolute mess, but you know what? that's how it's supposed to be :)
> 
> anyway here are the screen names (in age order):  
> chaniel  
> moomin  
> changbinnie  
> sam  
> quokka  
> felix sunshine  
> seungmo  
> aien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 has been pulling pranks on me all morning so i hope this gets posted the way it should :]

**stray clowns**

****

**felix sunshine**  
one time, i asked why i am here  
today i finally learned the answer

**sam**  
“here” as in here on earth, alive, or here as in here in korea, or here as in this group chat?

**felix sunshine**  
here as in this group chat!  
or i mean, i’m here because chan hyung added me, but i mean that i know the purpose of me being here now!

**quokka**  
well, i’ve always known why i’m here

**chaniel**  
and why is that jisungie? :)

**quokka**  
to annoy chan hyung! :D

**chaniel**  
…thanks

**quokka**  
you’re welcome <3

**felix sunshine**  
anyway  
the reason i’m here is because FRIENDSHIP! :D

**changbinnie**  
aww!

**moomin**  
eww

**quokka**  
minho hyung, no  
also wtf is up with your name  
when did you change it?

**moomin**  
idk.

**quokka**  
ok.

**sam**  
wait, felix  
didn’t you ask that question like two years ago? more?

**felix sunshine**  
omg hyunjin  
you actually remember it? :O

**sam**  
no i don’t remember, that’s why i’m assuming it was two years ago :)

**aien**  
hyung  
hyung please change your name  
i’m tired of this bs

**seungmo**  
i thought we agreed to stop typing bs when we mean bullshit?  
spell out your curse words like real adults!

**aien**  
stop complaining about the way i type

**seungmo**  
no i will not

**aien**  
oh yeah? you wanna go? you wanna fight?

**seungmo**  
the e-mart parking lot at 4 am on friday, let’s go!

**moomin**  
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**felix sunshine**  
fun things to do with friends (an incomplete list):  
fight, go on clown crusades, break into apartments, get arrested, post on pornhub, throw milkshakes, talk about vore, block each other, visit a hospital, and most importantly, clown each other!

**quokka**  
the best ways to bond! :)

**changbinnie**  
agreed!  
my personal favorite was the clown crusade

**sam**  
omg! we should do that again!

**aien**  
sure! but it’s gotta be before 4 pm on friday, otherwise seungmin hyung won’t be able to attend

**seungmo**  
you really think you’re gonna win this fight? you really think so?

**aien**  
i guess we’ll see!!!

**moomin**  
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**changbinnie**  
are you sure it’s a good idea to fight each other? :/

**sam**  
if we forget about the fight for a moment…  
when are we gonna have the next clown crusade? :)

**felix sunshine**  
omg wait i just found the art assignment that hyunjin posted on pornhub two years ago!  
this is so cool!

**quokka**  
guys i’ll brb i’m breaking into the hyungs’ apartment now! :D

**moomin**  
wouldn’t it be hilarious if i open the window and throw a milkshake at jisung while he’s trying to break into the apartment?

**aien**  
wow what a mess  
i’m blocking y’all

**changbinnie**  
innie noooooo!

**aien**  
hahaha bet

**moomin**  
update: i have acquired milkshake

**quokka**  
omg no please hyung

**felix sunshine**  
i wanna get this on camera!  
minho hyung wait a second i’m running

**seungmo**  
felix just jumped out the window

**changbinnie**  
wHAT?!

**felix sunshine**  
chill, it was on the ground floor!

**aien**  
guys, just fyi, my fight with seungmin is still on

**sam**  
i had an idea  
i’ll bring my fancy camera to your fight so i can get really good shots for our insta!

**seungmo**  
thanks hyunjin!

**felix sunshine**  
ooh can i livestream it? :D

**aien**  
of course!

**chaniel**  
…why am i here :’)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday stays!
> 
> and thank you all so much for reading <3 <3 <3


End file.
